[Prince of Tennis + Vampire Knight] Standing on the Other Shore, Saying I Love You [BL]

The other side is finally back from somewhere~~~Come on Xiaocha~~~Who will the CP be changed to? Jiulanshu?

How pitiful ~ Yu'er! Wow~wow~sad

I miss you too~~~I burst into tears!!! Why are there so many papers!!! I will support you

It's been a long time since I read the article. I'm really busy... Xiaocha, come on and support you.

Some deeds are usually not disclosed to family members.

Al, Jiuer, will your father still ask you to go shopping?

After reading it, it was really well written. Strong support! Haha, I was actually shocked when I first came in. Why is the big page pink? How did you do it? Curious, I hope to inform you

Due to the recent heavy JJ pumping, the review is a bit late. MS is more than two weeks old. Please forgive me for this. One is based on a relaxed and cheerful tone, showing a tennis story, and the other is based on a complicated and heavy theme, depicting a vampire story. The two anime seem completely incompatible, but they have an obvious commonality - there are many beautiful men. Therefore, this provides a lot of creative space for BL articles. Among King of Nets, Ben Lemon likes Fuji the most, and among Vampire Knight, Ben Lemon likes Yiyi the most. Well, I admit, I have never been able to resist the smiling man. Okay, without further ado, let's read the article. The title "Standing on the Other Side and Saying I Love You" is quite interesting to study in detail. It reminded Ben Lemon of a sentence, "Hugging is such a strange thing. We are so close but we can't see each other's faces." This topic is exactly the opposite of this sentence. We can clearly see each other, but we can't get close. If hugging gives people a feeling of warmth but a little mysterious, and maybe a bit ambiguous, then this topic feels straightforward but helpless. Maybe in the end we can only part ways, leaving only a sigh. Although Lemon is not good at criticizing copywriting, I still couldn't help but want to say a few words when I saw this copywriting that wished it was longer than the main text. The copy is so long that I scrolled three times with my lemon mouse scroller before I saw the legendary text. The copywriting is equivalent to the advertisement of the article. The requirement is to be concise and clear, and to put the most attractive highlights of the article to attract readers to read. If the advertisement is long, the audience will directly change the channel; if the copy is long, the readers will directly click the cross button. The copywriting can actually reflect the author's writing level. Some experienced readers can even see the author's writing skills and writing experience from the copywriting. And the copywriting of this article is not only fancy, but also colorful and full of words. Lemon feels that the author pays great attention to the details and appearance of the article, but ignores the overall content and connotation of the article. . Looking at JJ, it is not difficult to find that the copywriting of many great writers is extremely concise, and some are basically just one or two sentences, with fonts, colors, and backgrounds completely unchanged. However, the articles are very well written. Therefore, it is recommended that the author streamline the copywriting and transfer the time and energy invested in modifying the copywriting background, pictures, mouse, fonts, and colors to writing the text. . Of course, this problem is also reflected in the text. The author uses different font colors in the previous chapters. I don't know if the author has any obsession with color. In short, the overall feeling for Lemon is that the author is very impetuous in writing and does not focus on creating words. So I still want to emphasize that truly good novels rely on the content of the article itself to attract readers, rather than these external things. Only when the author devotes himself to writing can he create good-looking novels. At that time, even if there are no colorful decorations, it will still attract a large number of readers. After reviewing the copy, let's take a look at the beginning of the article, which is the content of the first three chapters. . The beginning of the article mainly talks about a woman who wears a man's body and enters the body of Zuo Shengling, thus starting the story of various entanglements with the vampire knight. The background of the story in the first chapter is very novel. The character is in the underworld. Under the arrangement of the Lord of Hell, he returns to reality and enters the body of Cone Sheng Ling. This concept is very good. There are no unexpected ways of death at the beginning of many time-travel novels. Instead, it is simply passed through and the background of the story is shown to the readers through the dialogue with Guitou and the Lord of Hell. . The last two chapters of the opening chapter officially enter the world of vampire knights. Through the dialogue with Yuki and the chairman, we can know that at this time, Rei Aizheng has begun to evolve to Level E, but Yuki still knows nothing about it. It is not difficult to see here that the author mainly uses character dialogue to develop the plot at the beginning. Although the story is explained quite clearly and the plot is well arranged, this writing method reduces the excitement of the opening chapter to a certain extent, and also limits the full development of the story. Generally speaking, it is best not to have too many character dialogues at the beginning of an article. After all, a straightforward description can better develop the plot and explain to readers the story background, protagonist and related plots of the article more straightforwardly. Character dialogues are mostly used in the later chapters. They are mainly used to describe the characters and highlight their personalities. They are detailed descriptions and are not very suitable for the beginning of the chapter. . 6Fa Therefore, the beginning of the article is not bad in terms of content, but it is slightly lacking in writing. After talking about the above points, let's look at the following article. Apart from all the previous font color issues, let's analyze the main issues in detail below. Judging from the entire story, the author respects the original work more, whether it is the Net King or the Vampire Knight, and the characters do not have problems such as collapse or darkness. It's just that the author's grasp of the characters is not deep enough and detailed enough. In other words, when describing the characters, the author only achieves physical resemblance, but not spiritual resemblance. This is also the difficulty of fan creation. Especially for the very distinctive characters in the original work, such as Atobe, the author is often attracted by his external characteristics, so his understanding of the character only stays on the surface, without going deep into the inner or even essence of the character. At the same time, because the author was a little eager to unfold the plot, many characters appeared very quickly, and the portrayal of each character was not detailed enough. As a result, the originally charming characters just passed by in a hurry, and then left the scene in a hurry. Fortunately, the fandom has the support of the original work, so even if the depiction is not realistic enough, readers can make up their own minds based on the original animation. However, if the character description is not vivid enough or vivid enough, it will also detract from the article to a certain extent. In addition, due to the small number of words in the first ten chapters, the main line of the story is unclear and the content is also very loose. However, the author may be aware of this and improve it in subsequent chapters. However, it is still recommended that the author make adjustments to the first ten chapters, whether it is merging chapters or expanding the content, at least so that new readers will not automatically run away because of the first ten chapters. Another major problem with the article is that the author pays too much attention to details and neglects to grasp the overall article. This can be seen in the copywriting. The author pays great attention to very small aspects of the plot. A sentence, a look, an action, no matter the character's heart or demeanor, he has spent a lot of pen and ink and put a lot of thought into it. However, the author has a poor grasp of the overall context of the story. Only after reading the first volume did Lemon understand who CP was and what the main plot was. Therefore, this article feels like a plate of crystal fine sand. Each particle is good, but it is not enough to make a beautiful finished product. I don't know if the author has an outline when writing the article. If he can write an outline and have an overall control of the article, this problem may be easily improved. . Generally speaking, the main problems of the article are the above points. The most important thing is that it pays too much attention to the details and ignores the whole. Therefore, I hope the author can pay special attention to this point when revising the article later or opening new pits. The comments are a bit venomous, and I hope the author can forgive me. If there is anything inappropriate in the comments, please ask the author to point it out and we will discuss it and make progress together. Lure lemon February 24, 2011

By the way = = Just ignore the occasional overlord or something...

Human skin... I smoked it...