I'm So Weak, I'm Just Pretending

[Ongoing: Horror Infinite-Flow Novel, I Was So Scared Back Then]

[More assorted upcoming novels (not really) are listed below!]

Blurb:

In the Year of the Fire Horse, a global infection turns the world into a wasteland overrun by zombies. Those who awaken supernatural abilities become humanity's saviors, setting out on missions to rescue survivors.

This time, Zhou Tingshen comes back from a rescue mission with a useless beauty. It's bad enough that he has no abilities, but he can't lift a finger or carry a thing, and the slightest stern word makes his eyes turn red. My hand hasn't even landed, and he's already crying. He even needs someone to sleep beside him. What? You say he thinks I'm too clumsy and won't sleep with me anymore? I've already warmed the bed, and he thinks he can just refuse to sleep in it?!

Later, Zhou Tingshen discovers that the high-risk fugitive Omega listed on an Interpol Red Notice, wanted for the deliberate murder of 38 people, diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, and awakened to a world-destroying ability, seems to bear a tiny bit of resemblance to the useless beauty he rescued.

Meanwhile, the useless beauty has been whimpering in his arms for over half an hour because he accidentally bumped a finger against the table.

He didn't even break the skin.

This is ridiculous.

[The strongest fighter, a stubborn but softhearted, upright, doting Alpha gong X a beauty Omega shou who plays the pig to eat the tiger, pretending to be scheming but really just a fool]

[Updated daily at midnight. Cover art courtesy of Bishui Gugu.]

[Completed: Crime Investigation Novel, Criminal Motive (a ruthless, taciturn trainee police officer gong X an elegant, foxlike criminal investigation captain shou)]

Coming next: 1. Horror infinite-flow novel, I Was So Scared Back Then

2. Court and nobility novel, After My Nemesis Forced Me to Marry Him

3. Campus romance, The Academic Struggler's Guide to Self-Rescue

4. Master-disciple age-gap novel, The Villainous Master's Online Survival Guide

5. The Younger Merman's Forced-Love Story

6. The Goofy Gong's Guide to Winning Himself Over. Add it to your favorites if you like it~

1. Horror infinite-flow novel, I Was So Scared Back Then

Synopsis: [Blurb captured on November 1, 2022]

The game began without warning, and Xie Jingqing was plunged into a blood-soaked slaughterhouse.

The rules were clear: use any means necessary. Clear the game to survive.

Some people banded together for comfort, while others kicked their rivals when they were down. During a mission, Xie Jingqing killed a ghost and happened to rescue a gorgeous beauty.

The beauty's eyes shimmered with tears. "A delicate little thing like me, so frail and easy to push around, won't survive the night without big brother protecting me."

Xie Jingqing looked at the beauty, who stood a head taller than him, and reconsidered what "delicate, frail, and easy to push around" meant.

Since he needed a teammate and had no one else to rely on, Xie Jingqing decided to keep him close. Until one day, he caught his helpless, delicate beauty casually crushing a ghost's head with his bare hands.

Xie Jingqing: "???"

The beauty froze for a moment, then threw himself into Xie Jingqing's arms, weeping prettily. "Waaah... It suddenly exploded in my hands. I'm so scared."

Xie Jingqing staggered from the impact. "..."

Keep pretending. Go on.

[A ruthless, scheming, tea-green beauty gong X a cool, abstinent beauty shou with maxed-out combat skills]

2. Court and nobility novel, After My Nemesis Forced Me to Marry Him

Synopsis: [Blurb captured on February 2, 2023]

After a major corruption case was settled, Shen Yuzhou, caught up in the scandal, was demoted to commoner status. The young marquis Xiao Yuanshan came sniffing around and, with gongs and drums blaring, forcibly took him home as his bride.

Everyone knew that Xiao Yuanshan and Shen Yuzhou had loathed each other for years. Shen Yuzhou would surely never make it out of the marquis's residence alive. Even Shen Yuzhou himself believed it.

Sure enough, after he married into the marquis's household, Xiao Yuanshan did nothing but mock and ostracize him, finding new ways to torment him every few days.

He just never beat him. He thought it would dirty his hands.

Day after day passed, and Shen Yuzhou was neither crippled nor ruined nor dead. He had good food, good lodging, and even his frail body was nursed back to health. Aside from the occasional insult from Xiao Yuanshan, he was more comfortable here than at his own home.

Shen Yuzhou: "???"

Wasn't something about this a little off?

·

Ever since he was young, Xiao Yuanshan had been in love with the young son of Censor Shen. Forced to turn from friend to foe, he later got a heaven-sent chance when the man was placed right in front of him. How could he possibly refuse?

Of course he had to snatch him up and drag him into his den, then eat him up, body and soul.

[A young marquis whose words say one thing while his actions say another gong X a young master shou who knows his own heart and draws a clear line between love and hate]

3. Campus romance, The Academic Struggler's Guide to Self-Rescue

Synopsis: [Blurb captured on February 15, 2023]

Song Yiyan had a dream. In it, he skipped classes, got into fights, and never studied. After failing the college entrance exam, everyone despised him. When he died far from home, no one even came to collect his body.

The dream felt so real that Song Yiyan woke up drenched in sweat and immediately vowed to turn over a new leaf and work hard!

He studied day and night, putting in every ounce of effort... and still came in dead last on the monthly exam.

A friend suggested, "Aren't you and Lu Huaijiang childhood friends? Ask him for help."

Lu Huaijiang was the famous campus heartthrob and top student of No. 8 High School. But even more famous was their awful relationship: they had a minor spat every three days, a major one every five, and would sneak a kick at each other whenever they happened to meet. Song Yiyan could ask him for help? He'd sooner die out there, or jump from right here, than do that. Well, forget it. His life mattered. A real man knew when to bend.

Since he had to swallow his pride, Song Yiyan decided to abandon all shame and go all in: pretend to have amnesia and cling to Lu Huaijiang.

He walked up to Lu Huaijiang with a test paper covered in zeros. "I heard we were childhood friends? I don't know how to solve this problem. Help me out, would you?"

Lu Huaijiang glanced at him and denied it. "We're not childhood friends."

Song Yiyan turned to leave. "All right, sorry to bother you."

But Lu Huaijiang grabbed him. "We're not childhood friends. We've been secretly dating for years. I'm your boyfriend."

Song Yiyan: "???"

I'm forgetful, not blind!

Later, thanks to Lu Huaijiang's special help, Song Yiyan finally went from coming in last year after year to getting into a top-tier university.

His friend eagerly asked for an interview. "How does it feel?"

Song Yiyan held his aching lower back. "Don't ask. Let's just say the price was too high for me to handle."

[A devoted, long-suffering top student, aloof as a flower on a high mountain, gong X a goofy, adorable, prickly, tsundere academic struggler shou]

4. Master-disciple age-gap novel, The Villainous Master's Online Survival Guide

Synopsis: [Blurb captured on February 15, 2023]

Shen Changxian was stubborn to the bone and never believed in warnings about transmigrating into a book. He searched high and low for a novel whose protagonist had the same name as him, then stayed up all night reading it, determined to prove through personal experience that rumors shouldn't be believed or spread.

Then he woke up and found himself transmigrated into the book.

Shen Changxian: "..."

Sorry, I admit I was a little loud just now.

With all eyes on him, he couldn't break character. Shen Changxian had no choice but to grit his teeth and quickly recall the plot.

In the novel, the original Shen Changxian was gifted but arrogant. Everyone in the sect showed him respect to his face, but behind his back, they had enough gossip about him to go around the world twice. Fortunately, it wasn't long before he got what was coming to him for humiliating a homeless child.

That's right, that homeless child was the novel's male lead. He was handsome, powerful, and tragic. He held grudges, rose to prominence, and made the original Shen Changxian his first target. The words "rip out his tendons, break his bones, flay him, and drink his blood" were all bloody verbs to him.

His recollection complete, Shen Changxian looked down at the homeless child struggling in pain beneath his foot and fell deep into thought.

...If he begged for mercy now, could he still negotiate for his corpse to be left intact?

[A black-hearted, possessive-to-the-extreme disciple gong X a heavenly beauty of a shou, a goofy, theatrical master]

Theme: Never give up hope, because the light will always come.

2":"Blurb:

Chi Xu has a little secret: he has the ideal physique for a cauldron, being both male and female. Only by ascending can he escape this dual-sex body and obtain a brand-new immortal form.

To keep anyone from discovering his secret, Chi Xu has kept to himself since childhood, living in quiet seclusion.

He ignores his master's solicitous care.

He pays no heed to his senior brother's attentive concern.

He meets his junior brother's attempts to curry favor with a cold glare.

At last, in everyone else's eyes, he has become a cold, unfeeling oddball whom no one wants to get close to.

Until one day, a new disciple named Shen Qihan joins the sect.

Shen Qihan is lively and energetic, friendly with everyone. Everyone, that is, except Chi Xu. The two are at each other's throats the moment they meet, stirring up chaos wherever they go.

Finally, on the first day after their master ascends, the two get into a fight, and Chi Xu accidentally runs his sword through Shen Qihan's chest.

From then on, they go their separate ways. One becomes the leader of the cultivation world, while the other falls into demonic cultivation and becomes the overlord of the demon realm. They never speak to each other again.

After what happened, Chi Xu assumes they will be enemies for the rest of their lives. But on the day of his ascension tribulation, a bolt of heavenly lightning strikes him in the head, knocking him unconscious on the spot.

When he wakes up, Chi Xu discovers that he has become the cauldron offered as a sacrifice to Shen Qihan.

Shen Qihan stares coldly at him, then pinches his chin with a faint smile. "Your face really does look like his. Whenever I see it, I can't help wanting to abuse and trample you."

That night, Shen Qihan leaves him half dead. In the middle of the night, he wakes in a daze and sees Shen Qihan weeping in his sleep, eyes closed as he murmurs, "Chi Xu, I really, really like you. Why... why can't you look at me even once?"

Chi Xu: "..."

[A genuinely gentle shou who only pretends to be cold X a genuinely devoted gong who only pretends to be heartless]

Cover art authorized by Wei Lou

Theme: Have the courage to face your true self

3":"When Yun Shen's dantian shatters, he meets a mage from another dimension.

Mage: What's a dantian? The part of the body that absorbs and stores energy?

Yun Shen: Once your dantian is shattered, your path to immortality ends.

Mage: Really? I don't believe it. I'll use alchemy to make you an external dantian and see if it works!

Yun Shen never imagined that an external dantian would actually work!

Yun Shen: What's a mage? Another name for a cultivator?

Mage: Magic comes from one's bloodline. It's innate and can't be gained through cultivation. Mages are descendants of ancient magical creatures and humans.

Yun Shen: Magical creatures... powerful demons? So you're actually a mixed-blood demon cultivator?

Mage: No, that's not what I mean!

The mage never imagined that demon cultivation techniques would actually purify his bloodline!

When cultivation meets magic, you and I join hands, share our fate, prove the Great Dao, and enjoy eternal life!

[This novel entered VIP status on September 1, 2022. Thank you all for your support, mwah~]

1. One-on-one romance, feel-good, sweet.

2. Thanks to my friend Li Mozi for the hand-drawn cover. Heart!

3. I previously completed The Mage of Xingji, about the collision of technology and magic. Then I suddenly thought cultivation and magic could spark something special, too. Although both stories have mages, the mage from Yun Shen's world and the mages from Xingji's world come from different settings. They're not the same! This isn't a crossover.

Theme: Move forward without fear. My fate is mine to decide

4":"\"Your boyfriend has vanished without a trace, leaving no bones behind. As his bereaved partner, you are inconsolable, hurting yourself every day. Then, on your birthday, you receive a cake and decide to set out in search of him.\"

\"You enter a haunted house with a tour group, then leave them behind and venture alone into the domain of the dead.\"

\"The corpses gather around you. You become their delicious meal, and your boyfriend is among them. Find him.\"

[Corpse 1] [Corpse 2] [Corpse 3]...

Tan Tan chooses Corpse 44.

He throws himself into a cold embrace and looks up at the handsome face, trembling with excitement. \"It's your birthday today. Shall we eat birthday cake together?\"

Seeing the fervent affection in Tan Tan's eyes, the cold corpse smiles and nods. \"Sure.\"

In a blood-soaked haunted house, Tan Tan shares birthday cake with a corpse, then lies down with him in a coffin to sleep.

In a dark cavern, Tan Tan exchanges wedding rings with a skeleton and holds a wedding deep inside the cave.

On a snowy night of murder, Tan Tan takes the blade of a murderous evil spirit and prepares a loving dinner for him.

The Nightmare boss, bored and with nothing to do, takes a walk through the game. Every terrifying, bloodthirsty creature fears him, and no one dares approach.

But lately, strange things keep happening. A pretty boy keeps throwing himself into his arms, mistaking him for his lover and showering him with declarations of love. The boy's innocence, sincerity, and tenderness gradually stir the heart of even the cold-blooded Nightmare boss.

When the boss confesses his love, the boy tilts his head, looking both innocent and cruel. \"Huh? You like me? But what if it was all an act?\"

Theme: Stand on your own, stay true to yourself, and strive bravely

5":"[Check out my upcoming novel, I Sent My Love Interests to Prison, on my author page~]

[Mastermind + spiritual qi revival + secret identities + game becomes reality]

A game appeared on Jiang Hualuo's phone, and he couldn't delete it. After he cleared it, the game began to manifest in reality.

Spiritual qi revived, and otherworldly forces invaded.

Dark rifts appeared all over the world, and demons from another realm emerged from them. The once peaceful world was suddenly beset by danger.

In the midst of the crisis, several mysterious and powerful figures protected everyone, easily defeating the demons and rescuing people from disaster:

A mysterious talisman formation master waved his hand, sending countless talismans flying to seal away the otherworldly demons.

A beast tamer surrounded by spirit beasts appeared in the countryside with his own paradise.

A kindhearted healer used delicious food, equal parts loved and hated, to heal the injured.

A king who had once unified the world returned to the mortal realm, leading his loyal subjects to restore its former glory.

People followed them and clustered around them like stars around the moon, seeing them as saviors.

\"They're our strongest line of defense. As long as they're here, we're safe!\"

\"They're the dawn guiding us through the darkness, beings beyond all others, our gods and saviors!\"

\"They turned the tide and saved our nation when it was on the brink of collapse. They're a miracle sent from heaven!\"

As the world was swept up in turmoil, an unseen hand pulled the strings from behind the scenes.

But no one knew they were all the same person.

And this entire world was just a game in his hands. He decided its future.

After once again turning the tide in the game, Jiang Hualuo endured the dull ache in his liver, set his phone down with a graceful smile, and said, \"Another perfect clear today!\"

Reading guide:

1. The protagonist never reveals his secret identities throughout the novel. He's a hardcore gamer. The protagonist's values do not represent the author's.

3. This is a fictional setting. Please don't compare it to reality.

2. No unsolicited writing advice. Comments containing it will be deleted, so please use the back button.

I Sent My Love Interests to Prison

He Zha finally finished grinding through her report, happily lay down in bed, and never woke up again, literally.

That's right, He Zha pulled three all-nighters to finish her report and died suddenly.

After her death, He Zha transmigrated and got a System.

The System told her that to come back to life, she had to get the assigned targets to express their love for her.

The targets included a handsome, charismatic A-list actor, a tall and gorgeous domineering CEO, and a renowned psychologist.

The System pointed to the targets and said, \"This actor seems to be a perfect gentleman, but he's secretly violent and aggressive, often beating people up. Make him desperately pursue you.\"

\"This CEO runs a massive company, but in reality, he evades taxes. Among ruthless capitalists, no one would dare call anyone more corrupt than him. Make him go red-eyed, grab you by the waist, and give his life for you.\"

\"This psychologist is famous around the world and has cured countless patients, but he's a highly intelligent criminal who encourages people to kill themselves. Make him think of you constantly and lose sleep over you.\"

He Zha: "..."

He Zha fell into thought.

He Zha clenched her left hand into a fist and thumped it against her right palm. \"I get it!\"

And so, after He Zha's series of maneuvers, she succeeded in making the actor desperately pursue her, the domineering CEO go red-eyed, grab her by the waist, and give his life for her, and the psychologist think of her constantly and lose sleep over her.

He Zha \"unfortunately\" captured the actor bullying someone on camera, causing his public image to collapse. Using her superb escape skills, she made him chase her in vain. If he actually caught her, she'd be the one getting tossed into the crematorium!

He Zha drove the ruthless capitalist CEO's company into bankruptcy, forcing him to move from a mansion into a shabby little house. Of course he grabbed her by the waist, his eyes red, and gave his life for her when he saw her!

He grabbed her by the waist and turned red-eyed. He Zha gave her life, in that order.

He Zha exposed the psychologist for secretly encouraging people to kill themselves, ruining his reputation. Of course he thought of nothing but He Zha and couldn't sleep at night thinking about her.

In the end, He Zha sent them all to prison and earned the achievement: The Light of Righteousness.

System: "?!"

System: "That's cheating! You're cheating!"

He Zha: "Just tell me, did I do what you asked or not?"

Theme: Perseverance always brings hope

6":"The sea flooded inland, the magnetic field went haywire, and seawater submerged 99% of the land.

How do you survive a natural disaster?

Lin Hanshuang unlocked an ocean survival System. The System told him he had an initial territory. He paused, then watched as two planks appeared out of thin air.

?

Initial territory?

+++

Upcoming novel: The God-Tier Tycoon Male Lead. Give it a click and add it to your favorites. I'll start right away!

Theme: Unity and courage in the game of the brave.

7":"It's finished and complete, so you can dive right in!

You were a modern person, with just one little-known kink. Right after finishing Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace, you transmigrated. You planned to keep your head down in the palace and watch the main characters' drama unfold. But then you saw Eunuch Jinzong standing right in front of you. This was the man who had repeatedly run over your kink with a tank.

He didn't notice you, busy arranging things in the flower room. But in your mind, you were already plotting how to steal Jinzong away from Wei Yanwan.

After all, if he stayed with Wei Yanwan until the end, he was doomed to die. Jinzong gave her his heart, but Wei Yanwan didn't love him and was even disgusted by him for being a eunuch, wasn't she?

As for everyone else, you could just let the story play out naturally.

With that in mind, you curled your lips into a gentle, serene smile, slowly raised your head, and softly said to the man in front of you, \"This servant heard you clearly. I'll take that begonia to the Hall of Mental Cultivation. Please wait a moment, Eunuch.\"

That was the first time you met his eyes. His pupils contracted slightly, reflected in your clear, dark eyes.

Well, who could have expected it? You were another beautiful palace maid, but when Eunuch Jinzong first discovered Wei Yanwan, he had no idea there was another girl hiding her talents in the little flower room.

Eunuch, look at me a little more. Let me see whether love at first sight can outlast affection that grows over time. In the end, will you find yourself unable to resist running your fingers over my cheek?

1. Original female protagonist, transmigrated. She's calculating on the inside, gentle and quiet on the outside, and no less beautiful than Wei Yanwan or the other consorts. (I personally imagine her with Zhang Bihan's face from Serenade of Peaceful Joy~ No real-life actors are involved.)

2. I don't like the Jinzong and Ling pairing, so I'm breaking them up. Side pairing: original female character X Li Yu. (Yes, I'm going to pair Li Yu off too...)

3. Happy ending~ No angst~ But I'm not very good at writing super-sweet romance. My writing is a mess, and I'm an amateur who just loves writing anyway. I'd be so happy if you liked it~

4. She and Jinzong keep their heads down and survive to the end. Everyone else follows the story naturally.

5. Based on the TV drama, not the novel. TV drama versions of Jinzong and Li Yu~

Theme: Exquisite eunuch fiction