I Sell Rat Poison at the Distillery

[Revisions are ongoing. Updates should resume in the next few days.] Coming soon: Every Time I Come Back to Life, I Get Another Wedding Ring; The Rice Flower Town Trouble-Makers. Please add them to your favorites, mwah! After graduating from Tokyo Jujutsu High, I found a stable job in sales. On my first day, the company executives happened to be visiting. I was mingling with the crowd when one of them singled me out at a glance. "If you're not careful, this job can leave you with a bloody head." "All you have to do to get your foot in the door is sell the product I'm holding to a man in a black trench coat and black fedora." My boss smiled kindly, and the bandages around his head were especially convincing. Entrusted with this important task, I took the half-bottle of rat poison from him with both hands and set off, brimming with confidence, on the road to becoming a professional salesperson. That very night, I found my target customer. He was a silver-haired young man with a gloomy expression. Even in the height of summer, he wore a high collar and a leather jacket. He looked like a man with ambition. I blocked his way, put on the inscrutable yet inexplicably confident smile I'd learned from my boss, and spoke before he could get a word in: "Sir, I imagine you're having a terrible problem with rats right now. I'm here to help." Ever since Gin picked up a new recruit from the bar district, life has been rough for the Whiskey crew. The pretty new recruit calls himself a rat extermination expert and is fiercely loyal to the Organization. He wears a spine-chillingly benevolent smile on every mission and accurately picks out one commercial spy, traitor, and fence-sitter after another. The fake booze have no choice but to watch their step. Until one moonless, windy night, they heard someone on the rooftop yelling into a phone: "Three years, then another three years! If you don't raid the place soon, I'll practically be the boss!" "Gin makes me catch rats every day! He doesn't even know his own house is a rat's nest, and he doesn't even know you can't use cheese to catch rats!" "If the Organization doesn't go down soon, next time I'll tell him Gin's a rat!" The Whiskey crew: ??? The Whiskey crew: Actually... that might work. Blurb screenshotted on 2022/07/14 0. This story highlights the challenges new graduates face when job hunting. Stay alert and beware of scams so you don't fall into the trap of a shady company. 1. A carefree, brainless comedy, third-person narration, 1v1, pairing undecided. 2. Lots of headcanons, and lots and lots of OOC. 3. An endless supply of tragic Whiskey crew shenanigans (not really). 4. The cover has been purchased and belongs to me. Please do not use it. 5. This work is entirely fictional and is unrelated to any real country, organization, institution, or individual. 6. Thanks to the angels who pointed out typos. I'll fix them all together later, mwah! Blurb for Every Time I Come Back to Life, I Get Another Wedding Ring Every time Hanamori Nanae comes back to life, she loses the memories of her previous life. As compensation, a diamond ring she's never seen before always appears on her left hand. This time, Hanamori Nanae has finally collected all seven. She can wear a different one every day, and she's living the good life. Until... When she takes a teaching job at Tokyo Jujutsu High, her silver-haired colleague, whom she's working with for the first time, grips her wrist. His Six Eyes gleam coldly as he asks: "Whose ring are you wearing this time?" While traveling to Yokohama for work, she happens to save a young man from drowning. He takes her left hand, his face bandaged and full of hurt: "You don't like the ring I gave you, do you?" At a coffee shop to meet a client, the blond, dark-skinned waiter serves her coffee, then smiles kindly as he looks at her ring: "Do you know how many years you can get for marriage fraud?" After this happens several times, Hanamori Nanae looks at the seven diamond rings on her table and finally understands: How is this compensation? They're all debts. Theme: Stay true to yourself and bravely pursue your dreams.