[Genshin Impact] My Years Cultivating Immortality in Teyvat

[Chapter V is almost entirely a rules horror story, so readers who aren't into this genre should probably steer clear!]

[Pre-registration: "[Genshin Impact] Heartless Company, Blind-Box Gacha," at the end of the blurb]

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I died, falling from the Zhuxian Platform, without leaving behind so much as a scrap of bone.

Before I died, I heard someone loudly discussing me: "Her eyes gouged out, bones stripped, face ruined, and she's the Daughter of the Heavenly Dao? What a useless waste!"

And yet, and yet.

This utterly useless me saved my continent on the way out.

Pah. Rotten wood, the lot of you. You couldn't even take a single sword strike from me.

After I died, the Heavenly Dao sent me to Teyvat, a strange otherworld, and told me to live well.

Me: As if! I'm going back to kill those people who cursed me, and break every bone in their bodies!

And so I began my path of cultivation in Teyvat.

[Reader's Guide]

1. This is a short story, and after the rules horror arc, the protagonist goes back. Proceed with caution.

2. The rules horror arc might be a little scary, so please read with care!

3. This is a very short story, with few cultivation elements and a quick ending. Please decide for yourselves whether to read!

*Pre-registration: [Genshin Impact] Heartless Company, Blind-Box Gacha

A craze for gacha has recently swept across Teyvat.

It's said that a company called [Mora From Every Direction] has released a set of adorable paper characters.

It's said that these paper characters are modeled after important figures who possess Visions! What's more, they inherit some of their real-life counterparts' mannerisms!

For example, some are household essentials.

The Mondstadt bard will sing you a song anytime, anywhere; the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor consultant from Liyue will help you get to bed early and wake up early for a healthy lifestyle; the head of the Kamisato Clan at the Yashiro Commission will urge you to improve your work efficiency, while the Akademiya scribe will give your intelligence a little workout from time to time.

Of course, there are also some mischievous little paper characters.

They tug your hair, steal your food, or tell you terrible jokes in an attempt to freeze you to death... But they're so cute that they're just as popular across Teyvat.

To get these paper characters, you have to buy blind boxes from [Mora From Every Direction]. Ten boxes cost one million Mora.

If you're unlucky, no problem! To ensure Teyvat's residents have a satisfying spending experience, the company has also introduced a gacha pity system:

A five-star paper figurine is guaranteed within 90 pulls, with a 50% chance of being a standard one! At 180 pulls, you're guaranteed the featured limited paper figurine!!!

Isn't that super "heartless"?

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Si Lan has been an utterly hopeless gacha player both in and out of games for as long as she can remember.

After another disastrous pull, she used her trembling fingers to massage her stiff face...

Blind boxes, blind boxes, and all she ever gets are Sunsettias, Sweet Flowers, and Hilichurl paper characters!

That would be bad enough, but the health-conscious Zhong Xiaoli only came home on her 179th pull (reaches for oxygen).

But she has no choice but to keep pulling! Because this awful company has launched some kind of Complete Collection campaign!

Collect a full set and you get limited-edition paper furniture, paper-character outfits, and more.

Smile, smile. She's not angry! Argh, who on earth started this shady company?

Oh, she did. Never mind, then.

.

Just as Si Lan was making a fortune, the friends whose likenesses had been used without permission showed up at her door, each bringing their own paper character.

Zhongli pointed to the little cat-dragon curled up in the hollow of his neck. "By common reason, I have absolutely nothing to do with this thing, do I?"

Si Lan: "Ahem, that's a bonus for pulling the limited weapon. It unlocks the paper character's second form."

Xiao listened, holding the little green bird on his shoulder, and said nothing.

Then the doors of [Mora From Every Direction] were thrown open, and the place filled with people demanding compensation.

Si Lan smiled apologetically. "Of course, of course. We can pay you or give you shares!"

Hey, wait, you can't have the people! They'll disappear if you cut them open!!!

Theme: Even when you're stuck in the mire, don't forget love and courage