I'm Really Not a Fake Booze!

Blurb/

"I'm a real deal. I really am.

"Even though my codename is Red Whisky, and everyone keeps calling me Red this and Red that, I'm really a genuine bottle!

"... Big Brother Gin! Please stop looking at me like that! I really am a Red on the Black side! ... No! I didn't mean I'm a mole!!!"

Gin: "."

Anyway, because my codename was so suspicious, the boss simply kicked me over to the police department as a mole. I really did become a Red on the surface.

Maybe it was because I was too good at my job, or more likely because our distillery had such powerful connections, but I kept rising through the ranks on the Red side. Within a few years, I became an inspector, much to the baffled stares of my friends.

"...Y-yeah, I'm an inspector in the traffic division, but I'll do my best to contribute to our organization! Look, Big Brother Gin! These are all the speeding and illegal parking tickets I gave you!!!"

Gin: ". ."

"...Th-then I'll transfer to the Criminal Investigation Division! Look, Big Brother Gin! I've solved three major cases this month! A promotion and a raise are right around the corner! ... No! I'm not planning to defect! I'm still a bad guy! Look, I'm stepping on an ant by the road! Ha!"

Gin: ". . ."

Later, under Big Brother Gin's relentless pressure, I had to give up the bright future I'd built in the traffic and criminal investigation divisions and transfer to the Public Security Bureau.

"Big Brother Gin! Look at the intranet password I finally managed to get! No time to explain! I'm going to get Bourbon to hack into the Public Security system. The Black Organization taking over Japan is no dream!"

Bourbon: "."

Later still, the Black Organization was wiped out in one fell swoop by a mysterious force.

They say Gin went to prison, where he suffered miserably in a high-security prison.

At midnight, he heard a series of knocks from the cell next door.

A familiar female voice called out:

"See, Big Brother Gin! I wasn't lying! I'm really not a fake!"

Gin: "..."

Gin: You may not be a fake, but you sure are a terrible teammate.

This story could also be called Gin and His Exasperating Underling, The Police Academy Crew and Their Exasperating Boss, or How Both the Black and Red Sides Somehow Got the Wrong Idea About Me.

Please Note

1. This is a nonsensical comedy. If it isn't funny, then it's a Mary Sue story.

2. Don't scrutinize the details. The timeline is a mess. There probably won't be any major plot holes, but some events have been moved around.

3. The pairing hasn't been decided. Seriously! Even the author doesn't know! I'll announce it as soon as I do QAQ.

4. The Akai and Amuro romance will be written out! Please don't read if that bothers you.

5. I know Red Whisky is a type of Scotch whisky. There's a reason for choosing this codename.

6. The theme is inspired by Rabindranath Tagore's Stray Birds.

Theme: Faith is a bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.