Synopsis
Everyone in the capital knew that the current emperor and the empress dowager had been at odds for a long time, but no one knew why the emperor had suddenly changed his ways.
Qin Qiaoyue merely yawned, only to be hit by a flowerpot falling from the sky and sent to a dynasty that had never existed in history.
The good news: She skipped palace intrigue and household drama entirely, and went straight to becoming the empress dowager, ready to enjoy her retirement.
The bad news: Her stepson seemed to have a grudge against the current emperor.
The young emperor was only around ten, yet he could already sit stone-faced on the dragon throne and oppose her at every turn.
Unfortunately, Qin Qiaoyue had little ambition. She would rather grow flowers, play with dogs, cook, and raise children in the palace, leading everyone there in the pursuit of fun. Her greatest interest was looking forward to arranging a selection of consorts once the young emperor came of age.
If she got along with the young emperor, she could sneak out for outings more often in the future. Qin Qiaoyue gazed happily at the enormous Renshou Palace and began dreaming of a wonderful future.
But before that could happen, her biggest obstacle changed from the young emperor to the current Chief Eunuch.
When she admired a beauty, the Chief Eunuch advised, "Your Highness, please mind your bearing."
When she set up a market in the palace, the Chief Eunuch advised, "There are too many eyes and ears here. Your Highness, please return to Renshou Palace."
When she climbed the wall in the middle of the night, the Chief Eunuch advised, "Your Highness is a person of such precious status. You must not suffer even the slightest injury."
Qin Qiaoyue: ...I'll put up with it.
The Chief Eunuch was one of the few people in the palace who had treated the young emperor well ever since he was a prince, and he was exceptionally close to the emperor. Even Qin Qiaoyue, as empress dowager, had to give him some respect.
"And later? Naturally, I put on the airs of an empress dowager, punished him for insolence, and threw him in the dungeon..." Qin Qiaoyue said through gritted teeth as she fed the fish in the imperial garden, one hand pressed to her aching waist.
The young emperor looked at her with concern, but didn't dare remind her that the "insolent" man she was talking about had quietly come to stand right behind her.
Content warnings and notes:
1. The male lead is a fake eunuch!
2. Both leads are virgins, one-on-one romance.
3. A cozy, everyday-life story.
4. The author's writing has its limitations, and some things may differ from reality. Please don't overanalyze.
5. The story is entirely fictional, with no real-life basis.
6. More to come if I think of anything...
Disclaimer: This was an old idea I had long ago. I barely remember it, and since I'm not very good at writing a modern person transmigrating to ancient times, I wrote it as a short, sweet practice piece to get back into writing. The whole story is only ten chapters, all written in advance. Updates begin October 21 at 9 p.m. The entire story is free. Hope you enjoy it!
The heroine is a lazy, pleasure-loving, handsome-man-loving, and death-fearing slacker. This is the work of an author in a state of deranged inspiration. Feel free to share your thoughts, but please be gentle. I'm already giving this away for free, so go easy on me.
Coming soon: What Should I Do After Choosing the Wrong Major in Cultivation?
They say the Heartless Dao is for those who fail at cultivation on one site, and those who take a wrong turn on another. Unfortunately for Miao Cancan, she was young and naive when she stepped into the Heartless Dao department at a certain sect.
That sect was one of the top cultivation sects in the world, divided into the Heartless Dao, Dual Cultivation, Righteous Dao, and Demon Dao departments.
Aside from the Demon Dao department, which only accepted ghost cultivators, the other three departments admitted cultivators in all kinds of popular majors, including sword cultivation, poison arts, alchemy, and beast taming.
After twelve years of hard study, Miao Cancan had earned her place. Excited, she posted a question on the Heavenly Dao version of Zhihu.
"Senior brothers and sisters, which major at this sect is the best?"
For context, I'm considering the Miao Gu major. I heard the Heartless Dao department has a high ascension rate. Is that true?
Anonymous reply: @Head of the Heartless Dao Department, the admissions office has a new case.
Anonymous reply: The Heartless Dao...? Why would you choose to cultivate the Heartless Dao at this sect? You should turn left and go to the neighboring sect instead.
Anonymous reply: Isn't the Heartless Dao department's graduation rate pretty high? Don't discourage this junior sister. Come join us! We'll guarantee you reach the Deity Transformation stage in twenty years and the Mahayana stage in forty. With a little luck, we can even fast-track you to ascension!
Anonymous reply: Junior sister, don't listen to that person bragging. Their department is famous for its high failure rate. Come to our Dual Cultivation department. Big sister will teach you how to have fun with men~
Original poster: Thanks, senior sister from the Dual Cultivation department, but I've always cultivated in the Supreme Forgetfulness path, so I still want to join the Heartless Dao department. Is Miao Gu a popular major there?
Anonymous reply: Um... If you're not afraid of bugs, it should be fine. The Heartless Dao department has the most resources in the sect. As long as your grades are good, you don't have to worry about running short on resources like caves or secret realms.
Original poster: That sounds great! Thanks, senior sister!
Miao Cancan put away her water mirror, completely satisfied. She had firmly chosen the Miao Gu major in the Heartless Dao department, and had no idea just how much she would come to regret it.
Jiang Yi was the senior brother of the sword cultivation major in the Heartless Dao department and a direct disciple of the sect. He had always followed the Supreme Forgetfulness path, believing that one had to understand emotion before forgetting it. So he took on the task of guiding the new disciples as they joined the sect.
However, after presiding over the induction ceremony, he received a water-mirror message that made him want to faint.
[The Little White Snake Studying Miao Gu]: Greetings, Senior Brother!
[The Little White Snake Studying Miao Gu]: Senior Sister said your eight-pack is huge. Can-can needs it. (beckons with a finger)
Jiang Yi's eyebrows, which hadn't moved in ten thousand years, twitched almost imperceptibly. His fingers, however, honestly sent her a photo of his abs.
[AAA Admissions Consultation]: Are you one of this year's new disciples?
Miao Cancan, reading the message on her water mirror, didn't notice anything strange about the question. Instead, she promptly sold out the senior sister from the Dual Cultivation department.
At that moment, the senior sister had just realized she'd accidentally used the Heartless Dao department's senior brother's water-mirror contact key instead of the Dual Cultivation senior brother's key, the one she'd used to help her fellow sisters learn to forget their feelings through physical intimacy. In a cold sweat, she immediately ducked into an unoccupied secret realm and sealed its entrance.
Before she left, she didn't forget to send Miao Cancan a message.
[You Can't Understand My Charm]: Junior sister, your senior sister is in huge trouble. I have to go into seclusion for ten years. Don't come looking for me until you've successfully ascended!
It wasn't until Miao Cancan and Jiang Yi both received failing grades and the sect leader lectured them in dismay that she finally understood what that comment beneath her question on Heavenly Dao Zhihu had meant: "Cultivating the Heartless Dao at this sect is no different from courting death."
Theme: Face life bravely.
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Congratulations on writing the article! Good luck opening the article!!
Who hasn't collected my advance collection yet? (Running around) Who hasn't collected my advance collection yet? (Running around) Is that you? (Catch) It's not you (Let go) It's you! (Catch) It's not you (Let go) Who on earth hasn't collected my advance collection! (Incompetent and furious) (It's fake. In fact, I'm kneeling down and begging you to keep her. Wuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu) "What to do if an error is reported in the Immortal Cultivation Major" There is a Tao but a ruthless Tao. Its cultivation failed in a certain river, and its cultivation went awry in a certain Tang. What was more unfortunate was that Miao Cancan was another young and ignorant freshman who entered the ruthless Tao department of a certain Jiang sect. A certain Jiang Sect, one of the largest sects in the world of immortality, is divided into the ruthless Taoist school, the Hehuan Taoist school, the good Taoist school and the evil ghost Taoist school. Except for the Evil Ghost Dao School, which only recruits ghost cultivators, the other three major academies recruit various popular professional cultivators including sword cultivators, Gu cultivators, alchemy cultivators, and beast control cultivators. After twelve years of hard training in the cold window, Miao Cancan was excitedly asking questions on Tiandao Xhu. 'Excuse me, brothers and sisters, which major is better in Jiang Sect? ' Rt, I probably have my eye on the Miao Gu major. I heard that the Qingqing Dao department has a high promotion rate. Is this true? Anonymous answer: @ the head of the Qingqingdao department, the admissions office is here to help. Anonymous answer: Wuqingdao...? Why can't you think of a certain Jiang Zong who practices the ruthless way? You should turn left and go to a certain point next door. Anonymous answer: The admission rate of Qingqingdao Department has always been quite high, right? Don't hit me in front of me, my junior sister. Let's talk ruthlessly. We will guarantee you twenty years of transformation into a god and forty years of Mahayana. If you are lucky, you can also be guaranteed to ascend~ Anonymous answer: Junior sister, don't listen to the guy in front of you. Their ruthless Taoist school is famous for its high failure rate. Come to our Hehuan school and my sister will teach you how to play with men. Answer from the questioner: Thank you sister from the Hehuan Academy upstairs, but I have been studying in the Taishang Wangqing direction before, so I still prefer to go to the Wuqing Dao Academy. Is the Miao Gu major popular in this department? Anonymous answer: Well... If you're not afraid of bugs, it's actually okay. The Wuqingdao department has the most resources in the sect. As long as your grades are good enough, you don't have to worry about the cave secret realm, which has insufficient resources. Questioner's answer: That's great! Thank you, senior sister! Miao Cancan put away the water mirror with satisfaction. At this moment, she firmly chose Miao Gu as a major in Qingqing Dao School. She didn't realize how much she would regret it in the future. Jiang is the elder brother of the Qingqing Dao Academy who specializes in swordsmanship, and is also a direct disciple of a certain Jiang sect. He has always believed in the Supreme Being, and adheres to the concept that only by knowing can one forget one's feelings, and has taken on the important task of guiding new disciples into the sect. However, after presiding over the initiation ceremony, he received a breathtaking message from Shuijing. [Little White Snake who learns Miao Gu]: Brother, okay! [Little White Snake who learns Miao Gu]: Senior sister said that your eight-pack abs are very big and you can need (hook your fingers) Jiang's eyebrows that had not moved for a thousand years twitched calmly, but his fingers honestly sent the photo of his abs. [AAA Admissions Consultation]: Are you a new disciple this year? Miao Cancan, who was looking at Shui Jing's news, didn't realize there was anything wrong with this sentence at all, so he sold out Senior Sister Hehuan Yuan. At that time, she had just realized that she had accidentally mistook the contact key of the water mirror of the senior fellow from the Wuqing Dao Department for the contact key of the senior fellow from the Hehuan Academy who had physically helped fellow fellow disciples learn to forget love. The senior sister, sweating profusely, immediately found an uninhabited secret realm and got into it, closing the entrance to the secret realm. Before leaving, he didn't forget to leave a message for Miao Cancan. [You don't understand my sister's charm]: Junior sister, your senior sister and I have gotten into big trouble and now I have to practice in seclusion for ten years. Don't come to me before you succeed in ascension! It wasn't until Miao Cancan and Jiang Yi received their transcripts that they had failed the class and were nagged bitterly by the sect master that she realized what the sentence under the question posted on Tiandaoxhu, "There is no difference between practicing ruthless ways in a certain Jiang sect and seeking death," really meant. 2023.7.30 Copy has been archived