A Goofball Binds to a Get-Rich System in a Danmei Tragedy [Quick Transmigration]

[My new novel, I Just Want to Lie Flat on a Dating Show, is currently serializing. You're welcome to bookmark it in my author's column! Blurb below!] [This is a niche kind of novel, and the words "angst danmei" are right there in the title. If it's not your thing, please run. The author doesn't support women married to gay men. Please stop scolding me, please stop. I'll never write this kind of story again (crawls away in fear and hides).] "Heavens above! Give me some money! I want to get rich!" Then Bai Jia died before she could get anywhere, struck by a dump truck while buying grilled cold noodles by the roadside. The great Quick Transmigration Lord heard her wish and gave her another chance at life. The good news is that this System gives her endless coins to throw around. The bad news is that Bai Jia's money-throwing System doesn't quite work right. Most of the time, she only uses the first two characters of the phrase, meaning "to show off one's stupidity" rather than money. First day on the job. Bai Jia: Let's see what kind of people my mission targets are. Bai Jia: They're all freaking schemers! Short scene: After being betrayed time and again and giving their hearts to the wrong people, the male supporting characters are surrounded by people who want to break their pride and trample their sincere feelings into the dirt. Then someone appears, parting the layers of dark clouds to come to them. He says, "Your hand is so warm. I don't want to let go." She says, "Girl, you can't just grab the first guy you see when you're desperate! Aaaaaah!" Known Worlds Showbiz dating reality show: Notorious, calculating flirt of a male celebrity x kind, impossibly straight female manager (complete) "Little bro, do your fans know how clingy you are?" Wealthy CEO family: Violent, lovesick CEO and black moonlight x unlucky substitute bride in a marriage of convenience (complete) "Honey, want to try on this DK outfit?" Modern fantasy: World-weary black lotus, seductive fox-spirit male teacher x straight girl with a sunny disposition who swings a sledgehammer (coming soon) "Teacher, is this really appropriate knowledge for educating students?" --Coming Soon: I Just Want to Lie Flat on a Dating Show-- [Check out my upcoming novel, The Fierce Dating-Show Star Is My Online Boyfriend. Please bookmark it!] Overworked office drone Shen Mian transmigrates into a cannon-fodder female star who is taking part in an S-tier dating show. The original heroine is an effortless, universally loved beauty, while Shen Mian is the lowly, universally hated foil. Facing a mission on hell difficulty from the start, Shen Mian decides to give up and do nothing. While the other contestants sing and dance, showing off like peacocks, Shen Mian chooses to lie flat on the spot. At a book-presentation contest, the other contestants discuss everything from A Brief History of Time to the origins of the universe. Shen Mian, however, pulls out a book called How to Conquer Handsome Young Men. The production crew: "? Where did this scandalous thing come from?" The audience: "She's so weird. I love her. Put her on the winners' podium." Asked by the production crew what she thinks of the male contestants, Shen Mian says, "Food makes me happy. Men make me miserable." The male contestant is so flustered he can't think straight. "You're just saying that because you're angry! I don't believe you!" The production crew uses her as a marketing gimmick, thinking she'll soon get driven off the show by the hate. But she's so shameless that she attracts a crowd of equally weird fans instead. Shen Mian doesn't flop. She becomes insanely popular! Audience: "What is this? Why does she spend all day lying down?" Fans: "Shen the Sea Dog! (twists) (screams) (crawls) Even the way my toes curl against the floor is a shape that says I love you!" The production crew finds a new guest who has figured out how to handle this lazy fish and thinks she won't fall in love with him. Top-tier star: "I'll give you fifty million to pretend we're dating." The sea dog says lazily, "I don't..." Top-tier star: "A hundred million." The sea dog rolls over. "I'm in!" Music-industry mogul/investor/psychiatrist: "I admit I was too harsh with you before! Mianzi! How am I supposed to live without you?" Ao Ye, the Sea God, is a top-tier celebrity and an aloof, arrogant deity who has lived for a thousand years. But when he meets Shen Mian, he too loses his footing. At first, he's arrogant: "Our relationship is purely financial. Don't get clingy." Later, he's a miserable mess: "Sob, sob, don't just love my money. At least love me for a little while too!" --Like it, my little cutie? (holds a rose between his teeth and pins you against the wall) If you do, please bookmark it!-- [End of upcoming novel blurb] [Important Content Notes] 1. This is a romance. The male lead is a virgin. It's a lighthearted, healing, sweet and satisfying story, and I hope it brings you joy and warmth in your dull daily life. 2. The male lead is the same person throughout. He's an employee of the quick transmigration romance department who has been loaned to the danmei department. He takes on some of the danmei plot as part of a transmigrate-into-a-book setup. Please stop saying he could never like women. (The author doesn't support women married to gay men. This isn't meant to discriminate against gay men; I just despise gay men who deceive women into marriage. I have no problem with gay men in ordinary relationships!) (I mentioned this in the blurb because I keep getting criticized in the comments for supposedly supporting women married to gay men in real life. I really can't take being scolded anymore, so I'm explaining.) (Even though I've explained, please don't accuse me of discriminating against gay men, and don't make this about real life. I really am not prejudiced.) (I'm criticized whether I explain or not. I'm just writing a novel. Please stop scolding me. Transmigrating into a danmei novel is just a fictional setup. If you don't like it, you can click the X. Don't force yourself to read and then come scold me.) 3. The characters don't fake their deaths at the end of the small worlds, and there are no cases where their souls leave while their bodies remain. The story is one-on-one throughout, with no substitute for the protagonist. 4. All the small worlds in this quick transmigration novel are fictional books. The stories take place within the worlds of those books. Don't compare them to real life! Don't compare them to real life! Don't compare them to real life! 5. If you can't keep reading, click the X and leave this magical kingdom immediately. Don't force yourself. 6. We're all human, so treat one another with respect. Please don't personally attack the author! Please don't personally attack the author! Please don't personally attack the author! Theme: No matter what you go through, never give up hope of moving forward