After Becoming a Quack Doctor, I Became a Beloved Exorcist

Su Chen, a major player in the cultivation world, has transmigrated into the body of a half-baked traditional Chinese doctor at a crooked clinic. He knows nothing about diagnosis by observation, listening, questioning, or pulse-taking. Patients packed three deep are all yelling at him, cursing him for prescribing expensive, useless medicine and ripping people off! He eyes the little ghosts brazenly roaming around and sucking away people's vital energy. With a cold smile, he flicks and pinches the temple of a little boy who suddenly starts crying in the crowd, then gives him a hearty slap! Before the boy's grandmother can react, he stops crying and spits up a bunch of undigested food. He says he feels better. Watching the little ghost turn to ash, Su Chen puts on airs and says, "The child's indigestion caused a high fever. I expelled the impurities through an acupoint, and he's cured." Then he gives an old man three pats and six smacks on the back, destroying another little ghost. The old man immediately straightens up, crying with joy. "I've been hunchbacked for nearly ten years. I never thought I'd stand straight again in my lifetime!" The crowd falls silent for two seconds. "Holy crap, that's amazing!" "Who said he was a quack? He seems like a miracle worker to me!" "Doctor, can you take a look at my acne? Can it be cured fast?" "What about nearsightedness?" "Can you make me as thin as a lightning bolt in one second?" Su Chen: "Sure." He doesn't understand what these strange illnesses are, but he believes there isn't a ghost in the world he can't drive away. Even when an illness isn't caused by ghosts, a powerful cultivator can still use mystic arts to help people! Before long, he's famous, a miracle doctor with a huge following! A hugely popular internet celebrity starts livestreaming his consultations, which leads to a movie emperor paying him a fortune to be his personal physician; A financial tycoon invests in a hospital for him; A business magnate patents the pills he develops... Yin Xu, director of the Bureau of Mystical Affairs, taps a long finger, his presence intimidating as he blocks all of Su Chen's romantic prospects, jealousy dripping from every word. "No mortals allowed near him." Su Chen: "..." Is a Ghost King really suited to be the director of an agency dedicated to exorcising ghosts? A serious, socially awkward, career-focused immortal master, the bottom A sharp-tongued, flirtatious, selectively outgoing, lovesick Ghost King, the top This story is entirely fictional and set in an imaginary world. Please don't imitate it. If you get sick, seek medical attention promptly and trust science! -- Next up: Netherworld Pet Guide "The living have no way forward. The dead, enter." Lu Yang calls out to the orderly rows of cat and dog spirits behind him. The black flag in his hand glows gold as he guides them on their way. He's a netherworld pet guide, responsible for ushering pet spirits into the afterlife. Besides making sure they don't get lost and wander the human world, he also has a personal mission: helping them convey how much they'll miss their owners. And he makes sure those who died after being abused get a chance to vent their anger. After Pei Mo's dog of ten years passes away, he dreams the next night that the dog tells him it would gladly be his dog again in its next life. Pei Mo cries while hugging the dog in his dream. He touches a cold "thread" on the dog's body and gives it a tug, pulling Lu Yang out of hiding nearby. Lu Yang: "..." In all his years as an underworld official, he's never had a living person see him in a dream before. Pei Mo: "..." This guy is so handsome, but he's a dog thief! Convinced Lu Yang can bring his dog back to life, Pei Mo clings tightly to the invisible thread and threatens him, demanding he return the dog. Lu Yang: "..." "Dude, you're dreaming!" (Lu Yang calls people "dude" when he's at a loss for words.) Pei Mo: "Ha! I knew you wouldn't give my dog back that easily. Then I'll snap this thread!" Lu Yang: "Dude, you really are dreaming!" Pei Mo is furious. "Why are you so unreasonable?" Lu Yang: "..." He kicks Pei Mo out of the dream. What a pain! But after waking up, Pei Mo realizes he really was dreaming and that the handsome guy was telling the truth. Then he looks at the nearly transparent "thread" in his hand, astonished. He gives it a tug, and Lu Yang appears in front of him again. Lu Yang: "???" Has the world fallen apart? Why can the living and the dead communicate without any barriers now? Pei Mo: "Hehehe..." His dog may be gone, but getting himself a husband isn't bad either. A sweet, gentle netherworld pet guide, the bottom (adorable and great at acting cute and clingy with animals, but always gives the top a stony face) A spirit-medium with a bloodline yet to awaken, the top (a goofball CEO who's got nothing but money and good looks) -- Coming soon: The Disabled CEO's Personal City God Bodyguard Synopsis: After going long without worshippers, City God Lu Xingmian is desperate for incense offerings. He applies to be the bodyguard of a disabled CEO, figuring that once he earns some money, he can buy all the incense he wants. A green-faced demon with fangs is perched on the CEO's legs, licking away his vital essence bit by bit. How could those legs not be useless? How could that demon not be destroyed? "I'm a great fighter!" Lu Xingmian tells the grim-faced Ji Ze, who's sitting in a wheelchair. "Hire just me, Mr. Ji. It'll save you money." Then he demonstrates a few moves. The martial arts champion, sanda experts, taekwondo masters, and Shaolin monks who came to apply attack him together, only to be brutally knocked down! Ji Ze: "..." He never expected the job interview to turn into a brawl. Lu Xingmian gets the job. To keep Ji Ze safe, he has to move into the Ji family villa and be on call around the clock, providing close protection whenever necessary. That's no problem. He can do more than stick close to him. He can stick close to ghosts too. Lu Xingmian: "Mr. Ji, I'm not just good at fighting. I can also give massages. It's a family technique, and it can even get you back on your feet." Ji Ze is skeptical. Lu Xingmian: "Don't believe me? Let me touch you. Oh, I mean, let me try." Ji Ze thinks it over. He might as well try anything at this point. That very night, Lu Xingmian gives the two demons on Ji Ze's legs a thorough beating and gives Ji Ze's legs a very satisfying massage. All Ji Ze needs to do is slowly replenish his vital essence. Before long, he'll be able to stand again. But Ji Ze asks Lu Xingmian to massage him every night and never gets up. When asked, he says he still can't feel his legs at all. Yet in fact... Lu Xingmian is puzzled, until one day he finds Ji Ze walking around freely, as fast as the wind. After finishing work, Ji Ze sits down in his wheelchair and tells him to massage his legs. Lu Xingmian: "..." Fine. I'll find two demons and throw them onto your legs! Ji Ze, whose legs have gone numb again: "!" -- A sweet and gentle City God who can fight, the bottom A cold to everyone else, cowardly puppy at home, fake-disabled CEO, the top Theme: Justice is never late. Protect our home in whatever ways we can.