I Survive in the Black Organization Through Comedy

As a low-ranking member of the Black Organization, Nishioka Yumeryu has always been an infamous oddball within the group.

A member of a criminal organization who helps old ladies cross the street in broad daylight, trains hard just to make it to the cafeteria before the lunch rush, and keeps doing his own thing even when the organization's model employee, Bourbon/Scotch, points a gun at him... Everything about him gives off a weirdly goofy vibe that's completely at odds with the criminal organization.

They say that any mission with this guy will turn into a goofy comedy, no matter how serious things get, and he might even embarrass his teammates on the spot.

The real and undercover liquor agents victimized by his antics: Yeah, exactly.

Nishioka Yumeryu: Thanks for asking. I'm at the Organization, just got off a plane. The atmosphere is sunny, the pay is steady, and my coworkers are friendly. It's just that my boss, Bourbon/Scotch, is a little scary... Hey, hey, big guy, don't hit me!!

[Scene 1: Undercover agent Bourbon is investigating this outrageously bizarre member of the Organization. He follows him into a bar, where Nishioka Yumeryu is hunched over, frantically doing homework for the other underage Organization members. As he writes, he wails, "I'll never finish, I'll never finish!"

Bourbon: What was I even thinking?]

[Scene 2: An FBI ace goes undercover and painstakingly studies How to Win a Woman's Heart, determined to turn from a man of principle into a smooth-talking con artist. When the time comes to put his lessons into practice, he gently asks his target what music she likes. She promptly pulls out an erhu and gives him an immersive performance of Moon Reflected on the Second Spring.

FBI ace: ...I'm moved to tears.]

[Scene 3: The Organization's model employee decides to put this ridiculous good-for-nothing in his place. When Bourbon/Scotch corners him, the goofy member looks up with teary eyes and asks, "It's lunchtime. Could I go eat at the cafeteria first? Please, I'm begging you. This is the most important request of my life!"

Organization model employee: [Gun being loaded.jpg] I'll gladly treat you to a bullet.]

I want to live in this world and love everything in it. Nothing can hurt me, and nothing needs to. I am willing to accept every kind of life, however sad or painful it may be. I feel that only an endless succession of lives, one after another, can satisfy my desires, my vitality, my curiosity.

W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge

Warnings:

1. Updates are irregular.

2. The characters belong to the original work; any out-of-character behavior is on me.

3. I'm saving the police academy group from their tragic fates. In this goofy world, everyone gets to live happily.

4. The main focus is Detective Conan; characters from other series have cameo roles.

Theme: Save others, and find salvation for yourself.