My Green Tea Roommate Is Always Flirting With Me

Wen Xu, the campus heartthrob in the Chinese department at Zhu University, has run into a bit of trouble lately.

He's at his wits' end dealing with Lu Yuan, his roommate and persistent suitor.

To get rid of Lu Yuan, Wen Xu grits his teeth and asks Duan Chenyi, the campus heartthrob who sleeps in the bed across from his, for help.

Wen Xu expects Duan Chenyi to turn him down, but instead, Duan gives him a lazy smile and prints out a "Temporary Couple Agreement" in just five minutes.

Duan Chenyi helps Wen Xu get rid of his suitor, and Wen Xu helps Duan Chenyi fend off countless admirers.

They hit it off, signed their names, and worked together like a dream.

When Lu Yuan keeps pestering him, Duan Chenyi takes Wen Xu's hand and gives him a faint smile. "Sorry, you're too late. Xiao Xu is my boyfriend now."

When Lu Yuan comes to bring Wen Xu breakfast, Duan Chenyi spots the scallions floating in the wonton soup and tells him disdainfully, "If you're going to steal someone's sweetheart, at least pick a shovel the sweetheart likes. Amateur."

Then Duan Chenyi pulls out Wen Xu's favorite soup dumplings and soy milk from behind his back, his eyes full of tenderness.

"Eat up while it's hot, baby."

To make their act convincing, Duan Chenyi takes meticulous care of Wen Xu in every possible way.

In the middle of the night, as thunder crashes and lightning flashes, Duan Chenyi rests a hand on Wen Xu's waist.

"Scared? Want me to come sleep in your bed tonight?"

After Wen Xu twists his leg playing basketball and has trouble getting around, Duan Chenyi curls his lips into a smile.

"Darling, would you like me to help you shower?"

After Lu Yuan finally gives up and stops pursuing Wen Xu, Wen Xu takes out the agreement to thank Duan Chenyi and says their arrangement can end here.

The next moment, Duan Chenyi looks at the paper, calm as ever, and tears off the word "Temporary" stuck to the contract.

Wen Xu: ?!

Then, before Wen Xu can blink, Duan Chenyi locks the door of their empty dorm room and pins him against his own desk.

Before Wen Xu can react, Duan Chenyi grips his chin, leaving him unable to move.

Duan Chenyi's deep, pleasant voice sounds right by Wen Xu's ear.

"We signed it in black and white."

"We've kissed."

"We've slept in the same bed."

Duan Chenyi leans close and gently blows on Wen Xu's earlobe, his voice full of wounded affection.

"Are you really going to dump me, boyfriend?"

Wen Xu realizes he may have gotten himself into an even bigger mess.

Possessive, devoted, sly top x stubborn, soft-hearted, oblivious bottom

From the bottom's perspective: dating first, falling in love later. From the top's perspective: a secret crush comes true.

[Blurb saved as a screenshot on 2022.7.17]

.

Coming next: Wasn't This Supposed to Be a Marriage of Convenience? If you like it, please add it to your favorites.

When Ming Zhi, a top-tier actor at the height of his popularity, announces that he's married, the news stays on the trending list for a full day and night.

His fans wail over their beautiful, talented wife being married, then dig up the identity of his spouse.

Sheng Yuhang, the newly appointed heir to the Sheng Group.

He's ruthless and decisive, and famous for being a smiling tiger.

With his graceful manner and striking looks, he's also the ideal partner other young scions and heiresses can only dream of.

They also dig up the competition rankings Ming Zhi earned over the years, showing that the two have been neck and neck since childhood.

Someone even releases a recording from their engagement party, where Ming Zhi tells a friend with a cold snort:

"I'd rather die than fall for Sheng Yuhang. Marry him? He's the one marrying up."

Later, Ming Zhi personally responds to the marriage news: "Mr. Sheng and I don't get along. This is just a marriage of convenience."

Fans who learn the inside story: "Okay, wifey, we believe you, mwah! Can't wait for your new movie~"

.

Then one day, Sheng Yuhang is asked by the media in front of a crowd, "If you weren't in this business marriage, what would your ideal partner be like?"

Sheng Yuhang smiles faintly at the camera and is about to answer when the studio suddenly loses power.

Backstage, Ming Zhi has just pulled the circuit breaker. He grabs Sheng Yuhang by the tie, shoves him against the wall, and demands, his voice tinged with anger:

"Sheng Yuhang! I'm not dead yet, so who gave you permission to remarry?!"

Sheng Yuhang curls his lips. "I won't."

The next moment, he kisses Ming Zhi's fingertips and gently coaxes him.

"Whether we're dead or alive, you're my wife for life. All right?"

Someone secretly records the whole thing and uploads it. The video goes viral.

Everyone: ???

Wait, weren't they supposed to be in a loveless marriage of convenience?

A quick-tempered, easily riled, pampered young master bottom x a top who carries a lighter and a lint brush everywhere

1. Sweet enemies-to-lovers story, married first, in love later.

2. Long-haired bottom.

Here's a preview of another book: a full-on madness story, One-Click Check on the Protagonist's Mental State [Book Transmigration]. Coming after that. If you like it, please add it to your favorites.

Le Huiqiu is a college student with a stable mental state. One second, he's thinking: Screw eight a.m. classes! Every group assignment in the world should be given to me! I want the whole world to be destroyed!!!

The next second, a dump truck sent to do construction work at his school runs him over, and he ends up transmigrating into a melodramatic BL novel as the fake young master who's forced into a marriage alliance with an unhinged, obsessive villain and dies a horrible death.

Le Huiqiu: "..."

The world kisses me with pain, and I respond with a six.

According to the original owner's memories, the protagonist bottom has everything he could want. His only regret is that he was hit in the head as a child, and really did become mentally ill.

But here, he doesn't have early classes, group assignments, mandatory Youth University Study check-ins, or anyone sending him KFC copywriting every Thursday and asking him to Venmo them fifty yuan to prove his worth.

All he has to do is maintain his persona and avoid giving himself away. When there's nothing to do, he can sleep on his enormous, eight-hundred-square-meter bed. When something happens, he can go crazy and send the whole world flying.

Le Huiqiu: Perfect! This fulfills all my fantasies about being a young master. It'd be even better if I could get a stable government job someday~ (^з^)

.

When Le Huiqiu's identity as the fake young master is exposed, a server mocks him at a banquet. He looks shocked and wronged, drops to the floor, and rolls around crying wildly. In the chaos, he knocks over a glass of red wine, which lands right on the server's face.

At a business dinner, Le Huiqiu wolfs down three bowls of rice, and his rival quietly calls him uncouth. When the protagonist bottom hears, he starts crawling all over the floor and accidentally flips the table, wailing, "You called me names! Fine! Then nobody gets to eat!!!"

And so, with his life motto, "Instead of worrying yourself sick, go crazy and make it everyone else's problem," Le Huiqiu makes a good life for himself, and no one dares mess with him again.

.

Unfortunately, the plot still has to follow the original novel, and Le Huiqiu is forced to marry the unhinged villain. On the day of the wedding, Le Huiqiu stares pensively at the advanced calculus textbook on the villain's desk.

No way. Is this villain in the same field as me???

He leans close to the villain's ear and asks, "Bro, are you worried about failing advanced calculus too?"

The unhinged villain looks baffled. "Who do you want to die?"

This unhinged villain can take someone's life as easily as snapping his fingers. "Cancel the meeting. Send my elite assassin team to kill them!"

Le Huiqiu smiles confidently. "Don't worry. Whenever I crawl around on the floor from now on, there'll be a place for you beside me!"

.

And so, Le Huiqiu and the unhinged villain grow closer, their illnesses mutually drawn to each other.

Everything is going well, until Le Huiqiu gets tired of acting crazy and spends a few days crawling around less.

When he opens his eyes, he finds himself tied up in a basement. The unhinged villain looks at him with a dark expression and asks, "Baby, lately when you've been crawling all over the house, you haven't crawled into my room. Do you not love me anymore?"

The next moment, the villain's team of assassins kneels in a circle and reports, "Boss! We've rounded up everyone in the city named Gao Shu. Which one would you like us to deal with first?"

Le Huiqiu: ?

What the hell? Bro, you're actually serious about this?!

P.S. Their illnesses really are mutually drawn to each other. Both protagonists are mentally unwell, in every sense of the phrase.

The story has no logic, just endless floor-crawling. Pure madness, with the author letting loose.

*

The blurb for my upcoming book, As You Wish [Top Swap], is here. If you're interested, please add it to your favorites~

Lu Guiyan has had a secret crush on Shen Heng for ten years. He's watched Shen Heng cycle through countless partners and spend years playing the field, always walking away unscathed.

He thought that after earning the title of Mrs. Shen, Shen Heng would at least show him some favoritism.

But after being sent to sleep in the study countless times after their wedding, and hearing his legal husband fool around with other people in the bedroom, Lu Guiyan looks at the diamond ring on his hand and feels like his youth has been a joke.

The night he decides to divorce Shen Heng, Lu Guiyan goes alone to a bar and drinks himself senseless.

When he wakes up in a hotel, he looks at the somewhat familiar man lying beside him and nervously says the name of his high school deskmate.

"...Fu Yuan?"

.

Fu Yuan is a professor at one of China's top law schools. He has a handsome face and is known for being an efficient, no-nonsense professor with a cold expression.

But he never imagined that a simple business trip would lead him to find his high school classmate, whom he'd secretly loved for nearly ten years, in a hotel corridor.

The night before, Lu Guiyan, drunk out of his mind, had spent half the night crying in his arms and calling Shen Heng's name. Now Fu Yuan calmly looks at the other man's ring finger. The diamond ring is long gone.

He takes out a business card and gives it to Lu Guiyan. "If you need help with divorce proceedings, you can come to me anytime."

.

Shen Heng never expected to run into his ex-husband at his high school teacher's birthday party, six months after their divorce.

Lu Guiyan is dressed in a custom-made suit, confident and radiant. The insecurity and timidity that once clouded his eyes have long since disappeared.

What really catches Shen Heng's attention are the fading love bites on his fair neck, and Fu Yuan's hand around his waist, as if making a declaration of war.

For the first time in his life, Shen Heng feels a powerful sense of regret for someone he threw away.

After the party, Shen Heng arranges to meet Fu Yuan alone and smokes sullenly at their agreed-upon spot.

Five minutes later, a slender finger wearing a diamond ring gently taps the glass table in front of Shen Heng.

"Shen Heng, please put out your cigarette while you're talking to me."

"My husband doesn't like the smell of smoke."

.

Lu Guiyan has always believed no one would ever love him best.

It isn't until he reunites with Fu Yuan that he learns breaking a glass by accident isn't something he deserves to be scolded for, and he doesn't have to watch everyone else's mood before he does anything.

The youth he once dismissed as a "joke" had, it turns out, shone like a star and lit up someone else's life.

*

I don't accept any form of writing advice. There are countless stories on JJ. If you don't like this one, please find another. Thank you.

Theme: Face your true self.