[A product of my early days as a writer. I'll work hard to fix the shortcomings, so please go easy on me.]
[The entire novel has been heavily revised three times. Please make sure to read the official version on Jinjiang. I'm deeply grateful.]
[Synopsis]:
On the Star Network, the uploader Tunan updates her livestream channel with a new title: "Livestreaming the Investiture of the Gods." Countless fans sigh in dismay. The most conscientious uploader in the entire interstellar Chinese intangible cultural heritage category has finally bowed to traffic and started using clickbait titles.
But when they enter the stream, they realize something is... off.
Is the streamer actually livestreaming the Investiture of the Gods?
Well, it's the "investiture" from Investiture of the Gods.
Di Xin (Zi Shou), Ao Guang, Ao Bing, Su Daji, Lei Zhenzi, Nezha... legendary gods appear one by one, starring in an eating show.
Ao Bing, famed for his graceful bearing, has red chili oil all over his dragon claws. Without even looking up, he devours an entire vat of deluxe spicy crayfish: extra-large spicy Donghai crayfish.
The lid of Taishang Laojun's alchemy furnace opens, smoke billowing out... only to reveal honey-glazed roasted sweet potatoes inside?
And that unbelievably huge truck of a figure in the corner, eating salt-baked chicken, beggar's chicken, fried chicken, and big-plate chicken until you can't even make out the shape of a fox. Could that really be the legendary Su Daji?
Star Network users: Damn, I forgot Tunan isn't just an intangible cultural heritage uploader. She got famous for recreating Chinese cuisine! Mom, I'm starving.
*
Tunan is a master of Chinese intangible cultural heritage in the interstellar era, with countless secrets for farming and infrastructure development.
She wakes up from a nap and somehow ends up in the desolate Shang dynasty, as King Zhou's mother?
The System tells her that the only way home is to prevent the fall of the Shang dynasty.
Tunan: Forget it. Let it all fall apart. It'll be quicker to strangle King Zhou first and put Ji Fa on the throne instead.
But then a soft, fluffy little rice-ball toddles over and wraps its arms around Tunan's leg. "Mother~"
Tunan: Good heavens! Who could resist this adorable, snow-white little rice-ball? All I have to do is stop the Shang dynasty from falling, right? With all my farming and infrastructure-building secrets, surely I can save one Shang dynasty! Son, what's so good about the wine people drink these days? And what makes their meat so tasty? A pond of wine and a forest of meat are nothing. Just watch me! Braised pork, fish with pickled cabbage, spicy crayfish, hot pot, milk tea... Learn your lessons, and you can have any food you want!
Tunan originally only planned to open a little canteen and raise King Zhou as a child. But her delicious food wins the favor of little gods like Ao Bing, Jumang, and Nezha, bringing her help from countless gods she never expected...
The gods she's lured in all cry out that it's amazing: We gods have long since given up eating. How could we... Huh? Wow, this really is delicious! This is how gods are supposed to live!
When the Investiture of the Gods war begins, the gods supporting Xiqi are astonished to discover: Damn it, when did the Shang dynasty's fortune become this terrifying?
[Content warnings]:
An unserious derivative work, focused on food, livestream comments, and over-the-top praise that will make your mouth water. (Some readers have said the plot moves slowly and there's so much food it reads like a cookbook. If that bothers you, please take note.)
Lots of everyday child-rearing, with King Zhou and other little ones; a little farming and infrastructure development. There is a pairing, but very little romance.
Characters from Investiture of the Gods and the prehistoric pantheon appear. In this author's version, everyone is a foodie. Logic is dead, and out-of-character behavior is to be expected.
This is a playful take on Investiture of the Gods and the prehistoric pantheon, with countless original interpretations. Readers who care about historical accuracy, please stay away.
[The original blurb was written on 2022.3.31 and has been saved as proof.]
Theme: Good food heals, and children should be raised to grow up healthy!
Spread the flowers, spread the flowers, spread the flowers, support you!!!!!!!
α This is Alpha β This is beta γ This is gamma δ This is delta ε This is my wife's little mouth!!
? Why are there duplicates?
Hello, dear author, I am the ranch manager of □□, and I am here to inform you that your cow is dead?!!!!
Spread the flowers, spread the flowers, spread the flowers, support you!!!!!!!!
Madam, at your young age, you have the talent to rule the world and stabilize the country. Wisdom, as the ancients said, the crouching dragon and phoenix chick can unite and bring peace to the world, and today bless me Greater China, 5000 years of vicissitudes of life, the land of China was flattened with a thunderous sound The sand and rocks danced, and the sky was lost in the haze. In the haze, I saw a golden-armored god standing upright between the heaven and the earth. This hero was holding two axes, and his eyes were like lightning. When one ax fell, the chaos was beginning to open. Two axes fell, and Nuwa created human beings. Three axes fell, and the young man fell over. It is a blessing to have such a great hero, and a blessing to the people. How can it not make people cry with joy...
It turned out to be Shen Gongbao, I thought it was a parrot
Wow, what a way to talk?????!
It's been a long time, haven't there been any updates?
Hahahaha(?ω?)Hiahiahia