I'm Really Not Alcohol

The first eighteen years of Matsui Ri's life were utterly ordinary, peaceful and uneventful. She was the most average JK in the world.

But that dull, ordinary life ended after her eighteenth birthday. The world gave her a present.

From the day after her birthday, Matsui Ri could see labels describing things.

[An unremarkable silver-haired guy, but he's actually the only real liquor in the Organization. A hapless workaholic who's already starting to worry about losing his hair.]

No, give me back my cool, domineering neighbor. He would never have to worry about losing his hair.

[A bandage-wearing guy who loves life. He's reliable and gentle, and his previous job was as an executive in the Port Mafia. Surprised? Didn't see that coming?]

Matsui Ri silently stared at the bandage guy, who could easily have replaced a river ghost, and began to question her life.

As the labels' spoilers became more outrageous, Matsui Ri completely lost hope for the direction this world was headed.

Liquor Organization, can you get it together? And Yokohama, why are you crossing over into this story? Get out of here, you're in the wrong show!

[Don't bother looking, he's fake liquor. The next one is too.]

[The bandage guy's former partner, the poor bastard. He's wearing shoe lifts today. Wait, don't ask him for the link!]

After accidentally learning too much, Matsui Ri worried the balding guy next door would kill her to keep her quiet, so she promptly moved away.

[Oh wow, another bottle of fake liquor. This dark-haired guy's real name is Rei Furuya.]

Matsui Ri had just moved into her new home and gone out to look for something to eat. She stared silently at the sandwich and coffee in her hands, which had never felt so hot.

"Miss, have you just moved in? My name is Toru Amuro. I hope you'll come by my business sometime."

The words on the label started jumping around frantically. The huge letters spelling out FAKE LIQUOR jolted the drowsy Matsui Ri fully awake.

All right, Matsui Ri was setting sail tonight.

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