How a Secret Identity Expert Survives Scientifically

#What Do I Do After Getting Reincarnated Into the Novel I Wrote?! Help, Urgent!#

Wei Lai: Thanks for asking! What else can I do? Add a few more secret identities!

System: No, no, no. The real solution is to get the shippers to ship "Wei Lai" (a homophone pun). As long as there are shippers, they can ship a future! Upvote!

Secret Identity No. 1: A twisted narcissist who is actually a glass of wine

Mid (Honey Wine): He pressed a hand to Wei Lai's throat, then silently let go. Love and hatred mingled. I exist only for you. And my gold coins? You can only belong to me.

Forum shipper: This is so good! Narcissism! Yandere! So delicious!

Wei Lai: ? My secret identity wants to kill me? Why are the shippers getting into it?

Secret Identity No. 2: A combat-focused hacker with a sexual (?) streak

Fun-seeker: A slash to the left, a shot to the right, then he scoops Wei Lai up in one arm and strides away. As long as I can protect you, I'm willing to walk into the light and stop hiding in the dark web.

Shippers: Awww, long-haired beauty! So cool and badass! What do I do? This is so good, too!

Wei Lai: That question mark is way beyond my comprehension. I don't get it!

Secret Identity No. 3: Mentally fastidious XXX

XXX: ... (silently says nothing)

Shippers: !!! Beep beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep beep!

Wei Lai (horrified): What are you even saying?! Why is everything censored?! My eyes have gone dull!

You think the shippers will forget all those men from Detective Conan?

No! As if!

Unlucky guy No. 1, Hiromitsu Morofushi: Wei Lai, I don't deserve you treating me so well.

Wei Lai: ? I'm using you!

Unlucky guy No. 2, Shuichi Akai: You're clearly not that kind of person, yet you're willing to put on an act for me!

Wei Lai: ? I'm using you!

Unlucky guys No. 3 and No. 4

Wei Lai: ??? I'm really just using you! Are your rose-tinted glasses for me way too strong?

Detective Conan Men x Wei Lai Thread

1#L I'm shipping Matsuda x Wei Lai!

2#L I'm shipping Blackened Hiromitsu x Wei Lai! Blackened characters are the best!

3#L I'm shipping Blackened Rye x Wei Lai, and adding Bourbon makes it even better, heh heh heh!

4#L Crying over a rare pair, Gin x Wei Lai / Gin x Mid!

N#L I'm shipping all of the above!

N+1#L: Let's raise the banner of Wei Lai x Everyone x Wei Lai!

While everyone was happily shipping couples, Wei Lai was the only one left in shock.

What the heck is Wei Lai x Everyone x Wei Lai? And are my secret identities about to fight each other?

Secret Identity Collector x Fake Harem Protagonist?

Dark-red protagonist (red and black, both?)

Goal: Get any secret identity to survive until the final chapter!

Rescue (√)

Secret Identity Collector (√)

Identity Reveals (√)

Identity Ripping (√)

Survival (?)

------------------Content Warnings------------------

The evil secret identities are genuinely evil, with illegal and anti-humanity elements.

This does not mean the author has a twisted worldview.

The System is only used to write cards, and occasionally to draw a card (gacha?)

This story contains narcissism. Not an NP story; all the feelings are one-sided.

Please ship couples rationally in the comments. Rare pairs are welcome.

------------------2022.4.7------------------

Here's a new upcoming story, "I'm a Dad, Not a Glass of Wine"

Bound to the Premature Baby System, Wei Lai is forced to become the System's dad!

He blunders through anime worlds nonstop.

One time, he passed by and smashed an egg right into Gin's face.

Another time, he passed by and tried to scam Shuichi Akai, who was himself trying to scam someone.

Another time, he passed by and shouted, "XXX, I love you!" only for the original owner to hear him.

And then there's the time when...

Another world where only Wei Lai gets tormented is complete~~

Theme: A fake shipper's dream harem protagonist