New novel now available: My Sister-in-Law in Chinese Entertainment Starts Spilling the Tea. Click into the author's collection to save it. Mwah~
Blurb:
Ji Ning is a modern-day wage slave, barely alive.
One day, she transmigrates into a book.
The System says: You are a cannon-fodder supporting NPC in this elite dating-reality-show novel.
Ji Ning says: I am the emperor.
The System: ?
*
As everyone knows, wage slaves and laid-back elites just don't mix.
On the show, the returned-from-abroad elite guy rattles off English, French, German, Italian, and Japanese. He sits with an artsy woman, sipping coffee as they face the sea and watch the sun set. Waves crash in the background, and the atmosphere is perfect.
Wage slave Ji Ning: Chugging cup after cup of coffee. I've got one rotten life, so let's get to work!
For breakfast, the chaebol's young master and the pure, innocent beauty make a perfect pair. Sleeves rolled up, soothing music playing: you wash the vegetables, I'll chop them. The first-love vibes are off the charts.
Ji Ning: One huge flatbread wrap with everything in it. Is that enough? If not, wrap a whole pig in there too.
The show sets them a task.
The domineering CEO's partner speaks in a posh English accent: "I think we first need a plan, then set some steps, and finish it one by one."
He turns around to find Ji Ning has already planted several rows of seedlings.
Ji Ning looks at him like he's an idiot. "Are you nuts? What steps do you need to plant rice? Just stick the damn seedlings in the mud!"
"Get out of my way. Don't block me from taking first place!"
Half a month later, filming for the variety show is halfway over.
Not one couple has gotten together, and one elite after another has been exposed: fake degrees, bankrupt companies, plagiarized works. Their reputations have all come crashing down.
The one person on the show whose public persona has stayed consistent from beginning to end... is wage slave Ji Ning.
Ji Ning: Good heavens, I told you! Wage slaves like us are the purest creatures in the world!
We barely get enough sleep. How could we possibly have time to fool around?
#CareForOfficeGruntsIsEveryone'sResponsibility#
*
Bonus Scene 1
The show's icebreaker is a rapid-fire Q&A.
[Where do you live most of the time?]
"Europe."
"North America."
"South Africa."
Ji Ning: "Iceland."
Ji Ning: "The cold, cold Huludao. What's the big deal?"
[What do you like doing on weekends?]
"Deep-sea fishing."
"Traveling around the world."
"Going to Antarctica to see penguins."
Ji Ning: "Wandering around the shops, buying a 9.9-yuan X-fortune coffee, then eating a meal of additive-packed, factory-made ready meals."
No natural ingredients, only additives. Guaranteed to kill you, darling ^_^
Bonus Scene 2
During a late-night chat on the dating show, the chaebol's young master talks about his tragic upbringing. His parents divorced, leaving him only a cold, nine-digit bank balance, five office buildings, two villas, and a shopping mall. All he has left is money. How pitiful.
Poor Ji Ning glances at her bank balance and smiles.
The paternalistic CEO sits beside her, trying to take her hand. "It's cold tonight. Remember to dress warmly."
Ji Ning: "Thanks, you too. It's been getting colder lately. Remember to close the doors and windows when you sleep, and turn on the gas."
The CEO Daddy: ?
Online viewers: [Yikes...]
[What an abstract woman]
A comedy, full of memes. Don't take it as real life.
[Coming Soon: AI Can't Replace Humans, Because...]
Humans are just too inexplicable.
In this fast-developing age, even the world of novels has started pursuing efficiency, with plans to use AI systems to control characters.
Collecting data, predicting character behavior, attempting to replace them: everything goes smoothly, until a random supporting character appears in the story, the broke loser Dai Yao.
At her first variety-show appearance,
while everyone else walked in step by step,
she leaped into the air, somersaulting and waving her hands as she came in.
Livestream chat:
[?]
[What just went past?]
...Every move she made was outside the System's predictions.
*
Other moments like that included
One moment, searching: "Can people survive without eating or drinking? How can I live for seven days on ten yuan?"
The next, buying a wild Ultraman for 9.9 yuan. Let's get one and see!
Trapped in an elevator with the female lead, she lies on the floor pretending to be an electric scooter to set off the elevator alarm.
Blocked by a supporting character trying to confess, she twists her body and escapes right between his legs.
No one can catch me. I'm a nimble dog from the mountains.
She does badly on an exam, gets so embarrassed and angry that she eats her pen.
Then it turns out she ate the test paper too.
She doesn't just complain about her surroundings. She complains about the powerful, too.
After losing at a video game, she gets so mad that she crawls around on all fours in the middle of the night, barking like a dog.
She posts a question: Is it possible that I'm the reincarnation of an emperor?
System: ...As an AI, sometimes it really doesn't understand the way humans think.
Later, the System realizes that sometimes humans have no logic.
Sometimes, they don't even have a brain.
All day long, they're doing all sorts of inexplicable things.
And on top of that, she completely derails the plot...
#AlsoKnownAs: A Comprehensive Record of Human Observations#
*
Bonus Scene
Because Dai Yao is so bizarre that she keeps derailing the plot, the System decides to disguise itself as an AI assistant and enter the novel world to forcibly replace her.
On the first day the System is bound to her,
System: [Hello, I'm an AI assistant. I can answer any question. What would you like to ask me?]
Dai Yao: "What does bird poop taste like?"
System: ?
Is this right?!!!
Huh?
*Unhinged-dog-type heroine (not really)
*There is a CP, and the CP is just as unhinged as the heroine
*Getting through a chaotic life in a chaotic way, living chaotically with chaotic joy
*Just have fun, that's all!
Theme: A beautiful life must be achieved through hard work.
Livestreaming as an Animal Child Psychologist
I’m the Boss’s Biggest Headache
I Became the Villainous Stepsister of a Wealthy Family
Infinite Flow, but It’s a Kitty Playground
When the Celebrity Wives of Chinese Entertainment Start Spilling Secrets
So What If I'm Spoiled, Willful, and Rebellious?
AI Can't Replace Humans, Because...
After a Kitten Turns into a Human Baby
The Rebellious Top-Tier Star's Sister Is Back
Real Corporate Warfare: Legal, but Unhinged
After the Poor Little One Found Her Rich Dad
The Biological Mother Who Died Young in the Stepmother Novel Is Back
Once we started falling in love, I realized that this thing was extremely inappropriate. I suddenly had a vision of my husband... Only after falling in love did I realize how low a man's lower limit can be... I felt that he was simply not serious in three capital letters!
Ordinary life is the best 🌈
Pre-collection of "Passenger's Mental State Is Worrying", literature about migrant workers suffering from epilepsy, please collect it~ Copywriting: This is a world composed of multiple novels. There are ancient novels that torture the body and soul, sweet novels about a woman and a man, and urban business war novels about losers traveling through time and counterattack. And Qian Miao is the most insignificant background passer-by in all the stories. In the morning, she was Wang Ma who witnessed the male protagonist, an outlaw maniac, robbed and robbed the crazy servant Wang Ma in the ancient novel. The male protagonist went crazy and demolished the house, and she cleaned it. In the afternoon, she was part of the "Sweet Pet Wenli Passerby" atmosphere group. The male and female protagonists showed affection, and she shed tears of emotion. In the evening, I have to rush to the men's commercial channel to appear as a waitress in the article. The protagonist has his own life, and a passerby also has his life. Qian Miao thinks it's okay. She just wants to make enough money as soon as possible, and then stay away from these crazy protagonists. After working exhaustingly for three months, she didn't get even a dime, and she still owed her boss several thousand dollars. Qian Miao: laughed and punished herself with a glass of paraquat for her recklessness. She is actually stupid enough to act like a normal person in this world of psychopaths... The life of passerby A is also life. Since they are all madmen, she must be the craziest one! Qian Miao: Don't even live hahaha Insanity. Jpg After a while, Qian Miao discovered: As long as you are not afraid of death, the world is at hand. And, as long as I am crazy enough, no one else can be as crazy as me. #Qianmiao: In the novel world, everyone is insane, but I am different, I am a lunatic# #Don't mess with me. If you mess with me, I'll pull out the explosives! # Small theater. Crazy Qian Miao is full of yin and yang, retaliating, and must avenge his enemies. He cannot bear any grievance, and lives like a villain, prospering in prosperity. Instead, the three male protagonists hugged each other and cried. The male protagonist, who went crazy in the past, complained plaintively, "Not to mention robbery, she took me back as soon as I came out of the police station, and she took me back as soon as I came out... She can't even enter my own house for a month." The male protagonist of the sweet love story burst into tears, "She threatened us, saying that if we showed affection again, she would bury us two in the South Pole and the other in the North Pole. We would not be allowed to see each other for the rest of our lives. She was so scared that we didn't even dare to hold hands while walking on the road." The male protagonist of Shang Zhan was aggrieved, "If you don't want to drink, you won't drink. Why are you flipping the table? Such a large table makes me lose face..." #: Don't talk nonsense, I am an honest person who does my duty# ——Mad dog type heroine (not) ——Heartless, silly and funny humanoid heroine. ——CP background board
Crazy but simple in nature
I feel that this pair of protagonists is a bit like the love of the previous generation, which is quite rare in this impetuous era.
Although the two bickered all day long, it was quite lively. 😂
Damn, I saw an article on Zhihu that was almost exactly the same as yours. I copied almost all of your jokes and changed the name of the protagonist.
[Orange Candy] It's a wonderful and ordinary life!
[Purple sugar]kswl[Purple sugar]kswl
[Purple sugar]kswl[Purple sugar]kswl