Lotus

I have always felt that a novel that impresses people is an article with beautiful writing, ups and downs of the plot, rich characters, and a reasonable and reasonable connection between chapters. Until I saw "Lian". This article breaks my previous stereotype of judging novels. Someone has said that fate makes your encounter neither early nor late, but stuck at the right point. I'm glad I didn't read this novel two years ago when it was just finished. At that time, I didn't even know what a lily was. If I had read this article at the time, and seen Mu Sijia using the first person at the beginning to express the hardships of being a person who is not so adaptable to life, I might have immediately clicked on the "X" in the upper right corner. Young people don't know what it's like to be sad, maybe this is the state. Everyone will have a stage of growth, from a child to a real adult, not the kind of "adult" that is named by the law after 16 or 18 years of age. Maybe it's just one thing or a person, maybe it's a long experience, an unusual and strange experience, maybe even a book or a movie. Then we look in the mirror and find that once upon a time, the present continuous tense of ourselves was so strange. I don't know if other people will be like me, having a state that I will always miss, always want to keep, but somehow can never go back to. It's like the desserts you ate when you were a kid. When you grow up, you can never find the original deliciousness again. Just like when I was in elementary school, I excitedly got up on time every day and begged my parents to send me to school quickly, but now I feel bored when I see the homework books. Just like before, passers-by would rush up to act as Lei Feng when they happened to fall, but now they pass by silently and ignore them. Just like when I was a child, I longed for a carefree life where I only wanted to code words or draw pictures or fight little monsters. Now we will also tell those pedestrians who are walking on the road that we have walked but ultimately deviated from, you can't do this. Has the world changed, or have we? Time takes a breath for you, and you find that no matter good or bad, all the old memories now look like illusions in dreams. Such a strange self, the originally round face became sharper, the originally linear brain sulcus became more twists and turns, and the originally pure and clear pupils became cloudy, which are the marks left by the passage of time, carved into a bright mirror. I don't know if this kind of growth can be called "sophisticated". Most people can easily get through this period of growth. They are in tune with the loud mainstream voices in the world. Even if they don't have to think about anything or make any decisions, they can have a pretty good life as long as they move forward according to their own intentions. But the world is diverse, and at the same time there is a small group of people who are incompatible with the general tone of society. It is not that they want to think too much, but the contradiction between themselves and society makes them have to think too much, so there are more contradictions. Torment, torture is like a razor cutting on the soul, but it also withers away a lot of reality. The protagonist in this article, Mu Sijia, is also a person who is experiencing growing pains. It can be said that the entire article is also a process of her growth. At the beginning of the article, Cici revealed her pain. She was lonely and confused. Looking at the lives of the people around her, she knew she was different but she didn't know why. She had a very good friend who eventually left her. She had several boyfriends, but none of them ended well. , Is a person. The first-person narrative is very immersive. Across the electronic screen and the vast distance between reality and illusion, I seemed to be right next to Cici, watching her attend class and walk alone. Maybe there were others around her at that time, but those others couldn't drive away the shadow in her heart. So when others were troubled by love, she said it was nothing to do with herself, just break up. People need the company of others to make themselves complete, but there are some things that can only be controlled by oneself, so growth is also a process of learning to master a balance between relying on others and being independent. In my impression, she failed very much at the beginning. Regarding Tong, Mu Sijia was greedy for Tong's care, but when Tong longed for her care, she did not give corresponding care. Is it intentional? No, it's just that the young Mu Sijia didn't realize that no matter how strong a person looks, there is always a fragile side. Not everyone can touch this fragile side. Hitomi gave her the chance to touch it, but she didn't take it, so Hitomi was heartbroken at that time, and Sijia was hurt when she realized it later. As for Lian, in Mu Sijia's eyes, Lian should be a person with a relatively distant sense, just like Ailian said, you can watch from a distance but don't play with it. Lian is not as real as Hitomi. When Mu Sijia and Lian are together, there is always an insecurity that Lian will leave. This is the difference between Tong and Lian in Mu Sijia's heart. Tong always accompanies Mu Sijia, but for Lian, Mu Sijia always accompanies her. Because of the immaturity or personality differences of these three people at different times, there will always be conflicts and misunderstandings between them that seem to be a combination of circumstances but are actually caused by themselves. These contradictions and misunderstandings eventually led to their separation. They did not grasp how to make themselves happy together. But no matter what, these are my own experiences, and these experiences have been pushed together to make me who I am now. Despite the numbness and loss, in the end we can't say anything about ourselves like this, because life still has to go on, and denying the present self denies the foundation for the future. Growth is always painful, but as long as you get through it, the pain will give people stronger endurance in the face of future pain. So even though Mu Sijia lost Hitomi and Lian, she still walked on by herself. It can be said that she was smoothed by the rough reality and lost some sharp edges, but this was also for the beauty that might appear in the future. Because she subconsciously still had hope for the future, or in other words, she was not ready to leave so early, so she made certain compromises and let go of her innocence and some persistence. Life is a process of constant letting go, but letting go is also in exchange for the beauty equivalent to loss. So maybe on a quiet night, people will curl up and cry for the lost life and irretrievable memories, and when the morning light touches their bodies gently, they will still continue to work hard with the warmth of the sun. This article does not have the skillful craftsmanship of the author's other articles, there is not much foreshadowing, there are not too many ups and downs, there are no traces of souls, magical spells, bloody scenes, betrayal plots, or surly characters. It only contains a calm and real life, and the writing style that flows down smoothly like running water is mixed with deep emotions. When I read it halfway, I couldn't help myself, so I could only stop writing and adjust it before continuing. Although it may fail the author's efforts to create more exciting stories over the years, and although I know that a good author should tell a good story rather than express his own emotions, as a mere reader, I would like to say that this article indeed moved me the most. It plucked the most sensitive string in my soul and brought about the kind of sincere resonance that tortures the soul from my peers. Regardless of whether they have made great achievements or not, everyone who goes through struggles and finally continues on indifferently deserves respect commensurate with the torture they have suffered, just like Mu Sijia in this article. She is a person worth learning from. If there is such a person around me, maybe I will find a morning or afternoon when the weather is good and we have time to chat with this person and learn from her. Finally, I would like to thank Mu Sijia, and also thank the author Tuanzijun who finally completed this article after two years of polishing.

You are out of my world.

Once upon a time there were two eggs, and the chicks in the two eggs grew up at the same time. When it was time to hatch, one refused to break out and was suffocated in the eggshell. The other bravely went out, but it overestimated the heat resistance of its bare skin and was burned to death by the bright sunshine.

The world is so different from ourselves that we have to think about it. When humans think about it, God laughs. In the end, we find that sometimes it is the simple people who are the happiest.

"I heard people say that if you have someone in your heart, you won't be lonely, but I have never been able to defeat loneliness."

Reality is complete, ideal is broken

When you leave, the blue sky and white clouds

Perhaps when a person is frustrated, a sunny day is more sad than a cloudy day. When everything around him is so prosperous, the lonely and frustrated person can only hold back his tears, and then stagger around to find a way to make himself cry less unsociably.

Life is not just about love

I don't know since when cancer has become a very common disease. It affects all people, young and old.