[One Piece] A Government-Funded Romance

Q: What does it feel like to date someone on the public dime?

Some redhead: Thanks for asking. It's great. Really great.

One day, aboard a certain red-haired pirate ship on the Grand Line,

everyone was invited by the world's consciousness

to watch their own captain get rejected after confessing his feelings, for free.

Everyone: Boss, hahahahaha!

Some redhead: Thanks a lot, you @#%

What's it like to have the world's consciousness help you win her back?

The world's consciousness: She likes @#%.

I'll bring her over, so don't worry.

Go on, don't hesitate. Be bold and make your move.

Be sensible and keep her here.

Don't make me get on my knees and beg you TUT

Some redhead: By the way, why are you helping me?

Everyone: You must not be able to stand seeing the boss still single.

In response, the world's consciousness flipped them the bird.

If you lot weren't fighting and killing each other every day,

I'd be too busy managing the mess underground.

Why would I go out of my way to snatch someone for you?

Premise: Red-Hair, don't chicken out. Go for it without a second thought.