I'm Hagiwara Kenji.
When I was little, a bald monk with a birthmark on his head read my fortune with a Bible and told me I'd meet a bloody end at twenty-two.
[To live out the rest of your life in peace, you must not see anyone with a different surname, except your parents and siblings.]
"..." Do you think I haven't read Dream of the Red Chamber?
Matsuda is so irresistible, and girls are so sweet. How could I possibly "not see anyone"?
I died at twenty-two, on November 7.
Well, I didn't quite die. I "lived" as a ghost for several years.
I watched Chief Date get hit by a car and die, Matsuda get blown up, Morofushi kill himself, and Furuya become a blonde widow who looked as if she'd inherited the estate.
...In the end, I learned that this was a manga.
They didn't die because they were heroes, or because their hearts were full of fairness and justice.
They died because the author needed an [Unfading First Love].
and then I got so angry I came back to life.
Second playthrough begins.
Theme: Save the unfading first love
Hello author, after reading the three chapters you have written so far, I would like to make a bold analysis of your work. I hope you accept these two points: First, your work is published on a public platform and is for the public, so it will naturally receive different evaluations from different readers, which is reasonable. Secondly, literary criticism has its own principle, "the bad points must be said as bad and the good points as good", so it is natural for me to write about the shortcomings of your article in my book review, which is also reasonable. I sincerely hope that you will not think that I have been unfairly attacked because I wrote a mostly critical book review. Because I have a lot of things to do recently and don't have extra time to write a fully structured article for you, so I will analyze it one by one according to the order of your writing. Let's talk about the opening question first. You started the whole article with a profound philosophical question, which is okay, because the plot you derived later is indeed related to "death". It's just a pity that your explanation of this problem is too complicated and unrealistic, which makes the whole book seem to be a failure from the beginning. You wrote three parallel paragraphs in the article, but unfortunately, your writing power was insufficient, making them full of mystique and coquettishness. The text continues the painful atmosphere of youth literature and art with macro and profound philosophical issues, which makes the whole novel go up and down. The last paragraph is really eye-catching, because you actually applied Lin Daiyu's settings to Hagiwara Kenji. I'm curious, do you think these two are very similar? Do you think Hagiwara Ken Erjiao's flowers are weaker than Liu Fufeng's? Or will Kenji die of tears in the end? What is the significance of combining "Dream of Red Mansions" and "Detective Conan"? Cao Gong wrote that Daiyu cannot see her relatives and friends with other surnames so that the first man Daiyu meets is Baoyu. What is the reason why you arranged for Yan Er to not see her relatives and friends with other surnames? Is it just to catch people's attention with such a request that seems ridiculous to us today and show that you have read the third chapter of "Dream of Red Mansions"? Let's talk about it later. Your description of Hagihara Kenji's wearing and taking off protective clothing is quite detailed. For example, you wrote, "There are reinforced metal protective plates hidden in various parts of the body." Another book wrote in its chapter published on August 25, "Protective clothing is each part filled with reinforced metal protective plates to protect the body." Immediately afterwards, you wrote, "It is a huge undertaking to put on and take off, and it is impossible for one person to complete it. It weighs 40 kilograms." The book I just mentioned goes on like this, "A piece of clothing can weigh up to 40 kilograms. You must have someone to help you put it on and take it off." After that, you spent a paragraph writing about the stuffy heat inside the explosion-proof suit. The book just now used many paragraphs to describe the stuffy heat inside the explosion-proof suit. I have to say that your generalization and conversion abilities are very strong. It's just a pity that even if you modify and process other people's words, those words still do not belong to you. The descriptions of Hagiwara's bomb disposal in the following paragraphs are part of Miko's original work, so no redundant comments will be made here. The description of the six-second countdown to death is not bad, and it barely covers the opening chapter. It should be regarded as a remarkable part of these three terrible chapters. It can be seen that you want to write about the tension when death is approaching, memories of childhood problems, thoughts about death, etc. This is okay. It is a pity that your writing power is insufficient. You only wrote a dreamy feeling, but failed to write the heaviness of death. The article floated up and hung in the air, neither up nor down, and lost the sense of reality. However, considering that the type of article you write is this kind of pretentious youth pain literature, I will no longer place higher demands on you in terms of literature and aesthetics. This concludes the review of Chapter One. Because of the poor narration, superficial description of the characters and plot, and the three paragraphs of description that are almost identical to another article, I will give you -2 points. I sincerely hope that you can realize that even if you process other people's words, those words still do not belong to you. And, this is a very shameful behavior.
I have read both articles, so I won't talk about whether they were plagiarized or not. After all, it's hard to tell such a thing. But there is a question about the character. Hagiwara died because he despised him, so Matsuda was angry and beat him up. Moreover, Matsuda has endured Hagiwara's absence for so many years, which is equivalent to being a widow (not) for so long. I think it is quite reasonable to beat him up at the same time when he is reborn and sees that he is still heartless. But in the first place, Hagiwara died before Matsuda. It is more reasonable that the first time he was reborn, he had no real feelings about Matsuda's death. The second reaction was knowing that Matsuda's sacrifice was to save so many innocent people. He should be proud and distressed, instead of rushing to beat people. Matsuda beat someone because he was angry that Hagiwara didn't take him seriously. Why did Hagiwara beat Matsuda? So I think it's OOC, personal opinion. As for the two or three chapters that are highly similar, I won't comment much, but in order to avoid misunderstandings, you can pay attention when editing the article. I'm sorry that saying so much here affects everyone and the author's mood. The main reason is that some misunderstandings do need to be resolved. Finally, I wish you a happy life and smooth writing!