That Guy Is Way Too Good [Esports]

[Upcoming esports novel: What's Wrong with Having a Longer Reaction Time? Blurb at the very bottom]

(Schrodinger's homophobic top x skin-hunger-syndrome bottom. One-on-one, both sexually inexperienced, mutually doting.)

Chi Chi was one of the first full-dive game streamers on the Xingxi streaming platform, famous for his unique style of gameplay.

When other streamers teamed up with fans to play battle royale, he queued solo in squad mode and selectively ignored his fans' excited messages.

When other streamers were racking up kills, he wore a leafy green ghillie suit, lay in the grass, logged off, and declared that he would wait until the final circle, never joining the fight early.

When other streamers drove around looking for fights, he lay in the grass with an AMR and an 8x scope, watching the show and explaining how perfectly positioned he was to steal other people's kills.

"What's fun about fighting? Sitting back and letting everyone else do the work is the best."

"So what if I stole your kill? If your game sense isn't good enough, go home and practice. Don't go crying to your daddy. It won't help!"

"So what if I'm the top-ranked camper in the country? Isn't getting a chicken dinner enough?"

No matter what rumors were swirling outside, Chi Chi paid them no mind and focused on being the country's top-ranked camper.

Then one day, Chi Chi got a boyfriend with skin hunger syndrome. From then on, fans noticed that their streamer stopped being so lazy. His K/D skyrocketed, he started racking up kills on stream, and even professional players could barely hold their own against him.

What, you want to know what happened?

Chi Chi lounged in the grass and said, "I'm in love. My boyfriend is way too clingy, so I have to finish the match quickly and go comfort him. Oh, he's climbing into my full-dive pod to ask for kisses. Time to fight, time to fight. Let's wrap this up fast. I'm busy."

Fans: "..."

#Shocking: The lazy streamer we've followed for ages is actually a hopeless romantic#

#Unbelievable: Love can even cure a years-long disability#

#Trending: It turns out the fans were the real clowns#

Fans: "Go ahead and tease us, but please give us all the details about how clingy he is!"

*

Later, the country's top-ranked camper takes the professional stage for love. As trophy after trophy falls into his hands and honors pile up, people keep comparing his past and present as a gimmick for interviews.

Reporter: "What made you go from a camping streamer to the K/D king of the EPL?"

Chi Chi smiles at his captain, who is beside him, constantly making little gestures to get his attention, and takes his hand.

Chi Chi: "Love, of course."

Chi Chi lifts the hand and kisses it. "Mostly, my boyfriend is too clingy to leave me alone, so I started fighting alongside him."

Everyone present is stunned, convinced Chi Chi is talking nonsense.

Who doesn't know that Chi Chi's boyfriend is the famously cold-faced Grim Reaper among all the professional players in Elite? Clingy? Whenever anyone accidentally crosses paths with him, his gaze looks like he wants to carve the flesh off their bones.

The cold-faced Grim Reaper himself, hailed as Elite's top assault player, turns red from head to toe. He lowers his head and quietly takes Chi Chi's hand, lacing their fingers together, his heart pounding wildly.

Only after everyone else has left does he cling to Chi Chi and refuse to let go. But his skin's craving for Chi Chi doesn't fade; if anything, it grows more intense. His eyes are dewy and shy as he stammers, "I, I need a hug. I can't walk anymore."

*

A lazy top blessed by the heavens, who has everything handed to him x a powerful bottom who keeps chasing after the lazy top to feed him

One-on-one, happy ending, both sexually inexperienced, mutually doting, strong leads, younger bottom

Reader's guide:

1. The original game, PUBG Mobile, has been changed to a full-dive setting. The characters aren't based on anyone, and this is my own take on the esports scene. You don't need to play games to enjoy it. Almost everything is fictionalized.

2. This story isn't logical or a work of documentary fiction. It's not for readers who demand strict character control or extreme realism. If you drop it, there's no need to tell me.

3. The top is a rebellious young man with white hair, a walking lucky charm with a high IQ and a mischievous streak. He learns everything quickly, especially how to date. At first he's cocky as hell; later, he only acts cocky around people other than his wife.

4. The bottom is a handsome, strong, tragic captain with black hair. Outside the game, he has skin hunger syndrome and is completely unresisting when teased. He keeps his feelings restrained until they start dating, then becomes incredibly clingy. He appears in Chapter 3!

5. Neither lead is perfect, but they only have eyes for each other. From birth to death, they are each other's only partner, both physically and emotionally, and they are an absolutely perfect match. They are the official pairing, so please don't break them up or reverse their roles. Once again, I politely decline readers who are extreme fans of either role, whatever the type of extreme control.

6. They have a misunderstanding, but once it's cleared up, things get sweet (and quickly). When the top was fifteen and the bottom was sixteen, their relationship was familial, and they relied on each other; it wasn't romantic. So they won't fall madly in love right away. Every relationship develops gradually. I won't explain anything else (though even if I say I won't explain, if there's really a problem, I'll do my best to explain, sob). For any questions about the couple's feelings, see point five. The sweetness promised in the blurb comes after they start dating (important!). Later, there will be an annoying villain who turns out to be a huge help to the couple.

7. Sincere thanks to all the dear readers for your support, encouragement, comments, story potions, monthly tickets, and typo reports. Thank you for accompanying me through the difficult stretch of serialization. (Bows.)

[Upcoming novel: What's Wrong with Having a Longer Reaction Time?]

Xing Zhi is a famous, aloof, handsome genius at Slin High School. He is always top of the class and has won so many awards he's lost count. Everyone at Slin High reveres and praises him.

He has another identity, too:

In the high-ranking matches of the popular PC shooter Elite, players all know him as the silent medic and silent elimination king Koko. He's called that because no one who gets matched with him has ever seen him type a single word or speak over the mic. He lets his actions do the talking.

Xing Zhi knows nothing about this. Gaming is simply a way for him to clear his mind while he thinks through difficult problems.

He doesn't reply to messages because his reaction time is a little slow. By the time he gets around to typing, the fight in the game has already started, and it's too late.

Then one day, he keeps getting matched with the same person. This person seems to be lying in wait for him and keeps sending all kinds of bizarre messages.

--Hey, man, are you really mute?

--Why don't you type? Is it hard because you're playing with your feet?

--I don't mean anything by it. I just think you're inspiring.

--Would you be okay with adding me as a contact? I want to invite you to join my team.

--Wait, are you a girl? Don't worry, I'm really not a bad guy. I'm Ling Shi, captain of Team 666. We can video call to verify who I am.

...(99999999+ messages omitted)

Xing Zhi has never met anyone who talks so much, so incessantly.

Thanks to this person's persistence, Xing Zhi replies to someone in-game for the first time a month later.

Xing Zhi: I'm not mute.

A slow-to-react, emotionally steady, capybara-like top x a super sociable, extremely talkative, patient bottom. One-on-one, happy ending, younger bottom, each other's first love.

Theme: Let go of gain and loss, and see things through to the end.