Has Heaven's Will Finally Made It to Shore?

1. Five thousand years ago, Great Xia rose to power and unified the Nine Provinces Realm, abolishing the previous dynasty's [Fee-Based Spiritual Energy Breathing Act]. Cultivators across the land celebrated. Five thousand years later, Yan Jinglan, an ordinary, poor cultivator in the Great Xia Immortal Dynasty, was working hard to save up for his exam admission ticket. Yan Jinglan could only say, "Crows are black everywhere." On the surface, Yan Jinglan was an ordinary, poor cultivator in Great Xia. In truth, he was the companion Heavenly Dao to Ling Qianhan's Human Emperor Dao Fruit. With such an impressive identity, surely he'd have quite a grand procession, right? Yan Jinglan turned around and secretly sulked aboard a cattle-and-horse flying boat that cost three yuan per trip. . Ling Qianhan had been dead for five hundred years and had only just come back to life. He spotted Yan Jinglan. Hm? What's this? A little Heavenly Dao! Give me a kiss! Since the little Heavenly Dao had borrowed his red thread, Ling Qianhan had to undergo a tribulation of love to repay the debt. Don't ask why he was the one who lent out his red thread and yet was also the one who had to pay it back. At first, Ling Qianhan looked down on love tribulations. How foolish could someone be, not to get through one? Then came the day when the sky was clear and the breeze gentle. A blue-robed youth sat in a peach tree, smiling brightly as he gazed at Ling Qianhan with all his heart. "Senior Brother!" Those star-bright eyes held only Ling Qianhan. Peach blossoms drifted down, petals swirling and stirring the waters of his heart. Later, the Emperor Ling remarked, "I believe people have some rather biased views about love tribulations." 2. Cultivation isn't all fighting and killing. Cultivation is all about human relationships. Someone analyzed Yan Jinglan's rise to success and arrived at the conclusion above. But in reality... As the Heavenly Dao, Yan Jinglan really liked giving himself approval. Borrowing Ling Qianhan's red thread required a Heavenly Dao check to confirm the destined match? Yan Jinglan approved himself. Reaching unity between heaven and humanity while cultivating required communing with the Heavenly Dao? Yan Jinglan approved himself. A Foundation Establishment thesis needed Heavenly Dao approval? Yan Jinglan approved himself on the spot. The Heavenly Heart is my heart. There's nothing wrong with approving myself! My success is all thanks to hard work and sweat! 3. - In Great Xia, don't pick up cultivation manuals by the roadside. They might be a powerful expert's scheme, a shameless sales tactic, a despicable loan shark's trick, or an evil lackey trying to meet their quota by using you as a number. In short, it definitely won't be a fortuitous encounter. People of the modern age, times have changed. Give up your unrealistic nostalgia for ancient cultivation! - According to A Compendium of Miscellaneous Matters in Ancient Cultivation, the seventh realm of ancient cultivation is the Tribulation Transcendence stage. A struggling student asked, "What level is the Tribulation Transcendence stage?" Yan Jinglan: "Converted from the ancient system to the new one, it's equal to the peak of Qi Refining." The student suddenly understood. "Oh, the equivalent of a 3,000-yuan monthly salary." In Great Xia, the foundation in Foundation Establishment Master is the foundation of the Great Dao, and the gold in Golden Core Lord is the gold of a Great Luo Golden Immortal. If you believed what the realm names suggested, that's on you. - Cultivation is a discipline combining theory and practice. A discipline is knowledge, and knowledge costs money. So you can't cultivate without money. "What if you don't have money? Choose a Great Xia government loan! Small loans, low interest, withdraw whenever you like, and the money arrives instantly!" "But, teacher, people in ancient times clearly didn't need loans to cultivate." "If you want to cultivate without taking out a loan, go live in ancient times! They even charged people for breathing back then! What age are we living in? Why are you still cultivating the ancient way?!" [Bonus Scene] Ling Qianhan: "Let's go over this again. You approved this destined match, right?" Yan Jinglan nodded. Ling Qianhan: "So that means our marriage was destined by heaven!" Heavenly Dao Yan Jinglan: ? Yan Jinglan: "No, no, that's not right!" Ling Qianhan: "Yes, yes, it is!" Please Note: 1. One-on-one pairing, couple already set. Ling Qianhan (seme) x Yan Jinglan (uke). 2. A lighthearted, goofy, sweet cultivation comedy. =v= --- Upcoming Novel --- "The Sword Spirit Took Human Form" Blurb: They say sword cultivators are the most hopelessly straight men around. They only have eyes for their swords, living solely for them. Their swords are their wives. Until one day, Rong Ting's sword took human form. . After the Chiying Sword took human form, Rong Ting's life got a lot harder. Chiying: "Why don't you use me when you practice your sword? Why use that shoddy little demon instead!" Rong Ting: "It's just basic swordsmanship. Why use a sledgehammer to crack a nut?" Chiying: "No, no! You can only use me!" Chiying viciously snapped Rong Ting's other swords. "Don't let me catch you touching another sword!" Rong Ting: "...I wouldn't dare." Chiying: "Why do you insist on putting a scabbard on me? Is my beautiful body not good enough to show off???" Rong Ting: "Sweetheart, put your clothes on properly." At the Sword Forging Tournament. Chiying: "These people dare call themselves master swordsmiths? They're frauds trading on their reputations." The masters: "Who are you? If you're so good, why don't you do it yourself!" Rong Ting: "Listen to him. He's the expert." The master: "Oh, you're a sword spirit? Then you must be the expert." Chiying: "How could I not know how to forge swords? I'm a sword spirit!" Just pick the things I like to eat, won't that do? Chiying: I am the greatest sword in the world, so naturally I deserve the greatest sword cultivator in the world. Rong Ting: You know me. I was born to be a sword cultivator. Theme: Stay positive, look to the future, and make the most of your time.