Every Day I Mediate Between My Boyfriend and the Cat

[Please add these to your reading list: Is the Strongest Human Really Not Supposed to Coddle the Baby? and Mermaid's Fasting Day (ABO). Blurbs are at the bottom.]

A catnip spirit who'd just come down from the mountain sat, dazed, in a chair at a job fair because she wanted a free bottle of water.

The domineering CEO holds a little flower bud in his left hand and twists a thug's head in his right. He snaps, "Thirty thousand a month, with full benefits. Whoever can grow this flower properly, I'll take care of them for the rest of their life."

Bo Ziye timidly raises a hand. "I can do it QwQ, but I'm scared."

*

Dou Maobang is a high-level corporate drone in the entertainment industry. People say he's sharp-tongued and bad-tempered, and when he gets home, he has to put up with the stinky cat his grandmother left behind.

To fulfill his grandmother's dying wish, he hires a gardener.

The little gardener is good at growing flowers, but not very bright.

He likes to crouch in the dirt, his soft, fair face tilted up as he cosplays a potted plant.

When Dou Maobang catches him, he moves behind a flower, stares up with round eyes, and calls, "Mr. Dou Dou."

"I've told you, it's not Mr. Bean."

He rubs his forehead, but one day discovers that the stinky cat has gone missing.

After checking the security footage, he rushes to the servants' quarters with a cold expression.

Well, would you look at that: a full-scale cat-petting session.

He panics, he gets angry, he...

He stares at the soft belly someone has let the cats rub their faces against, leaving it dusted with fur. Damn, he wants to snuggle with the cats too.

*

#Famous Dou entrepreneur (married) attends charity gala with several mysterious scratches on his hands and face. Is this a sign of moral decay or a distortion of human nature?#

A certain award-winning actress: Tsk. What kind of man makes his wife live in the servants' quarters?

A certain popular star: I know something, but all I can say is that the boss lady dyed her hair green.

"Mr. Dou, are you suffering from domestic abuse?"

Thinking of the socially anxious little one and the four unruly cats at home, Dou Maobang replies with a stony face, "Which unethical media outlet are you from? Do you know that spreading rumors about a loving married couple is legally punishable?"

Note:

1. Same-sex marriage is legal in this setting.

2. Contains some entertainment-industry content.

3. Content warning: The bottom is adorably ditzy, with no brains (yes, literally brainless, cries easily, and is almost exactly like a baby-talk bottom in an infinite-flow story. If that's not your thing, don't read. If you open it just to insult it, that's bad form.)

Pre-release 1: Is the Strongest Human Really Not Supposed to Coddle the Baby?

Blurb:

Soft eggs are the cheapest star pets in the Federation: clingy, transparent, and floppy.

Their only flaw is that they live for just nine days.

At a Federation garbage dump, a soft egg abandoned before its time of death wiggles its round little head, unable to understand why its owner left it behind.

The garbage container is jettisoned into the interstellar wasteland. The soft egg, trapped in a holding zone, swims through the frozen air currents until it grows tired and plops onto a transparent life-support pod.

It sees a pair of ice-blue eyes, like the snow atop a mountain, breathtaking and merciless as an avalanche.

!

Such a handsome human. It decides he will be its owner for the three days it has left.

*

A861 was among the first batch of war machines developed by the Federation. With the highest win rate and most powerful firepower, he fought on the front lines for the Federation.

During medical evacuation, he was abandoned.

Wrapped from head to toe in powerful bandages, he was deliberately left with only his eyes exposed, so he could stare at the stars in solitude and die in despair from lack of oxygen.

No past in life, no one to mourn him in death.

A861 calmly waited for his vital signs to disappear, but a living creature suddenly appeared in the stars before him.

It was so fragile it was even called a soft egg, yet it stubbornly pried open a gap in the life-support pod, trying to rescue him with its pitiful, weak corrosive fluid.

At last, A861 moved a finger, signaling the idiot to gather its precious corrosive fluid at the strongest human's fingertip.

*

A861 and the soft egg were swept up by a space storm and stranded on an unknown planet. They set out to explore in search of the energy needed to get moving again.

At first, A861 thought the soft egg was fragile and annoying.

The soft egg sucked on the juice of a red fruit, found it bitter, and cried for a hug.

The soft egg nibbled a green bean, found it astringent, and hiccupped until it got petted.

One day, the soft egg disappeared.

A861 searched every place it liked to go, then finally fished it out of a purple river, nearly dead.

The dizzy, bubble-blowing soft egg gently pressed against A861's cold fingers.

Though A861 had never learned the language of star pets, he heard a sweet little voice: "Master, hic, I tried it. You can drink this river water~"

Later, the soft egg, who usually perched on its master's head, looked enviously at the pretty handkerchief in an alien granny's hands.

So much for being the strongest human. Hmph, you liar!

A861's face remains cold as the hand that can catch bullets barehanded picks up an embroidery needle.

Pre-release 2: Mermaid's Fasting Day (ABO)

[Self-inflicted, falsely gentle bottom x a sweet-on-the-outside, ruthless-underneath mermaid top who starts off as an adorable pet and later becomes fiercely doting]

Theme: Humans, animals, and plants should all live in harmony