Every Dungeon Thinks I'm a Bug

[Complete, with occasional revisions in progress]

Please add my upcoming novel, The Twelfth Street Archive, to your reading list. Blurb at the bottom.

[Tsundere, people-phobic, fake-bug big shot bottom x invincible, obnoxious, sharp-tongued observer top]

When everyone wakes up, they find enormous death countdowns hanging over their heads and are forced into a survival game.

The game is called Descent. Fail to clear it and you're dead. Rank too low and you're dead. In short, if you're weak, you're dead.

A bizarre rose manor, a zombie-infested apocalypse, a castle where terrifying vampires sleep... Everyone racks their brains, struggling to survive.

Until they discover there's an invincible prophet on their team.

The prophet is Fei Yu: ruthless, taciturn, and handsome, but a little afraid of people.

When they can't find the murderer and are at their wits' end, the prophet leans to one side and says, "It'd be great if the victim could come back to life."

The next day, the dungeon NPC who'd been lying there for centuries comes back to life.

When they're being hunted by zombies and have nowhere left to run, the prophet leans to one side and says, "There's no escape, unless the dungeon blows up."

The next day, the System announces that the dungeon is malfunctioning, and the players return to the game lobby.

Every dungeon Fei Yu visits goes haywire, earning him the title of the biggest bug in the game.

Everyone: "Big shot, please save our lives!"

Fei Yu is quite troubled by all this.

He's used to everyone staying at least a meter away from him, but that annoying System bug observer follows him around all day.

Fei Yu: "Stop following me."

Fu Ji: "It's for the safety of the dungeon."

Fei Yu: "Don't get so close. I'm afraid of people."

Fu Ji: "It's fine. Don't think of me as a person."

Fei Yu looks helplessly at his teammates. "Could you guys at least help me out?"

Everyone: "The boss takes them out with one slash. We can't beat him."

Fei Yu: "..."

Everyone thinks Fei Yu is a bug in the game, until they finally learn that the System was simply welcoming the arrival of a god in the most obsequious way possible.

1. Two powerful leads, infinite-flow, one-on-one, both virgins, not a typical power fantasy, not a long novel. Set in a spacefaring world, though that isn't a major focus; most of the story takes place inside the game.

2. The bottom is a little crazy, and the top isn't exactly normal either.

3. None of them are good people, so please don't judge them too much by real-world standards. (Bows)

4. The author's writing and logic are awful, so please go easy on me.

Upcoming novel: The Twelfth Street Archive

Overpowered, cool-headed fallen god top x unlucky, goofy bottom who wants to laze around

Chi Ran is an utterly ordinary male college student at Haishi University, majoring in computer science. His hobbies are skateboarding, gardening, and racing to get food at the cafeteria.

He also stays up past midnight, wandering around exorcising spirits for extra cash.

There's an old archive on Haishi's Twelfth Street. It handles all kinds of unsolved human mysteries and is the most inconspicuous, yet most mysterious, place in Haishi. After completing his assignments, Chi Ran always comes here to report in.

Until one dark, windy, moonless night, he and his skateboard crash into a strange procession.

A red moon overhead, a perfectly ordered procession, an ominous redwood sedan chair, and inside it, a long-haired beauty as cold as ice, whom he'd just knocked over.

Chi Ran looked at the beauty. "I'm sorry."

The beauty patted his head. "You're unlucky."

The beauty's words proved prophetic.

His computer crashed, he couldn't get a meal at the cafeteria, he nearly choked to death on water, and he almost got brained by something thrown from a high-rise... At his wits' end, Chi Ran decided to confront the beauty.

The beauty is the newly appointed Spirit Envoy and the head of the Twelfth Street Archive. He's said to be a newly awakened fallen god and an important figure who holds the fate of humanity in his hands.

Chi Ran went to see him, steeling himself.

The Spirit Envoy is cold and unfeeling. No matter how much Chi Ran wheedles and begs, he refuses to forgive the foolish mortal who offended him back then.

Unless...

"Unless you take care of me," the Spirit Envoy says decisively.

Chi Ran: "?"

The Spirit Envoy, not seeing anything odd about it, says, "I'm moving into your place tonight."

Chi Ran: "..."

Chi Ran has been troubled lately because there's an ancient relic, thousands of years old, living in his home.

The relic has a face as beautiful as frost-covered jade, but his demands are more outrageous than the last.

Want me to go to class with you? Sure, let's go together.

Want to try Crazy Thursday? Sure, I'll buy it.

Want to watch the moon from a downtown rooftop? Sure... Sure, what the heck!

After being oppressed beyond endurance, Chi Ran finally bursts out: "Spirit Envoy, I've been your sugar daddy for ages. Shouldn't you give me something in return?"

The Spirit Envoy pauses, then points to his chest. "When I find my heart, I'll give it to you."

Legend says that if a mortal receives a god's heart, all their wishes can come true.

If I have no heart to give you, then I hope I can become your wish.

[Notes]

1. Modern alternate universe, one-on-one, both virgins, happy ending. The top is a heartless fallen god, and the bottom is a college student who works part-time as an exorcist.

2. The author's writing is awful, so please go easy on me.

Theme: Study hard and keep improving every day.