The Demon Lord Told Me to Stop Picking People Up

Don't buy chapter thirty-three! If you bought it by mistake, leave a comment and I'll refund you, or find me on Weibo. [Important: The heroine's name wasn't picked carelessly. It comes from 'Green, green is your collar; my heart yearns for you,' but I thought Liu Qingqing sounded strange, so I changed it to Qingqing.] My next story will be "After Confessing to the Immortal Venerable, I Ran Away." The blurb is at the very bottom. 1: Liu Qingqing: An heir of a cultivation family. She was struck by heavenly punishment, and not one of her five spiritual roots works. Nothing like this has ever happened among the many sects of the immortal world. Having no spiritual roots is the same as being an ordinary person. This has left her illustrious father in a terrible bind. Before long, her father steals an ancient secret formula from the Hehuan Sect. It says, "Even if all five roots fail, cultivation is still possible. This technique is a closely guarded secret. Do not pass it on." When he turns to the title page, it says, "To cultivate this art, you must first..." 2: The next day, her father somehow brings her a new cultivation partner: a man who is both deaf and blind, yet breathtakingly handsome and refined. He forces them together and makes them cultivate. Her new partner refuses to go along with it, biting his lip as tears glimmer in his eyes. Liu Qingqing is a novice too, and she nervously inches closer. "Don't blame me. I'm being forced into this too." Unfortunately, her partner is deaf and blind, so he can't know what's going on. But the cultivation technique he's practicing lets him hear people's thoughts. He hears Liu Qingqing gush, "Wow, he's so handsome! I really want to touch him! He's so cool when he doesn't talk!" Feeling both embarrassed and furious, her partner bites down on her full lips. 3: With no other choice, Liu Qingqing secretly sends him away. If she doesn't reach Foundation Establishment soon, she'll die and decay like an ordinary mortal. Her father arranges another marriage for her, this time to a young and promising son of a cultivation family. Once again, he forces Liu Qingqing into marriage. At the wedding, the Demon Venerable, feared by all three realms, arrives alone. Dressed in purple, he descends upon the scene and burns ten miles of wedding finery with red lotus karmic fire before stealing the bride away. Liu Qingqing's doe-like eyes glisten as she looks at his cold, stunning face, as immaculate as an immortal's. His eyes are troubled and his heart pounds like a drum, but he pretends to be calm, speaking in an unfriendly tone: "You were the one who said we should start. What gives you the right to decide we should end things? Does this Venerable have no dignity?" [Just what kind of terrifying character did her useless father pick up for her?] [Arrogant, tsundere Demon King vs. beacon of righteousness] [Qi Refining - Foundation Establishment - Golden Core - Nascent Soul - Union - Deification - Ascension] Not a cultivation-leveling story. The plot and romance each make up half the story. The style is humorous and goofy. The heroine has her own career and grows as a person. She's not just an accessory. "After Confessing to the Immortal Venerable, I Ran Away" 1: Bian Qingxiao transmigrates into a xianxia novel as the most talented disciple in the history of the Hehuan Sect. But she chooses to become a sword cultivator instead. She reaches Qi Refining at eight, Foundation Establishment at sixteen, and becomes the youngest Golden Core cultivator in the cultivation world ten years later. Rumors spread: Bian Xiaoxiao of the Hehuan Sect was born with an evil bone, is skilled in seduction, and feeds on men's vital essence to nourish her yin and yang and increase her spiritual power. The righteous path despises her. Bian Xiaoxiao, on the run from her sect and hiding among students in the righteous path, listens to these rumors about herself. Even the melon in her hand doesn't taste sweet anymore. Bah! 2: One day, her grandmaster catches her. He thinks she's wasting her gifted, seductive nature and wants to drag her back to the sect to have her bones and cultivation crippled. Bian Xiaoxiao gets an idea and lies: "Grandmaster, your disciple has been in love with Immortal Venerable Lingyi since childhood, which is why I refuse to seduce anyone else. I'm staying among the righteous path to ensnare Immortal Venerable Lingyi. And it's already working. He's fallen deeply in love with me and can't live without me." A side door to the secret chamber swings open, and a clear, warm male voice asks, "Is that true? Why have I never heard of this?" Bian Xiaoxiao: Seriously? Why does this man look exactly like the cultivation cauldron her grandmaster threw in with her the last time he locked her in a dark room and shattered her seductive bones? 3: After accidentally confessing to the beacon of righteousness, who just so happens to overhear her, Bian Xiaoxiao panics that her demonic identity will be exposed. That very night, she packs up her bedding and runs away. After realizing he'd been fooled, Immortal Venerable Lingyi searches the entire cultivation world for the little cultivator who once brazenly lied to him and offended him. Everyone says that once she's caught, she's in for a terrible time. Later, during the war between the immortals and demons, Bian Xiaoxiao, in disguise, gets caught red-handed. She hides in a corner, trembling with a cooking pot on her head. Lingyi sneers: "Of course. Seduce someone and run away. That must be a habit of your Hehuan Sect. You really are an evil thing!" "I can't let you go out and ruin anyone else. I'm taking you home." Oh! Immortal Venerable, you're acting strange! [Fake-proper Immortal Venerable x truly shameless demonic woman] Theme: No matter who you are, there will always be someone who loves you.