The Gods and Their Chatty Online Friend

Upcoming novel: Making a Name for Myself by Taking Out My Boss! Add it from the author's page. --- Blurb --- Song Li thinks he might be the most miserable god in the world. One day, an earthquake woke him from his long slumber. He left the mountains for the first time and came to the city. With no family or friends, alone and helpless, the god tried to fit into society and support himself. He worked at a barbecue restaurant and as a server at a nightclub. Whenever he was exhausted, the god would use his busted phone to log into an app and stuff a bottle with a bunch of rambling nonsense before sending it adrift. After a while, Song Li found himself a chat buddy who also loved talking nonsense. Song Li: I'm so tired. A customer at work today kept thinking I was going to steal his stuff, so I angrily called the police. Turns out the cops found several kilos of drugs on his group. Netizen: There are so many idiots in this world. Even ghosts are smarter than them. Song Li: I'm having a little cake tonight. The police gave it to me. When I was working at the nightclub, I called the vice squad to report what was going on. They said they'd give me an award, too. The award isn't that important. The twenty thousand yuan prize money is what counts. Netizen: What kind of awful weather is this? Even my whole body of yin energy can't keep this stupid sun at bay. Song Li: I actually found five million in underworld currency today! Netizen: I'm so pissed. My underling lost five million in underworld currency today! Song Li: ...Huh? Netizen: ...What? * An optimistic god is always blessed with good luck! Some time later, Song Li appeared in a special report on an official TV station. He unexpectedly showed up on a cultural program and gave a detailed explanation of an antique. He became a huge star! But the god never forgot his original purpose, and kept sending drifting bottles to his chat buddy who loved talking nonsense: I ran into a ghost at the antique fair today. A real ghost! I caught him, and now he's crying and yelling that his boss will definitely come rescue him! Two minutes later, an impatient-looking Ghost King shoved a wad of underworld currency at Song Li, who had a strange expression on his face. "The ransom!" [Basically, it's a story about a true god and a Ghost King building a harmonious society together.] * #Reader's Guide# 1. The villains include men, women, humans, demons, and ghosts. Everything serves the plot. 2. A mixed bag. Anything might show up. 3. A warm and easygoing bottom who loves the excitement and has overwhelming combat power x a top with an equally powerful fighting ability and a terrible temper. 4. The title's "chat buddy who loves talking nonsense" is adapted from the online meme "nonsense bestie." 5. There are tons of bugs, but I'm working hard to fix them! 6. Nearing completion. Usually updates daily around 21:00. I'll post a notice if anything comes up. 7. To prevent piracy, 80% of the chapters are locked from purchase. [Posted on 2021/5/25, revised and screenshotted on 2022/7/26] --- I'll Pretend to Be Blind, He'll Pretend to Be Lame --- On the day the Lin and Xie families' arranged marriage was announced, the topic of conversation among the wealthy became: #How to Efficiently Get Rid of the Family Trash# #The Perfect Way to Turn Trash into Treasure# It all started because: The Lin family had sent a blind man into the marriage. The Xie family had sent a lame man into the marriage. A perfect match. When Lin Xu learned he was to marry the former heir of the Xie family, he remained completely calm. Even though Xie Yanqing had been in a car accident during a family power struggle two years earlier, and it was rumored that he had been disfigured, lost the use of his legs, and was so frail that even a cold could take half his life. Lin Xu: Whatever. I'm blind anyway. But when they met for the first time, Lin Xu was stunned. Holy crap! I thought he was supposed to be disfigured. How can he be so alluring even when he looks sickly? After marrying Lin Xu, Xie Yanqing didn't pay much attention to his blind spouse. Until one day, he appeared in front of Lin Xu in a state of undress, and Lin Xu's ears slowly turned red. Xie Yanqing: ? After that, he started observing Lin Xu without meaning to. Lin Xu would race downstairs at full speed to get a midnight snack, taking four steps at a time. He'd compete to be the biggest online troll, his fingers a blur over the keyboard, able to take on a thousand enemies single-handedly. He'd slip through a crowd of more than a dozen people, find his nemesis, and kick him straight into the swimming pool. Xie Yanqing: Impressive. Bonus scene: The day his nemesis got revenge, Lin Xu was leaning on a white cane while Xie Yanqing pushed a wheelchair. They were blocked off in an alley, looking utterly pathetic. Amid deafening screams, Lin Xu, eyes bloodshot, swung his white cane and beat the men senseless. He turned around. Xie Yanqing had unbuttoned his suit with one hand, kicked the wheelchair aside, and knocked two men flying. Lin Xu: ? A-a medical miracle? Theme: Building a harmonious society is everyone's responsibility.