Eli is a money-lover and the number one salesman in the universe.
After drifting through the universe for more than a decade, Eli finally returned to his home planet, Earth.
But to his surprise, in just a little over ten years, Earth had gained all sorts of superpowered heroes, villains, and mutants. Clashes over ideals and interests had sparked an underground war that had lasted for years.
The number of injuries and deaths was climbing every day, cities were in turmoil, and people were gripped by fear.
Eli spotted a business opportunity.
He decided to expand his new business to Earth.
To the beleaguered citizens of Metropolis, New York, and Gotham, he called out enthusiastically:
"Step right up, don't miss out! Get coverage for watching superheroes fight and for Joker and bald-guy encounters, with a 100% payout! Guaranteed!"
To a certain unlucky billionaire from Gotham, he made an eager pitch:
"Hey, want some Arkham escape insurance? Sign up for ten years and get a villain-reform policy for free!"
Even to a certain spider-themed hero so poor he had to mend his own suit, he wouldn't give up:
"Hey, want some pajama insurance? Only $9.90 a month!"
After all was said and done, it came down to one question:
"Hey, want to buy insurance?"
Whether they were superheroes, villains, mutants, or ordinary Earthlings, they were all potential customers for Eli.
Before long, he was raking in money, feeling both miserable and delighted as he counted until his hands went numb every day.
Then one day, he ran into a homeless man on the street.
A stubborn oddball who ignored him and refused to buy any kind of insurance, no matter how hard Eli tried to persuade him.
Eli wasn't going to take no for an answer.
He was determined to win this one!
Many years later, whenever Eli thought back to that day, he still ground his teeth in anger.
Why hadn't he bought himself alien abduction insurance back then?
Parallel-world Lord Superman top x money-loving, chatty bottom. A silly, healing story
Theme: Let everyone have dreams and a tomorrow
