Can't Find True Love Through Blind Dates

[I'm organizing the outline and writing up a backlog. I'll start posting once I have 50,000 words saved up. Two updates a week at first, then every other day once I reach 30,000 words. Please add it to your favorites!] Blurb follows:

What's it like to go on a blind date?

Thanks for the invite. I'm in the Heian era, and the System is forcing me to cuddle up to the King of Curses.

After Kamizuki Sosuke died, he got bound to a System.

The System said, “Hello, dear! Welcome to the Sweet and Heart-Pounding Romance System. Our System is dedicated to finding our single Hosts the one true love of their lives. Now, let's experience the joys of romance together!”

Kamizuki Sosuke, who had more exes than he could count on both hands, said, “Do I look like I'm short on dates?”

The System insisted those didn't count as true love. They had professional standards, and would definitely find him a true love he could spend his whole life with.

Kamizuki Sosuke didn't want to find true love. He just wanted to stay alive. But the only thing that could keep him alive was this System, so he began his search for true love.

At first, he figured that staying alive while building a fish pond on the side wasn't such a bad deal, but

“System, you there? Is this piece of human trash the true love you found for me?”

“I'm here, dear. Given your current circumstances, the System has determined that this person, who shares your diet, is very suitable as your true love. He's also an excellent cook, with the potential to become a wonderful homemaker.”

Kamizuki Sosuke looked at the man with four arms and couldn't see even the tiniest trace of homemaker potential.

Kamizuki Sosuke began to suspect the System was messing with him. After the King of Curses, each blind date was more bizarre than the last.

“Hey, System, the true love you found for me confessed yesterday, and today he's going to wipe out his entire clan and kill me too. Aren't you going to do something?” [Referring to the red-eyed, brother-obsessed rabbit]

“Are you finding true love for me, or making me provide psychological counseling for kids?” [Referring to the squinty-eyed fox whose corruption level is skyrocketing]

“I was going to praise you for finally finding me a cheerful, upbeat kid this time, but why didn't you tell me that creepy thing was living inside him too?” [Referring to the pink-haired boy with a mouth growing on his face]

“System, you there? The true love you found for me says he wants to fall in love with a country.” [Referring to a certain dark-skinned undercover agent]

A520, a blind-date System, felt that its career was facing a major crisis.

Every time, its Host got along really well with the blind date it arranged. The lovey-dovey behavior was enough to choke an AI to death on all the public displays of affection. Every time, it thought this was the Host's true love, but for some reason... these people always had to cause some kind of trouble in the end, while the Host didn't seem to miss them at all after breaking up!

After a few tries, A520 gave up on one-on-one blind dates and decided to send in several potential matches at once for the Host to develop relationships with.

It just hadn't guessed... that the Host would build a whole fish pond.

To avoid unlocking the confinement-room side route, A520 was still crying as it stuffed skills into its Host today.

Everyone else thought Kamizuki Sosuke was genuinely dating them.

Only Kamizuki Sosuke knew he was putting on an act.

If his dates were willing to behave and not cause trouble, Kamizuki Sosuke was happy to act like he was deeply devoted and put on a show for the System. But these people just couldn't help hopping around a little.

And after a few hops, they got kicked out of the pond.

Everyone flirts with everyone. Hey! No one's getting married. We're just having fun!

Warnings:

1. Main character is the attacker. The male lead is clear-eyed and a walking fish-pond owner.

2. The CP isn't decided yet, so choose your investment carefully.

3. The male lead is completely devoted while they're together. After a breakup, he cuts ties at once, turns around, and never looks back.

4. If you insist on all characters being pure, this isn't for you! It only gets worse. Before binding to the System, the male lead was already a veteran playboy and master of keeping everyone happy.

5. The golden finger is ridiculously powerful. The male lead is at the ceiling of combat strength; if he couldn't fight, he'd have been locked away long ago. OOC is definitely present, and the story is full of headcanons that overturn the original plot's character deaths.

No matter the reason, don't be a killjoy. This story has no logic to speak of, and runs entirely on the word “satisfying,” so enter at your own risk.

Screenshot saved on 2021/5/12

Theme: Love should be grounded in reality.