The emperor and empress had been married for several years, and their love for each other was so deep that everyone envied them.
One day, the empress had a dream.
She dreamed of how later historians would record the many romantic escapades of the man who shared her bed.
He would favor his concubines and neglect his wife, hold a grand selection of consorts, tour Jiangnan, and bring a whole harem of beauties back with him.
And she would become a deposed empress.
The empress woke with a start, overcome with grief, and kicked the dog emperor right out of bed.
Then she moved into the Cold Palace.
*
Though he had no idea what was going on, the emperor decided he must be at fault.
So he went to find his wife and cuddle up to her.
But the empress's palace doors were tightly shut. Her head maid stood outside with her head bowed and reported:
"Her Majesty says she wants to devote herself to Buddha and spend the rest of her life in solitude."
The emperor: "?????"
Just listen to that. A woman who can eat an entire sheep in one meal says she wants to become a nun.
*
As expected, her attempt to enter the Buddhist faith ended in failure.
Watching the empress gnaw on a pig's trotter, the emperor brought up the old ministers' advice that he choose new consorts.
He had expected to find his wife red-eyed with jealousy, making a scene.
Instead, she wiped her mouth and said solemnly, "Matters of state are not for me to meddle in. I only ask that Your Majesty not send me to the Cold Palace once I grow old and lose my looks."
The emperor: "..."
I reasonably suspect you don't love me anymore.
*
The emperor still tried to look on the bright side.
Perhaps the empress was just in a bad mood because of the heat.
So he suggested, "Why don't we take a trip to Jiangnan?"
To his surprise, the empress gave a cold laugh. "Your Majesty wants to tour Jiangnan in search of beauties. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to come along, would it?"
The emperor: "..."
Unable to take it any longer, the emperor pinched her chubby cheeks and pinned her to the dragon throne.
"What's gotten into you? You'd better explain it to me, or else..."
I'll get down on my knees and beg you, QAQ.
[A food-loving empress who mistakes a novel from the future for official history]
[An emperor who has no idea what he did wrong and can only try his best to make things right]
[A little sweet treat with no plans to make you cry]
Yun Bugu: I swear I'll update, coo-coo.
Theme: Love requires mutual trust
