[Mainly Bungo Stray Dogs] The Mafia's Lolicons

Sariel is a humanoid anomaly who reads as safe and writes as Keter. She not only hoodwinked the people at the [REDACTED] Foundation, but also made off with their stuff and ran to another world.

Soft and sweet on the outside, calculating and controlling on the inside, she also has a hoarding habit.

On her very first day, she picked a fight with the King of Sheep and then joined the Port Mafia. A year later, she teamed up with the black-mud Dazai and turned a certain King of Sheep into a hat rack.

Now, let's interview the people fooled by her looks.

A certain Mafia underling: Waaaah, Miss Sariel is so adorable! (Cheers wildly)

A certain Mafia big sister: Sariel-chan is so sweet and well-behaved. Ah, I worry she might get bullied when she's out and about.

A certain human-form Moon Beast: How could someone as adorable as Miss Sariel possibly be a bad person?!

A certain Armed Detective Agency president: The Mafia are absolutely depraved. They don't even spare such an innocent, cute, naive little girl!

A member of a certain organization: Exactly! The higher-ups are all lolicons. They actually prey on little girls. Scum!

Mori, whose reputation is being dragged through the mud, Dazai, who's facing a shameless flirt, and the gravity user who's always getting scammed: ???

If you people had even a little common sense, things wouldn't have come to this!

The Mafia are all rotten to the core, except Chuuya!

At last, let's hear from our one and only decent person.

A certain gravity user (three emphatic denials): I'm not a pervert! I'm not a lolicon! Don't make things up! [Slams table JPG]

#My lover likes pretending to be a little girl. What can I do? I'm at my wits' end!#

#The heart rules the world, while conscience suffers#

#Dazai says this is really messed up#

The heroine is based on a character from the [REDACTED] Foundation. I couldn't find an adult [REDACTED] girl who was still shorter than Chuuya, so I made one up. You can look up the numbers for everyone except the heroine on the Foundation's official website.

This is mainly a lighthearted, everyday-life story. There is no high-IQ Dazai, only Dazai who's lost his mind. The author's intelligence sets the upper limit for the heart's schemes. I've been single since birth, so don't expect sweet romantic daily life. Love triangle warning.

The CP will probably be the hat rack, unless something unexpected happens. A man with five As in his name is too much for the heart to handle.

Of course, the literary greats belong to Kafka, and any OOC is on me.

Theme: Wreaking havoc on the Arahabaki and the black-mud demon