A Lecherous Tyrant

Di Xin, personal name Shou, was known to history as King Zhou. King Zhou loved beautiful women, but unfortunately, while his father was alive, he repeatedly forbade his son from getting close to them, warning that lust for beauty would bring about the fall of the kingdom. After his father died, King Zhou wanted to hold a grand selection of beauties from across the realm to fill his palace. But the horrifying image of his father on his deathbed kept appearing in his mind, frightening him into behaving himself. That is, until the day he went to the Nüwa Temple to offer incense. Unable to restrain himself, he wrote a saucy little poem. - Acting on Nüwa's orders, the Nine-Tailed Fox was to seduce the ruler of Shang and bring chaos to the dynasty. It seemed like an easy task. King Zhou was lecherous, after all, and he could barely stand after laying eyes on her. But after a while, the Nine-Tailed Fox realized that this foolish ruler could barely stand whenever he saw any beauty at all. Even when he saw Jiang Ziya, he went up and touched the man's hand, asking softly, "Heavenly Master, do you have time to give me a lesson today?" Nine-Tailed Fox: ... That night, the Nine-Tailed Fox asked King Zhou tenderly, "Does Your Majesty like Daji?" King Zhou, blushing slightly: "I do." The Nine-Tailed Fox added, "Then send that old Taoist with the ox nose away." King Zhou, hesitating: "But I like the Heavenly Master, too." Nine-Tailed Fox: ... This foolish ruler is asking for death! King Zhou, deeply worried: "Am I really the only emperor in the world who falls for every beauty he sees?" Warnings: 1. The characters are wildly out of character. My apologies to history and the original work. 2. Includes gender-swapping. 3. King Zhou is a universally adored uke. 4. The story is full of beautiful people. 5. Aside from his face, the uke has nothing going for him. He's extremely sleazy, has practically no intelligence, and is the most useless character in the story. Even compost wouldn't want him. Read with a critical eye at all times. 6. The uke isn't a player. He just wants to give all the beauties a warm home (yeah, right). [The blurb's original joke was captured in a Weibo screenshot on January 11, 2021] Theme: Abstinence from worldly desires is one of the secrets to a long life.