The Warbler

I read this novel a few years ago, and now I have a new understanding, which is even sadder than when I first read it (the following is only my personal understanding, I reserve my opinion): Zhao Qingchi is definitely a pitiful and pathetic person, but he is not absolutely hateful. He originally grew up in a spiritual temple. He was young and ignorant, innocent and flawless. In a simple life of chanting sutras and praying every day, he might still have some compassion and benevolence, and he could only do what he wanted. But since the master-disciple union, sexual intercourse and coercion have caused double damage to his heart and body, and he feels that he is filthy. A young man died on his behalf, cursed them viciously, and sank into the lake. The scene of the lake became his nightmare. As a result, he who was originally flawless and ignorant became sharp, wanton, violent, and indifferent. In fact, he felt sorry for himself inside. When he was young and ignorant, he sought a sense of security, protected himself, and escaped reality by venting his grievances. Later, after being spotted by the debauched and unscrupulous king, he indulged in desire to numb himself, escaping the torture of his own heart for the sins of this world. Being accused by thousands of people, he felt that he was a sycophant, a traitor, a disaster, a sinner, and should not exist in the world. He uses arrogant behavior to disguise himself, hurts others, and indulges in desires in order to numb himself and escape the cruel reality. In fact, he hurts himself more bloody, making himself feel more self-pity, self-destruction, and self-abandonment. Especially when the three generations of kings, the king, the new king, and Sima Yanling, imprisoned him in the deep palace, and indulged in the so-called lust and love, making others and himself think that he was a scourge that confused the king, and it deepened the idea that he should not exist in the world. Even the only person he loved, Sima Yanling, thought that he was confusing, despicable and vicious, which was no different from other people's opinions. In fact, judging from Zhao Qingchi's external behavior, this was indeed the case. Their conversations always broke up unhappily. Sima Yanling mocked Zhao Qingchi without any modification, as if Zhao Qingchi was persistent in evil, unforgivable and committed all kinds of bad things. Zhao Qingchi also always mocked himself or mocked Sima Yanling in order to hurt Sima Yanling. Zhao Qingzhi didn't want to always be like this, but his years of pretense and escaping from reality made him unable to control himself. However, in the eyes of others, this is enjoying pleasure and torturing others. No one has really peeled off the layers of shackles Zhao Qingzhi had on himself to understand his already riddled heart and painful and pale soul. Including Sima Yanling. He is a complete madman and has been crazy since the day he was forced by his master. Therefore, he always seems irrational, absurd, dissolute, and fearless. However, no matter how crazy he behaves, he cannot hide his loneliness and desolation. He was tortured every night in his dreams and laughed at himself every day. He felt that he had committed a lot of sins, that he was the source of other people's pain, that he had implicated Sima Yanling, that they should not have met, that their fate was evil, that he was buried in the lake as his fate, and that he should not live in this world. In fact, many of the things that made him feel dirty were not his fault, but were something he had no choice but to do, such as being raped and having others die on his behalf, or being called into the palace to serve the king. But it turned out to be a blazing fire and a torture rack, burning his broken soul while propping up his beautiful and beautiful body. It made him feel miserable deep inside and at the same time made others think that he was enjoying himself wantonly. Later, someone finally pointed out the fact that he was still pure white, but it was too late. Being implicated by him, Sima Yanling died. He could no longer forgive himself. He fell into the sin in his heart and had made it clear that he would die and could not escape. The third young master who told him that Bai was still Bai when he was stuck in the mud became the last person he implicated. He felt sad that he would hurt others when he died, but he insisted on dying and embarked on what he thought was his destined path - sinking into the lake. If this had been the case a long time ago, there would not have been a series of hatred and pain caused by misplacement, and he would not have to bear the blame. Zhao Qingchi had already fallen into paranoia. Imagine that a pure and ignorant young man from the temple was suddenly burdened with a human life. He encountered curses and comments from courtiers or ill-intentioned flattery from eunuchs. He had deeply believed that he was filthy and might even have low self-esteem. Moreover, it seemed that men falling in love was not tolerated by the world. So he felt that he could not have a love that everyone envied with Sima Yanling, so he desperately vented his search for a sense of security, which eventually pushed the two away. Even if they end up together, Zhao Qingchi will be in panic all day long and will eventually break up. Moreover, there were many shackles, and two people could not be together just by communicating regularly. He could not give up the life he was burdened with, his dirty body, the infamy of his sycophant, Sima Yanling's struggle for the position of Prime Minister and the price of escape for elopement, and go to the ends of the earth with Sima Yanling to become husband and wife. If Zhao Qingzhi really indulges his desires, is selfish and indifferent, does not care about other people's opinions, and only cares about his own happiness, then he will not care at all whether a young man dies for him, whether he serves the emperor with sex, whether he becomes a dissolute man and elopes with Sima Yanling to be husband and wife for the rest of his life. What's more, he plans to rebel with Sima Yanling to gain power in the world and become the male queen. It was his deep love and paranoid low self-esteem that made the two fall in love but hate each other. I have suffered all the sufferings of being a human being in this life, and I am not worthy of being in this world. I only hope that in the next life I will be transformed into flowers, butterflies, insects, fish, birds and beasts, without wisdom, without being contaminated by human love, and happy and wanton. No one offered him redemption. They all saw Zhao Qingchi's absurd, vicious and happy body, but not his scarred soul. It is said that he is worthy of white, and that he has a special temperament, but almost no one feels that this is the embodiment of his innermost pure white. Even Sima Yanling, who loves him most and sacrifices her life for him, feels that he is dark and vicious. Only the third young master who sent him to die and ended his life saw that he was worthy of Bai Bai. How ironic this setting is. In the end, Zhao Qingchi has two beautiful memories, one is the first meeting of the young boy Wu Xia and the oath in the temple; the other is the love, compassion, soft words and care of the new king after he fell into filth. However, it was eventually explained by Zhao Qingchi as a misunderstanding and an illusion. Maybe it's because of lust and greed for skin. He has been tortured. Unbearable to be human again.

I don't understand. They have many ways to do it.

"If you see me with form and seek me with sound, you will follow the wrong path and cannot see the Tathagata." The Buddha said that one cannot be blinded by worldly desires and appearances. Everyone only knows that Zhao Qingzhi is sharp and violent, thinking that he is a good skin for the three generations of kings to play with; but who knows that he is actually just a haggard man who has spent his years and paralyzes himself with the mask all day long. So when someone pointed out his innocence, he chuckled and asked the person to take him away, boarded a broken bamboo raft, and drowned in the lake that lured him to death. I think this is a good ending

The situation was caused by two people together. After Zhao was violated, he felt that he was filthy, which must have caused him to have a lot of inferiority and self-abasement. Sima, the boss of the Prime Minister's Mansion, did not give him a specific promise. Should he marry or not? It is understandable that misunderstandings arise due to lack of security, but Zhao and Sima were not honest enough. Zhao misunderstood that Sima didn't like him, and Sima also thought that it was Zhao who was greedy for power and enjoyment. In fact, Zhao was just looking for a sense of security. Sometimes Zhao would deliberately do some actions to irritate Sima, such as confronting him. However, when he saw that Sima did not respond to his words after marriage, he was disappointed and sad, indicating that he hoped that Sima loved him and cared about him. Zhao actually knew that Sima probably liked him after he was drunk, but he also believed that he was being used by Sima and that fate was blocking him. There was nothing he could do if the two were not together, so if he did not make some efforts to save the relationship between the two, it can be seen that Zhao had a self-destructive tendency in his heart and had a strong negative color. It was only after Sima's death that he truly gave up and became a wandering warbler. Therefore, if there is a problem, both parties must communicate well. You cannot do nothing, otherwise it will be ruined!

I actually watched it ten years ago... I probably didn't cry back then, but I shed tears when I rewatched it today, remembering the time when you and I first met in the temple. I know that he has been missed in my hands all his life.

It's actually a text from 2002

Although I have only loved one person, how could this incomprehensible love not make me despair?

I watched it when I was in junior high school and am now in college. The phrases "Several times the birds sing and the swallows dance" and "My Sima" have stuck in my mind for a long time.

It didn't torture me, it felt very similar to an idea I had many years ago. But the writing is very good, enough to create a luxurious, beautiful but sad environment and atmosphere in the book, and also vividly express Zhao Qingchi's inner world.

At first, I didn't think much of it, and I even didn't understand a lot of things. But after I saw an extra chapter on Baidu, I felt that Sima was really blind. After reading the extra story, I thought about it carefully. While Sima was working hard on this relationship, what was Zhao Qingchi doing? He is complaining! He is hating his fate and accepting his fate! I thought about it carefully, and he didn't make any effort in this relationship! His experience was pitiable, so he simply indulged himself in his depravity, didn't work hard, let others suffer with him when things didn't go his way, and let his subordinates live in fear in the Prime Minister's Mansion! Why did he let Sima accompany him to be tortured in the palace? Isn't it Sima's guilt and feelings! Maybe Zhao entered the palace because of Sima, and Zhao was innocent, but this does not become an excuse for his inaction. Love is a matter between two people, not to mention that Sima's original intention was not like this. There are so many unfortunate people in the world! You don't have to accept your fate and struggle to live a good life. Since you feel that your fate cannot be changed, you should either give up completely or die. Otherwise, stand up and try to change. However, from the article, I did not see the slightest effort from this person, not even trying. He was always indulging himself in drunkenness and dreaming, and dragging Sima to suffer. At least Sima was still making efforts after making a mistake, trying to save the situation. But when you meet such a teammate, what will happen under such circumstances? While saying, look, this is fate, don't live this kind of life in the next life, but life is made by people, how will you know if it doesn't work if you don't try! What a waste