I Am but a Mortal

"So you don't even trust your wife?" The gentleman looked somewhat uneasy and didn't answer directly. "I don't even trust myself. I mean, I can't believe in myself, so I can't believe in anyone else either. There's nothing I can do but curse myself." -- Natsume Soseki, Kokoro I know perfectly well that I'm mediocre, cowardly, selfish, and stupid. I have every flaw that people in this world possess. And yet, sometimes, I still want to look outside through the tiny window set high in the wall. Perhaps there will be Kawazu cherry blossoms, perhaps there will be homes lit by lamplight, or perhaps there will be nothing at all. I want to believe. I want to be one of the "people" and live as an "ordinary person," experiencing all kinds of things, beautiful and ugly alike. Unable to believe in myself, I deceive myself. Unable to believe in others, I deceive them. For someone like me, there really is nothing else to do but curse myself, is there? If that's the case, then what was I born for? P.S. Mostly first-person narration, with some third-person descriptions and other characters' perspectives. Mainly Blue Exorcist. The style is niche, so if it's not for you, just click away. Theme: The boundary between "ordinary people" and "gods and Buddhas"