A Legitimate Online Romance, with Receipts to Prove It

Chu Lu is forcibly taken by the state and brought to a villa.

The state: "Would you consider a government job with a permanent position?"

The state: "Nine to five, a monthly salary of 100,000, five social insurance programs and a housing fund, meals and lodging included..."

Chu Lu immediately says, "I can start tomorrow. What's the job?"

The state: "It's simple. Legal online dating."

Chu Lu: Huh? Legal online dating?!

*

On his first day at work, Chu Lu adds his first match, [01], and starts an awkward conversation.

[Lu Lu Isn't Cute]: Hi, I'm Lu Lu. Want to be friends?

[01]: Send me a revealing pic.

Chu Lu is horrified and rushes to tell his supervisor that [01] is a creep who immediately wants to see a dirty picture!

His supervisor calmly explains that [01] is a skeleton, and that making friends means looking at the other person's bones.

Chu Lu: My match is a skeleton?!

Chu Lu eventually edits a picture of a skeleton and sends it over.

So what if it's a skeleton? Online dating across a screen is just chatting. What's there to be afraid of?

In the second month, Chu Lu feels like an old hand when he meets [02]. Even though he's lost some of his memories, that doesn't matter.

[Lu Lu Isn't Cute]: Hi, I'm Lu Lu. Want to be friends?

[02]: How much for one night?

Lu Lu is horrified again, but his supervisor tells him to stay calm. [02] is a vampire, and making friends means keeping them company while they sleep.

Chu Lu is silent for a moment, then boldly types 5,000.

[02]: Transferred 5,000 yuan.

Chu Lu: If you dare send it, I dare take it!

The first time is awkward, the second time is easy. Online dating across a screen isn't scary at all!

*

From [01] to [07], every one of his online relationships goes wonderfully, and each one ends perfectly.

Or so Chu Lu thinks.

When his memories return, he suddenly remembers that [01] through [07] really did become his partners.

The good news: it's legal online dating, and he had seven partners in all.

The bad news:

While he was suffering from amnesia, he not only dated them online, but each one crossed worlds and time to meet him in person.

Now they're all on their way here.

Meow Paw's warnings:

1. Do not read if you are afraid of "butterflies."

2. The bottom and top are both flawed characters, but they are each other's only partners. The top has dissociative personality fragments, and [01] through [07] are all the top.

3. Meow writes stream-of-consciousness stories with wild premises, a simple writing style, and logic that only needs to make sense within the story.

4. The setting is fictional, with a wide range of elements, diverse side characters, and lots of original worldbuilding.

5. Enjoy the story. If it's not for you, please click away. Thank you for your cooperation!

*Meow's upcoming novel: Succubus Constitution, but a Straight Guy. Read the blurb below, and visit Meow's author page:

Lin Dai has the perfect face of a succubus, with an innate ability to charm anyone, but he's straight and has never used it.

After he dies, he follows the normal procedure and waits to be reincarnated. Then the underworld's reincarnation System suddenly gets a version update.

The latest reincarnation rules can be summed up in one sentence:

[Hey there! You need to book an appointment for your next life, and then compete for a slot!]

Lin Dai looks at the million male and female ghosts online: "..."

Book first, then compete for a slot? What a hassle.

After a long silence, he touches his face and suddenly has a brilliant idea. He decides to speedrun his way to a reincarnation slot in one life.

In the end, Lin Dai blazes a new trail, throws away his principles, and uses his beauty to trick male ghosts.

1. While fighting for an appointment, Lin Dai wears a pretty dress and presents himself as a sensitive, brokenhearted, weepy intersex man.

Honest Victim Number One: "Are you really intersex?"

Lin Dai cries like a flower in the rain. "Bro, don't you believe me? I just want to be a real man in my next life."

Lin Dai: "If I can't be a man, I'll have to book a slot to become a woman in my next life. You've been so good to me, Bro, and I'd be willing to marry you."

Number One believes him. Not only is he cheated out of his appointment, but at the last moment he's also forced to look up Lin Dai's skirt.

Lin Dai: I may be intersex now and a woman in my next life, and I may promise to marry you, but I'm straight, and what's under my skirt is bigger than yours!

2. While fighting for a reincarnation slot, Lin Dai turns into a pitiful, lovesick succubus who was abandoned by his lover.

Cool, shrewd Victim Number Two: "Did you really die for love?"

Lin Dai: "Yes. Please, I'm begging you. I heard that if you get a high-ranking reincarnation slot, you can keep some of your memories."

Lin Dai hesitates, then continues: "I just want to ask him to his face why he broke his promise! As for you, after we settle things in our next lives, I'll miss you..."

Number Two believes him too. But as soon as the slot is exchanged, the little succubus who promised to remember him and reunite with him in their next life kicks him out of the group, then mocks him.

Lin Dai: I'm straight, and I don't have a lover. I only love myself. Bye!

3. "What's wrong with pretending to be a succubus to get reincarnated?"

If you don't work hard to be reborn now, you'll only regret it in your next life.

Lin Dai has always firmly believed that he's done nothing wrong.

Even when he gets pursued by countless perverted, obsessive ghosts and ends up tricking the King of Hell himself.

He stays true to his intentions, refuses to repent, and insists to the bitter end that he's straight and only pretended to be a succubus by temporarily tossing aside his principles for the sake of his next life.

Until his victims come looking for him to make him pay.

At last, the wicked little straight-guy liar stops talking tough and bursts into tears.

*Read Meow Paw's completed novel: Beautiful Man, Borrowed by the Whole Internet

Theme: In the rivers of time in parallel worlds, never forget your original intentions and always stay true to yourself.