Dad, When Are We Going to Lay Down Our Butcher's Knives?

Five-year-old Yu Tongtong transmigrates! She becomes the sixth young miss of the Chancellor's residence, who used to be a silly, unpopular girl, and discovers that her little nose has started acting strangely. The wet nurse smells bad, and the steward smells really, really bad. Are all the adults in the Chancellor's residence pickled herring cans in human form? But she's the only one who can smell it! Transmigrating gave her a dad, and the little orphan is overjoyed. Every day, she follows behind him like a little tail. But... "Daddy's so nice. Why are you calling him names?" "Your dad's a corrupt official!" "No, he's not!" "Yes, he is!" The soft, squishy little dumpling gets so mad whenever people insult her dad that she stomps her feet and pounds her chest, bouncing around as she shouts, "You can insult me all you want, I'm not scared! I'm going home to find my dad!" The Chancellor of Yu hugs his daughter with one arm and holds a saber in the other. "You little brats are the ones picking on my precious girl? Let's see, which one of you should I butcher first?" Later, the little dumpling grows up all wrong, raised by her infamous villain of a father into a wicked young woman with a terrible reputation. Then the whole Yu family is sentenced to execution, a verdict the entire nation should be celebrating. But on the eve of the execution, the rescue party causes the worst traffic jam the capital has seen in a hundred years. The kind and gentle First Prince rushes over! The brilliant and dazzling Third Prince rushes over! The grown children of loyal ministers and famed generals, who were rumored to have been killed, arrive to join them. "We've come to repay our debt!" The handsome young monk of An Guo Temple, revered for his virtue, says, "This humble monk has been ordered to subdue the demon... subdue, take you into my heart, and return to secular life at once." Everyone shouts, "Stop plotting this kind of nonsense!!! We agreed to compete fairly!!!" P.S. 1. The heroine's father has been ordered to play the role of a treacherous chancellor, so he will seem very much like a bad guy at first, and almost loses himself in the role. 2. No romance until the little one grows up. Every young boy is just a sweet little big brother. New novel, please add it to your wish list: A Sprig of Green Tea Reaches Over the Wall Yuan Ning transmigrates into an old-fashioned, melodramatic palace-romance novel as the green tea villainess. Her sole purpose is to be brought in by the emperor to take the arrows meant for the real heroine. In other words, she's cannon fodder! The dog emperor has two faces. In public, he pretends to dote exclusively on Yuan Ning, making her the enemy of the entire imperial harem. But in secret, he keeps his precious sweetheart hidden away! While Yuan Ning and the other consorts fight to the death, the dog emperor is cooing sweet nothings to his beloved heroine. When the original Yuan Ning dies, heartbroken and despairing, the emperor finally finishes his tragic love story with the heroine, then kicks her corpse aside without a second thought. Not one of the palace consorts meets a happy end. Only the heroine has a powerful protagonist's halo, eventually becoming empress and enjoying endless favor and luxury. After reading the script, Yuan Ning says, "I'll play along with you, but I'm done being your tool!" A pitiful girl with no power, influence, or backers, she decides to win over her fellow consorts so she can survive in the imperial harem! The first step toward harem solidarity is to start a class teaching everyone to open their eyes and see just how awful the dog emperor is! During the day, Yuan Ning is summoned to the Empress Dowager's chambers and scolded until she cries. At night, the emperor sneaks into her chambers and feigns deep affection. "I can't protect you every moment. Will you blame me for being powerless?" "Of course not..." As if! "I'm not the Empress Dowager's real son, and my position isn't secure yet. Would you be willing to serve the Empress Dowager and help me gather information?" Yuan Ning acts timid and weak, like a woman hopelessly in love with the emperor. "I would be honored, Your Majesty!" Not a chance! Ugh! The next day, Yuan Ning drops her timid facade and sternly warns her fellow consorts, "These are textbook manipulative scumbag tactics!" Theme: Turn from evil and do good