Feeding Myself to a Mad Dog

[Official version on Jinjiang Literature City. If you read pirated copies, keep quiet.] [Print edition signed. Follow Weibo @Shi Lin Ting Ye for publication updates.] [My campus novel next door, Cool Summer, is now available. Please add it to your collection.] Blurb: When Sang Wannian was young, she was rebellious and unrestrained. She caught the attention of a gifted young man, but for various reasons, she later broke up with him. Humiliated, he grew to hate her. Years later, while she was in college, her family's business ground to a halt, and she had no choice but to take a job doing odd tasks and interpreting on a talent competition show. Then, during the mentor's stage performance, she saw Xie Jiashi. The boy whose eyes had reddened when they broke up stood on the dazzling stage, his silver hair wild and unruly, his manner playful and aloof. When the song ended, he raised a hand and snapped his fingers, looking down on the crowd with careless arrogance as thousands below screamed themselves hoarse. The industry's hottest top-tier star, with tens of millions of fans, was flourishing and riding high. Sharp and unruly, he glanced toward her, the corner of his eye carrying a beast's predatory menace. They met again in a convenience store as torrential rain poured outside. Xie Jiashi leaned against the wall, coolly slipping his jacket off his wrist and tossing it over her shoulders. He watched her and gave a quiet, scornful laugh, his voice faintly cold. "We have plenty of time ahead of us." As they spent more time together, their relationship thawed. Sang Wan couldn't tell what he was thinking. She only felt that he kept a part of himself hidden, with a knife pointed at her heart. "I mustn't fall for him." She was cautious, unwilling to misread his feelings and end up the loser. She responded to his subtle advances, but avoided talking about love. Until, in a shadowy corner, with crowds surging outside, he seized her wrist and pinned it against the sofa. She was forced close to the place over his heart. Thump, thump, thump. His heartbeat was so fierce. He kissed her neck with desperate force, the corners of his narrow eyes crimson. All the arrogance and defiance he showed others had vanished. His disguise fell away, and in a low, husky voice, he murmured again and again against her ear: "Don't leave me again." "Love me." Only then did Sang Wan realize how deeply he loved her. // Xie Jiashi, a world-class musical genius, made his solo debut as a teenager and shot to fame. At twenty-two, he reached the top and returned to China. With a breathtakingly handsome face and extraordinary talent, he was wild and unlike anyone else. Though his nature was so unruly and rebellious, and he never kept company with women, every love song he wrote was deeply moving. He was thus hailed as the "Boy Deity," said to be beyond anyone's reach. Until a secretly taken photo spread across the internet. In it, the usually unruly top-tier star bent down, his long lashes trembling as he kissed the neck of the girl in his arms, leaving a suggestive red mark. The madness in his eyes was restrained, his expression utterly enraptured, as if a deity had fallen to earth. The online discussion exploded: Rumor had it that the girl had only been playing around and had coldheartedly dumped the top-tier star back then. Xie Jiashi had even suffered from depression for years because of it. Doubts and accusations spread. That night, Xie Jiashi posted a statement denying the rumors: "@Sang Wan, my butterfly." "There was no playing with anyone's feelings. I've always loved her." The whole internet erupted. #No one knew what he felt. It had once been hidden beneath sultry night skies, in a hopeless abyss, surging day after day until it consumed him. #Every day you were gone, I longed desperately to return to your side, driven mad by the love growing fiercely in my heart. A bold, free-spirited world-class musical genius x a sweet yet fierce, alluring young woman One-on-one romance / Both leads are each other's first love / Happy ending / The male lead is a songwriter and producer, not an idol This story is not based on any real person. Please don't draw parallels to reality. No writing advice, please. You don't need to tell me if you drop the story. Let's respect one another. Any insults or attacks will be returned with pinpoint accuracy, doubled. Theme: After weathering countless hardships, keep striving forward