The Entire Entertainment Industry Is Begging to Add Me as a Friend

[This story is returning after a long hiatus. Updates may be far apart, and the writing style changes considerably between earlier and later chapters. Read with caution.] A major entertainment-industry influencer posted a request for help in their friends' circle: Does anyone have a friend in the film studio named Duan Buyan? I hear he's pretty good. I've had bad luck lately and urgently need a change of fortune. Please recommend him! They didn't expect to summon a whole crowd of big shots! Business tycoon: Master Duan Buyan, I'd like to add you too! King of Comedy: Let me humbly take a seat. Three-time Golden Film Award winner: Please call him Master Duan! I couldn't add him either QAQ Genius screenwriter: I'm waiting!!! People who were usually impossible to approach all left comments and reposted the post. The influencer was flattered, and after asking around, discovered that Master Duan really was something else. A top-tier star had shot to fame thanks to his advice. A newly crowned Best Actor had him to thank for his award. His fortune-telling helped the crew of "xxx" avoid a fire. And the leader of a large cult who'd recently made the news had actually been captured with his help! The influencer stayed up all night writing a glowing promotional post, but it prompted fans from all sides to sneer and mock, and shot straight to the top of the trending searches. “Ugh, people are really praising a jinx these days?!” “No way, are people really willing to take Duan Ziduansun's dirty money? Aren't you afraid a ghost will pin you down in your sleep?” “Is there anyone who doesn't know Duan Buyan is a fraud? >>> Click here for the full rundown” “Duan the dog still hasn't been banned? He's the one who got my fave hospitalized!” Influencer: ??? Master Duan, what other surprises do you have for me? Duan Buyan: As it happens, I'm already married, and my husband has been dead for thousands of years. Some dead guy: ...Should I be happy about that? Yuming × Duan Buyan A jealous, doting evil spirit from the underworld × a snarky human lightning rod for bad luck (The seme is a ghost at first and becomes human later.) Recommendations from friends Sha Zhou Ta Cui: An entertainment-industry story about running away while pregnant, so good! "Being Kept While Fighting Back [Reborn]" Article ID: 6888983 Tian Wu Feng Xue: Interstellar farming!! I love it! "Sent Off to a Down-and-Out Planet for a Marriage Alliance" Article ID: 6927826 Coming soon Entertainment-industry supernatural story: "This Dating Show Ignores Science" "The Matchmaker's Supreme Fortune" is a matchmaking reality show, but it was lambasted by netizens as soon as it launched. Other matchmaking shows feature dating coaches analyzing people's psychology and matchmakers helping couples find happiness. This matchmaking show, however, has a fortune-telling coach doing quick metaphysical calculations and using magic to analyze people's compatibility. Netizens were furious: Director, are you okay? Are you okay? Everyone else is matchmaking, and you're raising venomous bugs, is that it? But after the show aired... The Matchmaker God's spirit lots determined fated relationships, birth charts revealed scumbags, and true love turned out to be written in the stars... Netizens: W-what do we do? It actually seems kind of accurate? Among all the diviners, fate readers, and bug masters gathered on the show, the most outstanding was an obscure young Daoist priest. Yu Hechuan, the founding patriarch from a thousand years ago, was reborn as a young Daoist who couldn't even afford a meal. With his astonishing metaphysical skills, he became a sensation in the entertainment industry! On the show: Guest: Master, please show me the way! Off the show: Netizen: Damn! How do I get an appointment with this master? I'm seriously desperate! Lu Jingxiu, a top-tier star from a wealthy family who had always kept his distance from ghosts and gods and never believed in metaphysics, unexpectedly accepted an invitation to appear on "The Matchmaker's Supreme Fortune". The man who had always scoffed at metaphysics walked up to the young Daoist priest and spoke with utmost seriousness. “I had someone read my fate chart and compare our birth charts. You're my destined one!” Young Daoist: “...” Lu Jingxiu × Yu Hechuan Theme: Treat others with sincerity