The Sickly Beauty Wants a Divorce from the Evil God

*Upcoming modern danmei novel, "My Ridiculous Childhood Friend Doesn't Know When to Stop": a roguish, playful top x a cool, restrained beauty bottom. The blurb is at the very end. Launching November 9, so please visit my author page and add it to your favorites!*

Yan Yuqing is an orphan who grew up in a welfare home. He was sickly from childhood, a frail little thing.

When he turned twenty, Yan Yuqing started dating.

But on his birthday, he discovered his boyfriend was cheating on him.

That night, Yan Yuqing came down with a high fever that wouldn't break. In a daze, he was taken by a tall man to a place of utter darkness.

The man kissed him and, in a voice like a ghost's, told him this was their wedding night.

Yan Yuqing couldn't see his face. His teeth chattered with fright, and his whole body trembled.

In the end, unable to bear the humiliation, he bit his tongue and passed out.

*

The evil god, who failed to complete the wedding ceremony on their wedding night, thinks: Humans are such a hassle.

Yan Yuqing is his destined partner, and also the tribulation of his love fate.

He needs to marry his partner and, when their feelings are mutual, plant an evil sigil on them to help him survive this tribulation.

But his human partner won't let him touch him at all!

And what was that about mutual feelings? What a stupid rule!

The evil god's subordinate thinks: Thank goodness the rules are there. Otherwise, the poor human would have lost his life on his wedding night.

But to his face, the subordinate smiles and suggests:

"My lord, humans need an emotional connection. You could take human form and spend your days with Mr. Yan, building a relationship."

The evil god: "Ridiculous. Why would I go to all that trouble to cultivate some cheap feelings for a mere human?"

That very night, a new neighbor moves in next door to Yan Yuqing.

A handsome, extraordinary-looking man who claims to tell fortunes and exorcise ghosts: a master of the occult.

*

The master of the occult is considerate and polite, and always helps Yan Yuqing deal with the creepy little ghosts.

Moved by his kindness, Yan Yuqing begins to develop feelings for him.

So Yan Yuqing goes to the temple, kneels before the gods, and prays.

The evil god, spying on the scene, is overjoyed: Look at that! The human's here to confess his love to me!

Then Yan Yuqing suddenly says, "Dear Mr. Evil God, I want a divorce."

Subordinate: Snort.

Evil god: ????

A master of disguise, tsundere and possessive evil god top x a pure-hearted, frail beauty bottom

Yan Jiu x Yan Yuqing

Bonus Scene 1:

Subordinate: My lord, Mr. Yan has been in the Hall of the Gods for five days.

Evil god (smiling): Has he finally come to repent in tears?

Subordinate: No, Mr. Yan is insulting you.

Evil god: ?

Subordinate: The gods have already heard one whole round. Mr. Yan is having something to eat, then he'll start another.

Evil god: ? Why haven't I heard a thing?

Subordinate: The gods are enjoying it, so they blocked you out.

Bonus Scene 2:

The school holds a social mixer, and Yan Yuqing, who never shows up at events like this, unexpectedly appears.

His ex-boyfriend furtively eyes Yan Yuqing, whose whole demeanor has changed, and wants to get back together.

He sees Yan Yuqing leave alone and eagerly follows him out, only to spot a man waiting outside, pinning Yan Yuqing against a tree?!!

Ex-boyfriend: Hmph, how could Yan Yuqing, that block of wood, let a stranger kiss him?

Just wait until you get beaten up, you clueless man!

Then he sees Yan Yuqing hold the man's face in his hands, pout, blush, and take the initiative to kiss him.

Ex-boyfriend: ??????

Reader Advisory:

1. The top is not human in his original form. He has demonic goat horns, enormous black wings on his back, beast claws bigger than his face, and a very long, thick tail.

2. A sweet romance with a focus on the relationship and less on the plot.

3. Logic is dead. Everything is in service of the couple.

4. There are supernatural elements, but it probably won't be too scary... right?

5. One-on-one romance, happy ending.

Blurb revised and screenshot archived on June 9, 2022.

"My Ridiculous Childhood Friend Doesn't Know When to Stop"

Fang Zhu's father is the Yan family's chief steward, so Fang Zhu has lived in the Yan household with his dad since childhood.

He grew up with the Yan family's young master, Yan Jiyun. They're as close as childhood friends can be, doing everything together, even eating, drinking, sleeping, and using the bathroom. Whenever possible, they never part.

Everything changed because of something Yan Jiyun said in his sleep:

On a hot summer night, Fang Zhu is sleeping with his face pressed to Yan Jiyun's, their legs tangled together, when Yan Jiyun suddenly mutters in his sleep.

Fang Zhu wakes up and leans closer to hear.

Yan Jiyun smacks his lips and murmurs dreamily, "Xiao Zhu, don't move. Just one kiss, just one."

Fang Zhu is struck like he's been hit by lightning, falls out of bed in fright, and runs out of the bedroom without looking back.

After that, he never shares a room or a bed with Yan Jiyun again.

Yan Jiyun notices something is wrong, but Fang Zhu keeps his mouth shut and doesn't mention the dream.

Apart from no longer sleeping together, everything else between them carries on as usual.

Fang Zhu originally thinks Yan Jiyun's tastes will change with time, but who knew the guy would only get worse!

For instance, when Fang Zhu is helping in the kitchen, Yan Jiyun suddenly appears behind him, wraps his arms around his waist, and cuddles up to him!

For instance, when Fang Zhu is taking a bath, Yan Jiyun suddenly barges in and asks if he needs help scrubbing his back!

And for instance, when Fang Zhu is sleeping peacefully on his own, Yan Jiyun uses a key to open his bedroom door, carries a pillow into Fang Zhu's bed, and cuddles up to sleep with him?

Wait, wait, hold on!

Fang Zhu can't take it anymore and punches Yan Jiyun.

"We're both men. Show some restraint!"

Yan Jiyun looks bewildered. "Huh? I didn't do anything."

Fang Zhu: "I mean, stop touching me so much!"

Yan Jiyun: 0.0

Later, Yan Jiyun starts taking over the family business. He's inexperienced and gets tricked into taking a drug.

But the next day, he wakes up in his own bed, fully dressed and with all his limbs intact.

Aside from feeling a little dizzy, he has no other discomfort.

Yan Jiyun: That's how capable I am.

But after that day, a strange image keeps appearing in his mind:

A smooth, pale back, with a tiny butterfly tattoo behind the right shoulder.

When the shoulder blade moves, the butterfly flaps its wings.

Yan Jiyun: Who's that?

He goes to ask Fang Zhu who brought him home that night.

Fang Zhu: "The driver."

Him: "Nobody else?"

Fang Zhu: "No."

Later, Yan Jiyun starts interrogating Fang Zhu.

He corners him at home and asks, "Where were you on the night of June 27? What were you doing?"

Fang Zhu: "In my room, sleeping."

He pins him down in the car and asks, "Where were you on the night of June 27? What were you doing?"

Fang Zhu: "In my room, sleeping."

Finally, after Fang Zhu gets drunk, he pulls him into the hallway and asks,

"Where were you on the night of June 27? What were you doing?"

Drunk Fang Zhu: "In my room... sleeping..."

Yan Jiyun coaxes him: "Which room did you sleep in? Why don't we go take a look?"

Then he watches Fang Zhu, unsteady on his feet,

staggering,

swaying from side to side,

walk toward his room.

Yan Jiyun: ^+-+^

I knew it, Xiao Zhu, Xiao Zhu. Sooner or later, you'll be mine in body and soul.

A roguish, playful top x a cool, restrained beauty bottom

Yan Jiyun x Fang Zhu

Theme: Don't fear hardship. Keep moving forward.