[Three Kingdoms] The Strategist Is Always Slacking Off

[Bonus Chapters Updated as Inspiration Strikes]

Gu Zhi was enjoying the air conditioning when he transmigrated into a novel about the Three Kingdoms contending for supremacy, set in the late Eastern Han dynasty.

In a chaotic age, military strength was the way to bring peace. Although Gu Zhi had maxed out his general skills, he was dead set on becoming a civil official.

Civil officials were great, civil officials were wonderful. Civil officials stayed alive longer, and their achievements were never so great that they threatened their lord.

Clutching his homemade goji berry tea, Gu Zhi relied on his well-connected sinecure to sit back and watch the drama unfold in the Cao Wei camp.

Every so often, he would bluff someone or polish his gift of the gab, just to avoid getting laid off for slacking off.

However, life always has its unavoidable moments.

During the Battle of Wancheng, Cao Cao was on the brink of death. To keep his boss alive and hold on to his cushy job, Gu Zhi had no choice but to step in and save Old Cao amid a rain of arrows.

Cao Cao: "!! Mingyuan, who knew you had such hidden depths? If you can command troops and devise strategies..."

Gu Zhi immediately dropped his sword, slid onto one knee, and began coughing frantically to look frail. "I can't wield a sword. The moment I do, I get dizzy, my vision blurs, my chest hurts, my blood pressure spikes, I have seizures, and every ailment strikes at once..."

Cao Cao: "...Quick, get the court physician to examine Mingyuan."

During the Battle of Guandu, Cao's army was losing. Seeing that his boss was about to go bankrupt, Gu Zhi had to step in again to keep his cushy job. He led soldiers in a charge and captured three cities in succession.

Cao Cao was overjoyed. "With Mingyuan's help, this battle is won."

Gu Zhi toppled off his horse in a full 360-degree flip and landed flat on his back. "I'm deeply grateful for my lord's favor. This battle has, cough, cough, cough... exhausted the strength I've spent my whole life building..."

Cao Cao: "..."

Sima Yi, who had watched the whole thing: If you're going to pull this kind of stunt, how am I supposed to keep pretending to be sick?

Xun Yu, who was handling affairs in the city, heard that Gu Zhi was "ill" again and went out to visit him.

Seeing Gu Zhi standing in the courtyard, craning his neck to look out, Xun Yu sighed helplessly. "If you're 'ill,' then stay inside and get some proper rest."

Gu Zhi smiled. "The moment I see Wenruo, I'm cured."

Cao Cao, who had come along for the visit, said, "In that case, Wenruo can accompany you on your next campaign. With him there, surely you won't get 'dizzy, blurry vision, chest pains, high blood pressure, seizures, and every ailment all at once,' Mingyuan?"

Gu Zhi: .

It didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

☆, ☆, ☆, ☆, ☆, ☆, ☆

Reader Notes

1. The pairing is Xun Yu. Xun Yu is the top, so please don't reverse the roles in a bottom-focused story. Cao Wei camp.

2. The tone is mainly lighthearted, with a focus on character interactions. The characters' positions do not represent the author's, and their opinions do not represent the author's.

3. Transmigration into a book, set in a Three Kingdoms fanfic universe (emphasis added). The plot has been heavily altered. Any details that differ from Records of the Three Kingdoms should be taken as part of the novel's world or alternate setting.

4. The character cards are used with permission from Huangmi Lianggao. Many thanks to the artist (sending love). The cover is an authorized paid cover, and the materials used are not exclusive.

5. More to come when I think of it.

☆, Upcoming Story Separator, ☆

Coming soon: [Three Kingdoms] The Strategist Is Still on the Clock Today by Jiyu Chengshan

Lu Sui woke up one morning and found himself transmigrated with his game account.

The good news: he was collecting five paychecks all by himself.

The bad news: he was a military spy working for five bosses.

Lu Sui: ...

Staring at the five secret letters laid out on the table, he fell silent.

A letter from Boss Cao: This matter concerns the safety of the realm. Shixing, be sure to proceed with caution.

A letter from Boss Yuan: Cao Cao is a suspicious man. Lang, stay on your guard.

A letter from Boss Sun: For the sake of our great plan to set the world right, I hope you can patiently remain undercover, little brother Sui.

A letter from Boss Lü: That old scoundrel Dong is utterly shameless! I, Bu, lack the talent to do you justice, sir.

A letter from Boss Liu: The cause of restoring the Han rests on you. I hope you will return soon.

Lu Sui, who had somehow become a workaholic: ...

I'm tired. Let's just end it all.

According to popular rumor, the famed scholar Lu Sui was a rare talent whom Sun and Liu could never forget, a worthy man Lü Bu dreamed of day and night, and a trusted strategist whom Cao Cao and Yuan Shao fretted over...

Lu the Fake Workaholic Who Just Wants to Run Away Sui: So I won't have to burn paper money for myself at my own grave next year, I'm quitting today!

Lu Sui came clean and flipped the table on the spot: I'm a double agent!

Lü/Yuan/Sun/Liu: Lang endured humiliation and hardship for my sake. There's no way he would betray me. He must have been forced into this by some villain.

They finished speaking and all turned to look at one person.

Cao Cao, receiving the stares of all four: ?

#AllMyBossesThinkI'mOnTheirSideOnlyIKnowI'mNot#

#TheUltimateDoubleAgent# #I'mNotAWorkplaceImmortalAreYou#

Theme: People in a community should stand together, friends should care for one another, and we should face life with optimism.