How Do I Survive This Super-Deduction Harem of Doom?

I have a boss I just have to talk about. He has the world's greatest supernatural ability: [Ultra Deduction] He's smart and adorable. He likes ordering me to run errands, sending me across several streets to buy discontinued sweets, and taking me along on business trips as his full-time nanny. Liking to boss people around is one thing, being good-looking is another. What can I say? He's exactly my type! As the Port Mafia's greatest strategist, this young boss is indeed doted on by everyone and has won countless battles. I'd be thrilled if he took me along to slack off every day. Until one day... I suddenly found myself in the Armed Detective Agency, our rival's territory. I was completely bewildered and desperate to cling to my boss's leg and say I was sorry, begging him to save me. I know I'm useless and dead weight! When I actually did it, sobbing my heart out, he spoke up. "Why are you clinging to the great detective?" I stared up at him, totally confused. "Boss, when did you change clothes?" A long, wordless silence... After that, I kept running into more bosses: one from the Decay of the Angels, one who was the president of the Armed Detective Agency, one who was the head of the Port Mafia, one from the military police... "Can I apply to start over?" The people with faces exactly like my boss shook their heads and said: "No! You have to pick one!!!" *OOC warning! *Ranpo from a parallel world *Crackfic warning! Theme: Please, let me start over!