The Absolute Philosophy of the Love Loop

*Also known as: "818: The Unreliable Ex-Boyfriends I've Had Over the Years" I'm done. This world has it in for me. Why do I always turn into a loser in love? Am I just not meant to find love? Q: What kind of men were your ex-boyfriends? A: Don't make it sound like I have terrible taste. Q: Come on, what's the harm in telling us? A: Heh. Let's just say it was like being a zoo director. My first boyfriend was a slug. He dumped me because of an office romance. The second was a mackerel who somehow dated me without even letting me know, then ruined my reputation. The third was a tsundere kitten who loved solving mysteries and was the world's greatest detective. The fourth was a scheming military dog, seemingly disabled but determined to persevere. The fifth was a Siberian hamster who acted pure, cute, and effortlessly charming. Q: Wow, that sounds exhausting! A: You bet. They had me completely fooled. In the end, I lost my job, my love, and my youth. Q: (Kindly comforting me) I heard your adorable brothers felt sorry for you. At least that's something. A: ... A: Yeah. I heard that after I broke up with one of them, a hopelessly clueless guy told me to drink more hot water, then pulled out his family register the very next second. The other one... Q: (Eyes sparkling with anticipation) What about the other one?! A: (Vein twitching) The other one is right here, holding a microphone and mocking me. You bastard, get the hell away from me! If you dig up my embarrassing past again, I'll throw you out, you civet cat! Meanwhile, a color-blocked rabbit, used to this sort of thing, silently grabs the cleaning supplies and dutifully tidies up the room after the chaos... [Couple: Jono] (The main story has an open ending. The male lead takes the lead in the side stories, with lots of sweet treats.) *Lighthearted, ridiculous comedy (emphasis added). Don't look for logic. OOC warning!!! *If anything here bothers you, please leave in time!!! Theme: Face life with courage and protect world peace.