In the summer transfer window of 2017, Neymar, Barcelona's number 11, suddenly announced he was leaving for Paris Saint-Germain. There were only a few days left in the transfer window, and Barcelona didn't even have a new number 11 who could help carry the team next season.
Every club rubbed their hands together, hoping to take a big chunk out of the Camp Nou money pit, full of rich fools.
Fans followed every rumor in the papers, watching names come and go, until one morning they woke up and checked their phones to find a new player quietly announced on the club's official website: a winger, number 11.
Then they clicked through and saw: 20 years old, Barcelona University's student team... goalkeeper???
"That's it?? That's it!! Bartomeu, after all that, you found a big salmon??"
Sirius Solomon: Excuse me, I'm not a salmon.
The fans were furious. The football world went into an uproar.
The other teams thought they were safe this year. Without their number 11, Barcelona could be crossed off the list of La Liga and Champions League contenders.
"Thanks, Salmon!" Real Madrid fans cheered.
"Salmon out!" Barcelona fans roared.
But after Barcelona's first match of the new season, European football fell silent.
After ten matches, every newspaper ran the same headline:
"The Demon Lord of the Blaugrana, King Solomon: Welcome to Hell"
Notes: 1. A shameless wish-fulfillment story for Barcelona fans. It's truly shameless, and truly satisfying.
2. Irregular updates, and it won't be long.
3. I'll add more if I think of anything.
Theme: To ease the sadness in my heart over Barca not having a suitable left winger.
