The Heavenly Dao Keeps Kidnapping Me

Yue Weixing is the Heavenly Dao. After living for too long, something went wrong in his head. He's pessimistic, world-weary, and a full-fledged gloomy loser. Now he has to execute five powerful figures who have made mistakes, and he knows they'll all eventually become male leads who turn their lives around. Steal opportunities? Cling to powerful people? Turn your life around? Become everyone's favorite? Yue Weixing: Boring. It's all fleeting dust. I just want to die of old age. Please come kill me already! Day one of deliberately courting death: He turned his bright-eyed, banished-immortal junior brother into a honking goose that twisted its neck to peck people. Day two of deliberately courting death: He turned the future Demon Lord, elegant and noble, into a pufferfish in a tank that exploded at the slightest touch. Day three of deliberately courting death: He turned the cool, phoenix-like beauty with a face like carved jade into a barnyard chicken in the backyard that did nothing but peck at corn. Meanwhile, he lay flat every day in his little rattan chair, propping up his forehead and waiting to die. Later, the powerful figures all followed the plot and became major forces in their own right. And Yue Weixing, the Heavenly Dao, was kidnapped again. Day one: The phoenix, now an immortal, took him away and locked him in a secluded courtyard. "Here, there are only you and me. Let's share a night of passion." Day two: The Demon Lord took him away and dressed him in the bridal robes of a foreign woman. The other man caught him by the ankle. "This anklet suits you." Day three: His junior brother took his place as the Heavenly Dao and prepared to act in Heaven's stead, capture him as a demon, and keep him in a golden cage. Yue Weixing: ... This isn't how it was supposed to go? Theme: Even gloomy losers get their day in the sun