Kunikida's Doppo Poet

Kunikida Doppo, the hardest-working Port Mafia boss in the world. As long as he doesn't drop dead from overwork, he can moonlight as, ahem, the person handling every single Port Mafia operation. His motto is: [As long as you don't cause trouble for the Port Mafia, we can work things out]. Yet this hardworking, admirable boss is driven half-mad by his subordinates every single day. Dazai: Boss, listen, blah blah blah... Kunikida: So that's how it is? (Writes it down.) Dazai: Just kidding~ Kunikida: ... (Snaps his fountain pen in half) Executive Dazai, go finish all those old assignments today!! And don't you dare hand them to Chuuya!!! Kunikida: ... Chuuya: ... Boss, we've been staring at this for half an hour. Kunikida: ... Chuuya, let's agree on this. Next time, no matter what happens, whether you take down the Rats in the House of the Dead or fight Dazai, don't blow up the Port Mafia building. (Weakly) Kunikida looked at the Port Mafia's losses and fainted on the spot. Kunikida: I... want... to... resign... Everyone: Boss!! What's wrong, Boss!!! A few things to know before reading: 1. This Kunikida isn't that Kunikida. Don't ask why I keep writing this kind of thing. I just can't help myself. (I want to write the whole cast as Port Mafia members!!!) 2. I took one step into being a Kunikida fan and couldn't get out. 3. Let's just say this friendship is on a boat that can capsize at any moment (everyone dotes on him, with lots of one-sided crushes). If all else fails, there's always me and Kunikida (Hey!). 4. This is a feel-good story written for Kunikida. Theme: The self-cultivation of an overworked office drone