A Tokyo Villain's Ordeal

Fran of Varia finally got caught slacking off during an assassination mission. In keeping with Varia's high standards, where the loud-mouthed captain is always shouting, the frog-headed boy shut his eyes, kicked his legs, and chose to give up struggling.

He thought he would meet Pineapple-senpai, who was always trying to stab him to death, at the end of the cycle of reincarnation. Instead, when he opened his eyes, he saw an unidentified creature trying to tear off his arm and eat it.

Fran: ?

And so the great (?) Mist Guardian of Varia, the illusionist Fran, began his journey of verbal takedowns.

Fran: Keeping a beautiful young man's appearance even though you're already so old is totally just the author's weird hobby, isn't it? Also, senpai, you're so much like someone I know when it comes to being late.

Gojo Satoru: ?

After that, whenever Gojo Satoru did something that annoyed people, he would say his name was Kakashi. His excuses for being late were either getting lost on the road of life or playing mahjong in the neighboring Naruto theater.

Fran: You shouldn't be called Doma. You should be called Doma Blood-Bright Enchantress, Snow-Ice Sorrow Glass Stranger Dream, Cherry-Snow Feather-Han Spirit.

Doma: ?

Fran: It's a compliment. You look like a Mary Sue, after all.

That very night, Doma happily ran to Akaza to tell him that he was apparently a Mary Sue.

Fran: No, rather than being scary, I think the gender-ambiguous monster is strong. Being able to calmly express your ideals about life while naked must take a powerful mind.

Mahito: ... (His attack passed through the illusion.)

Fran, appearing somewhere else: Exactly. I love seeing you look annoyed when you can't hit me.

The distillery employees: ...Um, Lord Fran, shouldn't you start attacking now?

Fran, expressionless: Wait, I haven't decided on a pose yet, so I can't use my ability. Oh, I've got it. I am Fran of Varia, the Vongola assassination squad. I open my box in just one thousandth of a second. Please enjoy the process: both hands forward, raise the left hand, then raise the right hand. Hah! Behold the box!

The villains of Tokyo: ...Please, just die already.

*Idea saved, 2.17

Theme: Varia's high standards