Inviting Historical Figures to Work 996

Subtitle: Building a Fun Park of Chinese History and Culture: Even Emperors, Generals, Ministers, and Statesmen Have to Work Nine to Nine, Six Days a Week (Parallel-universe setting, a historical mash-up) Blurb 1: In the sixth year of the Yuanshou era, Huo Qubing, the Champion Marquis who had not yet conquered Mount Langjuxu, fell ill with the plague on his way to Shuofang. A mysterious woman suddenly appeared, claiming she could cure him, but only if the Champion Marquis worked at the Fun Park of Chinese History and Culture to pay off his medical expenses. In late spring of the second year of the Tianbao era, the poetry immortal Li Bai received an imperial summons while drunk. He made Gao Lishi remove his boots, composed three poems, including "Her robes are like clouds, her face like flowers," and was given gold and sent home. When the mysterious woman sent him an invitation promising unlimited fine wine, the banished immortal gladly accepted. In the fifth year of the Yuanfeng era, Su Shi, exiled to Huangzhou, went on a spring outing with a friend. When a sudden storm came, he composed, "A bamboo staff and straw sandals are lighter than a horse. Who's afraid? I'll spend my life in wind and rain, wearing a straw cape." Then a mysterious woman claiming to be an HR representative for the Fun Park of Chinese History and Culture sent him an invitation to return to work... Blurb 2: Are you distressed because your child is addicted to electronic devices? Are you unsure which study tours to choose for your child's winter and summer vacations? Have the high fees for extracurricular classes ever put you off? Now, with just one VVIP annual pass to the Fun Park of Chinese History and Culture, you can get free access to: Huo Qubing's horseback archery training, to keep your child away from electronic devices; Sima Qian's history reading class, making it easy to expand their knowledge beyond the classroom; and lessons in Tang poetry with Li Bai, Du Fu, Su Shi, and Xin Qiji. Learn Tang poetry and Song lyrics, and fill your heart with books and your bearing with grace... Other classes appear at random, including calligraphy lessons from Wang Xianzhi and Yan Zhenqing, Gongsun Daniang's sword dance course, Li Guinian's musical instrument class, and a Mohist mechanical devices class. Most importantly, all the free classes above are open to every age and gender. You're just one VVIP annual pass to the Fun Park of Chinese History and Culture away from the elegance of mastering the zither, chess, calligraphy, painting, medicine, gardening, and flower arranging, as well as the six arts of the gentleman: rites, music, archery, charioteering, calligraphy, and mathematics. P.S. The park also puts on spectacular performances from time to time, including Han dynasty music and dance, Tang dynasty Pear Garden performances, and Song dynasty entertainment in the pleasure quarters. Stay tuned. Reader's Guide: 1. A feel-good infrastructure-building story with a golden finger. Don't expect logic, and don't nitpick! 2. Please enjoy the story. Different opinions are welcome, but personal attacks are not. Keeping the comments section friendly depends on all of us. Finally: Please support the official release. Thank you! Note: This blurb was updated on September 15, 2024, and lightly revised the following day. Theme: Worry about what troubles the world, and rejoice in what brings the world joy.