[Honghuang] I Heard Laozi Has a Crush on Me

Next up for pre-release: "[Honghuang] After I Forced Myself on Yuanshi Tianzun..." One-line summary: He ran away while pregnant. [Main text is in third person] I, Zhunti, am the King of the Unlucky. Everyone knows that our West is famously barren: utterly impoverished, lacking spiritual energy, unable to grow even a single spirit herb. And the only spiritual vein in the West with any real value was destroyed by two big shots whose names must not be spoken. I hate them! Then one day, I suddenly remembered a piece of modern-day wisdom: You can't choose where you come from, but you can decide your own fate. And so I awakened, just like the protagonist of a shonen manga. From then on, I set out to beat up the three lucky European brothers next door. =v= One more thing: in the very end, I got together with the eldest of the three lucky brothers. [doge] Reading guide: This story is written to indulge a wild idea. If anything makes you uncomfortable, please stop reading before it gets worse. Next up for pre-release: "[Honghuang] After I Forced Myself on Yuanshi Tianzun..." One-line summary: He ran away while pregnant. Blurb: #What in your life are you proud of, something that would amaze and make countless people envious if you told them about it?# Hong Shu: Thanks for the invite. I can think of three things that might impress people. 1. During the period when the three clans ruled, I was second-in-command of the Phoenix Clan. 2. I forced myself on Yuanshi Tianzun when he was injured and at the lowest point of his power, then kept him imprisoned by my side as my male pet. (At the time, I didn't know who he really was.) 3. Yuanshi ran away while pregnant, and gave birth to my child. Forum members: ???????? #Oh wow! Was there really such an outrageous story behind the divine romance everyone in Honghuang ships?# The next day, a new viral post appeared on the Honghuang Forum: #Shocking! The child of the two Saints, Hong Shu Daozun and Yuanshi Tianzun, was born by Tianzun! Is male pregnancy a sign of the Heavenly Dao's moral decline or a great leap forward in technology?# Hong Shu: ...Wait, have none of you heard of conception through spiritual union? My brother Yuanfeng and Zulong and Shiqilin all had children as men. They were all single fathers, too. Are the kids of this generation in Honghuang really that bad at history? [Subway, old man, phone.jpg] Forum members: ??? Where do the history books mention male mothers? Saint, don't take advantage of how little we know! And so, on that day, all of Honghuang was consumed by a piece of astonishing gossip, terrified and excited as they transformed into little melons eager to watch the drama unfold. ** Yuanshi had once hated a woman to the utmost. Because of her, he despised an entire clan. No demon could exist anywhere his gaze fell. When he was at his weakest and most wretched, he met Hong Shu. She teased and toyed with him, and he swore that one day he would skin her alive and tear out her tendons, making her experience even greater despair to repay the humiliation he suffered that day. But Yuanshi never imagined that in the future he would be drawn to Hong Shu, inexplicably giving her his whole heart and willingly enduring endless tribulations for her. Genderbent Kunpeng, male lead Tongtian: "[Honghuang] Everyone Wants to Stew Me in a Pot" Genderbent Hongjun, male lead Luohou: "[Honghuang] Hongjun's Daoist Daily Life" Genderbent Pangu, no pairing: "[Honghuang] Pangu's Retirement Life" Theme: Strive to develop yourself and build a harmonious home.