Summary of the second article:
1. There is a lack of foreshadowing for character changes.
2. The plot is incomplete.
3. The writing style is unstable.
4. The relationship between the characters is weak.
It is recommended to read Chapter 65 of "The Legend of Hairpin", which makes you laugh while covering your face. There is a description of a small character in it. It tells the story of several farmers whose horses died. They see the big from the small, and a big chaos will happen after the accident. (I didn't save the book pages before, so I just found it after I almost finished flipping through the book from back to front... I can't post a screenshot. Please trouble yourself and find it there to take a look.) I hope it will be helpful to your future writing attempts.
I have been following the update for so long, so I will also write down my thoughts after reading it - the following is a very intuitive feeling. I am on duty at work today, so I can use my free time. The author takes a big look.
1. Reading many chapters makes people unable to feel where you are, and gives you a light and helpless feeling. It is obvious that the characters are powerful and the speed is fast enough, but it just makes people unable to feel it when reading. The characters are very pale, and so far you have seen the two interactions between Orochimaru and Alpha (the first time at Orochimaru's house, the two had an unconscious movement of getting closer, and the second time at Orochimaru's house, Orochimaru pressed his forehead against Alpha. The processing there is very wonderful. Indescribable feelings (not specifically love) linger in front of the two people like the warm moonlight, and then dissipate.)
2. The processing of broken chapters is weak. But the end of the latest one is handled very well, that is, "Alpha walks into the palace." It whets one's appetite.
3. Pale paintings of characters. I understand that your Alpha's "Tao" is unformed, so she is "indeterminate" and is still trying and chasing. Generally speaking, if such an image is well created, it will give readers a feeling of "I watched this little girl grow up." But so far, the image of Alpha (especially the face) is still vague in my mind. Her existence is like a "silly big sister" made of "smellless" and "wet latex", with erratic psychology and behavior. So do other characters. Just because they are familiar characters from anime doesn't mean you can't describe them in detail, and many of your anime characters or the things they do are not shown in the original work. You can completely create them yourself so that both readers who have seen the original anime and those who have not seen the original anime can identify with the characters.
All in all, I feel that the author must have a lot of ideas in his head, but there are gaps in his words. Many good ideas, details, and exciting scenes in his head cannot be expressed clearly by pen.
Above. ?!
Will continue to follow up. Looking forward to your alpha.
Summary of the second article: 1. There is a lack of foreshadowing for character changes. 2. The plot is incomplete. 3. The writing style is unstable. 4. The relationship between the characters is weak.
It is recommended to read Chapter 65 of "The Legend of Hairpin", which makes you laugh while covering your face. There is a description of a small character in it. It tells the story of several farmers whose horses died. They see the big from the small, and a big chaos will happen after the accident. (I didn't save the book pages before, so I just found it after I almost finished flipping through the book from back to front... I can't post a screenshot. Please trouble yourself and find it there to take a look.) I hope it will be helpful to your future writing attempts.
I have been following the update for so long, so I will also write down my thoughts after reading it - the following is a very intuitive feeling. I am on duty at work today, so I can use my free time. The author takes a big look. 1. Reading many chapters makes people unable to feel where you are, and gives you a light and helpless feeling. It is obvious that the characters are powerful and the speed is fast enough, but it just makes people unable to feel it when reading. The characters are very pale, and so far you have seen the two interactions between Orochimaru and Alpha (the first time at Orochimaru's house, the two had an unconscious movement of getting closer, and the second time at Orochimaru's house, Orochimaru pressed his forehead against Alpha. The processing there is very wonderful. Indescribable feelings (not specifically love) linger in front of the two people like the warm moonlight, and then dissipate.) 2. The processing of broken chapters is weak. But the end of the latest one is handled very well, that is, "Alpha walks into the palace." It whets one's appetite. 3. Pale paintings of characters. I understand that your Alpha's "Tao" is unformed, so she is "indeterminate" and is still trying and chasing. Generally speaking, if such an image is well created, it will give readers a feeling of "I watched this little girl grow up." But so far, the image of Alpha (especially the face) is still vague in my mind. Her existence is like a "silly big sister" made of "smellless" and "wet latex", with erratic psychology and behavior. So do other characters. Just because they are familiar characters from anime doesn't mean you can't describe them in detail, and many of your anime characters or the things they do are not shown in the original work. You can completely create them yourself so that both readers who have seen the original anime and those who have not seen the original anime can identify with the characters. All in all, I feel that the author must have a lot of ideas in his head, but there are gaps in his words. Many good ideas, details, and exciting scenes in his head cannot be expressed clearly by pen. Above. ?! Will continue to follow up. Looking forward to your alpha.