After Being Reborn as a Salted Fish

[The Human High-Quality Breakup Master Training Manual [Quick Transmigration]] is ongoing. Please add it to your favorites. The blurb is at the very bottom.

Gu Ping's ultimate dream in life was to become a carefree, comfortably provided-for shut-in, doing nothing but lazing around at home.

Heaven heard his wish and turned him into a fish.

A real fish!

And a fish about to be cooked on a livestream!

Desperate to survive, Gu Ping struggled to speak: “Hello. You probably won't believe this, but I'm actually a koi fish.”

Yu Linxuan looked at the bluish-gray fish in front of him, took a picture for its funeral portrait, and searched it with a certain image-recognition app: “grass carp.”

Gu Ping: “I'm not a grass carp.”

Yu Linxuan: “You are a grass carp.”

Gu Ping: “I really am not a grass carp.”

Yu Linxuan: “You are.”

Gu Ping: “You're the grass carp! Your whole family is grass carp!”

Yu Linxuan nodded in complete agreement: “You're right.”

Gu Ping: ???

Only later did Gu Ping learn that “grass” had another, implied meaning.

↑ The above is just a cold joke. I tried really hard to make the blurb funnier. _(:з"∠)_

Fresh-faced, delicate immortal-painter food blogger × short-tempered, easily riled chef

Pretends to be proper × hot-tempered

P.S.:

1. One-on-one, bottom is the protagonist, happy ending. A friendly warning: this story has no logic, so read it without using your brain.

2. Top: Yu Linxuan. Bottom: Gu Ping.

3. Probably a funny story about a secret crush coming true (?)

↓ Blurb for Breakup Master [Quick Transmigration] ↓

1. After Lin Yan died unexpectedly, he became bound to a System. He must complete eight missions in different worlds to come back to life.

Mission: Break up the awful couples who destroy their worlds just by falling in love, and become a breakup master.

The ordinary, fake breakup master: talks until he's hoarse and exhausted, using every ounce of effort to persuade two people to stop seeing each other.

The human high-quality breakup master: the groom suddenly dies, the boyfriend faces the death penalty, the scumbag becomes a vegetable in an instant. A physical breakup you can trust!

2. Lin Yan diligently and violently broke up couples, while also falling in love with another Host in one of the little worlds.

Later, when they met in person after dating online, he discovered that...

The bullied younger brother of a wealthy family's fake heiress who kept saying he'd fallen in love with him at first sight/the frail sentinel ostracized by his classmates/the celibate, aloof physicist in the apocalypse/the handsome face in a boy band who always took the blame for his teammates...

was his amnesiac former rival in love :)

Lin Yan made a snap decision: “Let's break up. We're not right for each other.”

Pei Yi: “???”

But was he thinking of running away?

It was already too late ^_^

P.S.:

1. Rivals become lovers, with a younger top. Everyone except the top and bottom is just a plot device. Includes a dramatic amnesia trope.

2. One-on-one, happy ending, bottom is the protagonist.

Theme: For a better tomorrow, we must keep working hard.