My Roommate Has 18 Tentacles. How Do I Politely Tell Him I'm Not Up for It?

Tang Dingguang was a wage slave in a big city, making seven or eight thousand yuan a month. When his landlord raised the rent, he decided to move. He looked at lots of places online but wasn't satisfied with any of them, until he came across a post looking for a roommate: a luxurious river-view apartment, a half-hour walk to work, and best of all, rent including utilities for just 1,000 yuan a month. That was even cheaper than the 1,500-yuan-a-month studio in his old, rundown complex, which was about to go up to 1,800.

Tang Dingguang was stunned. This was the apartment of my dreams!

His head told him there had to be a catch, but his heart had already made him add the poster on WeChat without a second thought.

After asking the necessary questions and setting a time to view the place, Tang Dingguang casually asked why the poster was looking for a roommate. The poster said the apartment felt too empty, and he wanted someone to live with him.

Tang Dingguang shamelessly believed him. Right, right. Rich people get lonely too.

Later, Tang Dingguang learned that scoring such a bargain wasn't so easy. One night, after his landlord and roommate took a sip of the canned beer he'd given him and promptly passed out, eighteen tentacles burst out and reached for him from every direction.

Tang Dingguang: Holy crap, eighteen...

That night, Tang Dingguang fled in a panic.

The next day, his roommate came to explain. Since he'd been a model roommate up until then, Tang Dingguang wanted to talk things over too, so he asked sincerely, "What are you?"

His roommate said he was an anomaly, a disaster, a weird monster feared by humanity, a destroyer dreaded by other heretics, an entity the anomalous management department had always wanted to deal with but couldn't kill, a predator at the top of the food chain...

Tang Dingguang listened in silence for a long while, then sighed. "There's not enough room for all those people in my little rental."

Theme: If you have an idea, be brave and go for it