My Swords Can't Possibly Be This Dark

I'm just a cake seller, really. Why did I get dragged into a murder case over an inheritance? I don't know. Why do all these strange people know me? They're customers! Why am I blessed by so many gods? Because my house is full of deities. Why does my cake shop sell everything? Because I'm an interdimensional smuggler. Don't talk to me about inheritance, and don't talk to me about world peace. I just want to go home and sleep with my swords in my arms! What?! You're saying all my swords have fallen into darkness?! Those definitely aren't my own proper, home-loving swords, who can fight on the battlefield and cook in the kitchen!