After the Salty-Fish White Moonlight Slacked Off

[This is part of the Weird Thought Process series. It's a little strange and not particularly good.] One day, lazy Jiang Xiaoyuan got hold of a golden finger app that sent her to meet herself in a parallel universe. Her parallel-universe self was a hugely famous movie emperor in China, adored by countless fans: cool, domineering, and basically a female version of Long Aotian. The big shot scoffed at Jiang Xiaoyuan's laziness and decided to throw money at her, send her to a talent competition, and turn her into a star. Before the competition, the trainees all uploaded gorgeous photos, while the studio sent out press releases worldwide, hyping her as a future top-tier star. Jiang Xiaoyuan: Aba aba aba aba aba aba. After the competition began, the trainees were fighting, putting each other down, and scrambling for the center position. Jiang Xiaoyuan: What should I eat for breakfast? What about lunch? And dinner? While everyone else sweated, Yuanyuan drooled. Be the laziest fish and cling to the biggest sugar daddy! The big shot: (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻ How the heck am I supposed to make her a star?! [PS: The cover features the male lead, Chen Qiu. Chen Qiu is the love interest. This is not a self-pairing!] [A warning: There is a little ABO content.] Reading guide: 1. The story takes a bizarre direction and is full of snark. Please don't compare it to the rankings, or apply conventional logic to a silly comedy. Just have fun with it! 2. The big shots all say one thing and mean another. They only complain about Yuanyuan to her face. Chen Qiu is the love interest. This is not a self-pairing, this is not a self-pairing. 3. Three updates a day before the paid chapters, six after. Ten thousand words on the day it goes paid. Updates are tentatively scheduled for noon every day. [Coming next] "The Daoist Way of Showbiz" by Tun Yu The Daoist cultivator Chao Jinsui had been buried beneath a mountain for hundreds of years. One day, a landslide led a rescue team to dig him out. Mistaken for a hapless idol who had disguised herself as a man to take her brother's place, he emerged to find a sudden crowd of family and fans surrounding him, all wailing in anguish. His fans cried that their brother had suffered so much. The freshly unearthed Daoist furrowed his brow slightly. "Just call me Daoist Master." His fans: "Ahhhhh, Daoist Master Bro, I'm yours!" Everyone said Chao Jinsui was the shame of showbiz: too girly, always chasing publicity, and the most hated celebrity of all. Yet his fans were fired up and fiercely protective, so no one dared mess with them. Word was, he had offended every big shot in the industry, his opportunities had dried up, and he was about to be forced out of showbiz. But then... Could this quiet, taciturn pretty boy who spoke of vanquishing demons and told people to mind their manners really exist? Could a brother who excelled at music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, and even knew swordsmanship, really exist? Other people in showbiz: fight for opportunities, feud on the red carpet, and chase stardom. Chao Jinsui in showbiz: Shut up. Get lost. None of my business. Chao Jinsui had a sword called Demon Subduer. He slays demons, upholds the Dao, and defends the people against injustice. This is the simple story of an ancient relic trying to save the world, only to have the people of the world scream, "Marry me, Brother!" [Friends' recommendations] "My Secret Identities Are All Over the World" by Ye Ban Deng Hua (a universally adored bottom x a corrupted Demon King top; search the author's name in the collection!) "I Picked Up a Boyfriend in an Interstellar Prison" by Shi Mao Mao (an ongoing, super-sweet romance; the male lead is insanely handsome!) Theme: