[The Record Keeper] Mourning the Dead

I love Chen Fei from the past who is silent, charming, with a touch of sadness; ordinary yet unique, with her own profound thoughts and soul, and I also love Sister Luoluo who is working hard in life now. Sister Luoluo always seems to have an air of alienation and indifference, and she seems to have a soft spot for those profound deaths and pains. I don't know since when, the admiration for Sister Luoluo has become a habit. When I was in third grade, a pirated book became my literary enlightenment. That "Autumn Fall", which is lighthearted and interesting, but always haunted by a sad mood, stays in my heart and accompanies me as I grow. I didn't know who the author was, so I picked up my pen - Qiu Luo, Qiu Luo. My feelings for Sister Luoluo are based on readers and authors - passionate admiration. It seems that I can get close to her easily, but in reality I am very far away from me. I have always had the feeling of following Sister Luoluo. I want to keep up with you. Thank you, Sister Luoluo, I love the real emotion you inject into the article, and the endless love you have for words. In fact, I still have this book in my hand now - a "pirated book" that has been gathering dust.

This is the third article I've written. I just have a weak sense of emotions. Whether it's for yourself or your loved ones. The time when my grandma passed away, it seemed that I was in the middle of junior high school. At that time, when I got home after finishing my extra classes, I heard my mother leaving in a hurry. He didn't say anything to me, so that, well, grandma came out of the coffin a day or two later to finish the work. My mother just let me go to my grandma's house. I just saw everyone's eyes were red and swollen from crying. I don't feel anything. It felt a little ridiculous at the time. The reasons for not being filial during life were a few tears after death? What's the use? I remember my mother crying for many, many days. I thought that I was already ruthless enough, and my mood did not change when I saw the death of a loved one. That's what I thought. I really didn't feel anything at home. When I got home, I saw the house full of grains and runes. Suddenly a feeling of sadness and sorrow came over me. As for tears, I cried unconsciously. Without anyone. I couldn't stop it. Several years have passed. When I read this article, I suddenly burst into tears. May the deceased rest in peace! Living silence is the best memorial to the deceased

In the past few days, I have been reading Sister Luoluo's articles again and again, and then I saw this article, and suddenly I wanted to write some messy words. Now, when was my first contact with death? I was only four years old at the time, and suddenly one day my grandfather passed away. To be honest, I had no sense of reality. Now that I think about it, the only memory my grandpa left for me is a small balcony, a tall figure sprinkling water on the plants, and the hand that fell on my head when I came up. I actually can't remember my grandpa's face clearly, and I only have a vague impression when I try to recall it, like the blurred edges of an old yellowed photo. I still remember lying on the bed with my cousin, playing with glass beads and paper stars, and I also remember the neighborhood where I played with my cousin when I visited my grandpa. But for grandpa, I only remember him lying on the coffin with his eyes closed. I was confused, and I went around three times with my mother to kowtow to him. Later, there was the cold tombstone that I faced when I burned incense every Qingming Festival. I was too young at the time and didn't know how to cry. As I grew up, my grandfather's memory became blurry and unreal, and I didn't feel much sadness. But, I still remember the endless sadness and heaviness of my mother and the others on the day my grandpa was buried. I am still deeply impressed by it.

I hated my great-grandmother when I was little, and then she died. My mother asked me to kowtow in front of her grave, but I didn't. When I grew up, I suddenly realized that my great-grandmother was really good to me. I always wanted to kowtow to her, but I didn't have the chance. So, there are some things that you will regret after a long time. I regret hating her when I was a child and regret not kowtow to her. I really regret it.

Thank you, I understand my ruthlessness

When my great-grandfather and great-grandmother died, I was still an ignorant child. Now I only regret why I didn't take a good look at them, which caused me to forget what they even looked like. ——The only thing that is remembered and not forgotten is the gray photo on the ashes on the wall. What I thought I had forgotten, turns out to be so easy to pick up again. Thank you for helping me bring back my childhood memories.

Well, I cried when I saw it Although I have not had any close relatives die, an old dog friend who has been with me for 13 years passed away. Since then, I have never wanted to go back to my hometown. Every time I go back to my hometown, I can always think of her. I remember when my grandfather told me that she passed away, I went to the place where she slept without saying a word, and then cried all afternoon. That was the first time I felt the true meaning of the word "death"...